Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. You wake up tomorrow and it is Sunday 25 May 2010 at 11:59:59 pm. Have fun on monday, one second away!

I wish for this wish to not go wrong.

Granted, your wish does not go wrong. Nothing changes, and you do not win the lottery you were scheduled to win as a result of the planetary shift that *would* have happened had your wish gone terribly, horribly wrong.

I wish I had some raspberry beer and a square of super-dark chocolate.

Granted, it's a good thing you only wished for Some, because there ain't much left. (burb)

I wish for this to be over soon.

Denied.

I wish for a pause of time when I sleep.

Granted, you wake up in the future which is strangely like Futurama.

I wish for a bale of hay.

Granted, but you choke on all the needles no-one can find.


I wish there were more hours in the day?

Granted, due to a new European directive there will now be 100 hours in each day and you need to work for 90 of them.

I wish for a bucket of water to wash all that hay down.

Granted, but there's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza,
There's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza,
There's a hole.

Then fix it dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Then fix it dear Henry, dear Henry, fix it.

With what should I fix it, dear Liza, dear Liza,
With what should I fix it, dear Liza, with what?

With a straw, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With a straw, dear Henry, dear Henry, with a straw.

But the straw is too long, dear Liza, dear Liza,
The straw is too long, dear Liza, too long.

Then cut it dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Then cut it dear Henry, dear Henry, cut it!

With what shall I cut it, dear Liza, dear Liza,
With what shall I cut it, dear Liza, with what?

With an ax, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With an ax, dear Henry, an ax.

But the ax is too dull, dear Liza, dear Liza,
The ax is too dull, dear Liza, too dull.

Then, sharpen it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Then sharpen it dear Henry, dear Henry, sharpen it!

With what should I sharpen it, dear Liza, dear Liza,
With what should I sharpen, dear Liza, with what?

With a stone, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With a stone, dear Henry, dear Henry, a stone.

But the stone is too dry, dear Liza, dear Liza,
The stone is too dry, dear Liza, too dry.

Then wet it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Then wet it dear Henry, dear Henry, wet it.

With what should I wet it, dear Liza, dear Liza,
With what should I wet it, dear Liza, with what?

With water, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With water, dear Henry, dear Henry, with water.

But how shall I get it?, dear Liza, dear Liza,
But how shall I get it?, dear Liza, with what?

In the bucket, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
In the bucket, dear Henry, dear Henry, in the bucket!

But there's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza,
There's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, a hole.
There's a hole.


Oh yes, a wish! ... I wish for free dental work!

Get another crappy song stuck in my head, and I'll give you some free dental work!

I wish I could find all the pieces and parts to get my new kitchen put together.

Granted. You've been reassigned to a new dentist, Dr. Farb. He's a sadist. Have fun!

I wish for some unfortunate occurrence.

Granted. Just turn on the evening news, you'll see the unfortunate occurrences of the day.

I wish modern humans had a sense of appropriate limits to acquisition and consumption.

Granted. They have a sense of said appropriate limits. These are overridden by herd mentality, but they delight in enforcing that sense in others. You, for instance.

(NTs wreck everything.)

I wish I could always tell whether any given person loved any other given person at any given moment.

I'd like to grant you this, but you'd have to be able to define "love" first.

I wish my bathroom and bedroom were on the same floor.

Granted, didn't you notice all the woodworm and termite damage to the floor? The two rooms are merged into on very tall room rather suddenly.

I wish for a nap.

Granted, your town becomes flooded and you are given the job of removing all the flood water with your hole free bucket.

I wish I hadn't eaten so much garlic bread.