Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. By a wild coincidence, I bought the same number you did this week, so you'll have to split the jackpot with me. Maybe we'll meet up somewhere on our respective world tours

I wish I were strong and flexible and 100% healthy.

( )

Granted, you have been converted into high tensile rubber.

I wish for a big swimming pool in my garden.

Fine you get your pool, the only problem is that it has killer crocs in it. Enjoy your swim !

I wish that aspies were immune to cancer and heart disease

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Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Granted. Instead Aspies are universally subject to irritable bowel syndrome, psioriasis and sciatica. (ouch!)

I wish apples were in season.

Granted, they probably are somewhere in the world.

I wish for a hard but ripe crunchy pear.

You get your pear, but it is infested with worm eggs. You eat the worms and then they grow inside you and start to crawl out of your mouth.

I wish that aspies were immune to all injury and diseases.

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Granted, but NT's dislike this very much and imprison all Aspies for the duration of their long healthy lives on a penal colony on Mars.

I wish for a slice of apple pie.

Um, sorry.

I wish for a magic spell that would cure all the fears.

Granted, however you have dyslexia and can't spell it correctly.

I wish for a magic wand.

Oops! The wand decomposed whenever it touches your fingers.

I wish that the fajitas would be done already...

Granted; they now catch fire, and you get a set of black fajitas.

I wish I could teleport myself to any place I want to go, so I don't have to spend anything for fare.

Granted, but in doing so, you travel faster than light, which means you are sent back in time and you will never speak to anyone you know again.

I wish that I could manipulate the laws of physics.

Granted, but oh, the unexpected side effects! Buffalo is overrun with buffalo!

I wish we could find a safe, sustainable alternative to petroleum FAST.

Granted, your personal safety-guaranteed plutonium reactor is being installed into you new apartment as I type. You may find you no longer need to put the lights on... because you glow in the dark anyway.

I wish for a steak and kidney pudding, with mashed potatoes, broccoli, carrots and lots of gravy.

Yes, sir, coming right up! That's a 96 oz steak & kidney pudding, 3 lbs of mashed potatoes, 1/2 oz each of broccoli and carrots, and a bathtub full of gravy. And if that's not enough to make you lose your appetite.........

I wish I didn't owe a whole bunch of money to the electric co.

Granted, you owe double the amount to your mobile phone company.

I wish my electricity bill would pay itself.