Corrupt A Wish

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Uh oh. Granted, your tooth is not sensitive, so you have no notice of the missing filling until it gets much worse and you end up having to get a root canal!

I wish I could sleep all day.

Granted, you now suffer from acute narcolepsy.

I wish to get some more work done in a minute.

Granted, you are now working on the railroad.

I wish that I was a Cheshire Cat.

Granted, you are now a cat. But you still have only one life, and it's a short one as you are an alley cat .

I wish I was a sequoia tree.

Granted, but as such, you don't have a brain, and therefor aren't conscious, and therefor will never know you got your wish.

I wish I was a super intelligent flea with an unbeatable plan to rule the universe.

Granted. However, since you are a parasite, your plan depends on finding a host willing to play along ... fail.

I wish I could spend the whole day without speaking to anyone (and I'd get off the computer, too!).

Granted, you get laryngitis!

I wish for a busy afternoon.

Cool, you can come finish my packing while I'm at work today!

I wish someone would come finish my packing while I'm at work today.

Granted, you return home to find your door wide open and everything packed and gone.

I wish for something to wake me up a little.

Granted, you are given 1000 CCs of Monster intravenously.

I wish, I wish, I wish I had a fish.

Granted, you have a shark to keep in the bath.

I wish for a cup of tea.

Granted. I weeded my garden and steeped the cuttings in some nice bog-water for you. Bottoms up!

I wish I had a magic carpet.

Granted, but the carpet is a free spirit and likes to listen to bad loud angsty music till the break of dawn every single night.

I wish for spaceship capable of taking me to an inhabitable planet within a week.

Granted, but curious about seeing a new alien lifeform, they do all sorts of terrible experiments, anal probes etc. before dissecting you while still alive.


I wish I could relive all the good days?

Granted, welcome to ground hog day, unfortunately due to a cosmic error you keep reliving the day of your worst ever hangover.

I wish for

Granted. You receive a watery solution of stale coffee.

I wish today's move will go smoothly!