Corrupt A Wish

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(Aww - thanks.

I wish you manage to sell everything that needs to be sold, and find a perfect apartment. )


I wish vegetables and fruits didn't have a skin to be peeled.

Granted. Instead of a skin to protect against insects, they have toxins and must be cooked in 3 changes of water in order to be edible by humans.

I wish the Internet were only useful and not such a convenient brain-drain.

Granted, it can now only be used for research purposes. All social interaction is prohibited.

I wish the Internet transmitted information using all the senses, not just sight and sound.

Granted, but it only transmits FROM you, to the FBI, not TO you.

I wish for a steak & cheese sandwich.

Granted. It magically appears right in front of me. HAHA! nomnom!

~

I wish for world peace.

Granted, I won't corrupt that one.

I wish to become the best person I can be.

Granted. You are now the best person in the world and everybody envies you.

~

I wish the next poster will tell a little story in their post.

Granted. I ate food. The end.

I wish that I could have told a better story.

Granted. You're such a good storyteller that people can't tell when you're telling a story and when you're telling the truth, so nobody trusts you.

I wish I had more willpower.

Granted; you don't have the time nor energy, though.

I wish for breakfast right now.

Granted; all you have to do is cook it, and do the dishes.

I wish red wine didn't upset my stomach.

Granted; you get inebriated in just a sip.

I wish for something worthwhile to do.

Granted, you dedicate your life to rescuing all those poor live crabs from supermarkets and releasing them back in the sea. (Keeping the odd one or two of course for your cooking pot).

I wish for a cup of tea.

Granted, but it was so hot you burned your tongue.

I wish I lived far away from here.

(Actually I forgot I'd made it and it was cold. )

Granted, you now live on the Mongolian plateau herding goats.

I wish for a hot cup of tea.

Granted; you sign on to the first experimental Moon colony.

I wish I'd woken up earlier this morning.