Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, you have bats in your attic.

I wish all my work was done by Friday.

Granted, you'll be out of work starting Saturday and have to start mowing lawns for a living.

I wish elves would come and wash all the dishes while I'm at work today.

Granted, they are also there to greet you when you come home and to share their exotic cigarettes with you.

I wish to lose a few pounds.

Granted; you have a hole in your pocket and lose a few pounds sterling on your next trip to the bank.

I wish the same thing, to get to a healthy weight and stay there.

Granted in the new age its 500 pounds and you are constantly hugged by me and other autistics who seek pressure

I wish for a 500 pound person to be at my door dressed in leather to hug and snuggle all day long ;D

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Granted, he will be around later after he has finished his day job at the sewage works.

I wish for a 140 pound woman to be at my door dressed in leather to hug and snuggle all day long ;D

Granted! but she works at a fish factory and smells of rotting fish

I wish for a 500 pound person dressed in latex to be at my door to constantly snuggle in sticky warm latex

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Granted, but each time you snuggle, you get stuck together, and it's very painful to get yourselves unstuck.

I wish for a statue of Buddha to put in my room.

fine by me des

granted! but it weighs 1000 pounds and cost you 500,000 dollars enjoy the debt of a huge loan

I wish i could meet buddha in person ans snuggle him he looks cute and fat

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Granted. It waits until the next time you leave the house.

I wish I could sing.

Granted, but you lose every other talent you possess in the process.

I wish for something good to eat.

Granted. If you start the seeds now, you could harvest peaches in 5 years!

I wish I weren't so achey and painy.

Granted. Now you can't feel a thing. Since you can't feel anything, you'll keep getting your wounds infected, you're always on antibiotics. You'll end up in an isolation chamber due to your resistent bacteria.

I wish the world of Pokemon was real.

Granted. Um, I think the original wish might be corrupted enough, so I'll leave it at that.

I wish someone else would fix me a nice breakfast today.

Granted, the mice have got into your kitchen and been busy with all your food. Not sure I fancy what they left you though.

I wish to win the lottery and travel the world.