Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, you now live one one of the very isolated and very cold Shetland isles.

I wish for some chicken satay. (My favourite chicken dish at the moment).

Granted, but you'll have to come to Maryland to get it

I wish I could be the one to do the grocery shopping for the Abbey.

Granted. But he needs exactly 50 kg potatoes twice a day.

~

I wish I understood everything and didn't get bored by any of it.

Granted, but the stupidity and pointlessness of it all makes you depressed.

I wish I was better at drawing.

Granted, now you have the ability to draw, but now your hands gets tired after a while after you was given tons of work to draw the whole city by memory and it has got to be exactly on the dot.

I wish that the weather doesn't suddenly turn cold?

Granted. Now the weather slowly turns cold.

~

I wish the next poster is female.

Granted, however ... um ... hm.

I wish Benadryl didn't make me sleepy.

Granted, due to an error at the manufacturing plant it is now actually 10,000 times stronger. It doesn't make you sleepy any more...

I wish my tulip bulbs hadn't been eaten by some pesky rodent.

Granted. They were eaten by an elephant instead. It's still creating havoc in your neighborhood.

~

I wish plants could talk.

Granted. Your plant is called Seymour II and talks to you a lot. Seems to need a lot of feeding.

I wish my plants would stop talking to me!

Granted. They ignore you from now on.

~

I wish superman is real.

Granted. Unfortunately, when you threw away the suit you found apparently abandoned in a phone booth, you became Superman's enemy. You don't want to be on Superman's bad side....

I wish my garden would till and plant itself.

Granted, it is now full of Triffids.

I wish the huge meteorite heading towards my house doesn't h...................

Granted. It misses your house but totals your car.

I wish the bank would make up its bleeping mind on the short sale.

Granted, they sell you short.

I wish I didn't procrastinate so much.

Granted, you get everything done before noon Monday, and are then bored out of your wits for the rest of the week.

I wish split peas were more digestible