Corrupt A Wish

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It already is... you are just a fictional character in this computer simulation you think is real!

I wish for a banana milk shake.

Granted, but it has already spoiled.

I wish I could travel backwards in time.

Granted, but you have to undertake Ballroom Dance class first and then wear a sparkly lycra outfit and lots of fake tan.

I wish the pizza in my oven would set off the smoke alarm soon, I`m hungry.

Granted but now the pizza is burnt and charded. Mmmm mmmm

I wish I had a car so I can make volunteering a bit easier.

Granted. Enjoy your railroad freight car.

I wish that I could see things in the Infrared spectrum.

Granted, but you are now blind to everything else

I wish I could get a break

Congratulations on the broken arm.

I wish that I ruled the world.

Granted, you announced military control over the entire world and were subsequently assassinated

I wish I had a million bucks.

Granted. OMG, what are you going to do with all that venison???

I wish other people around me were as into the World Cup as I am. (that's the only thing I miss about my old job at an int'l organization)

Granted, everyone is so into the world cup that they had to steal your TV/tickets to watch it so now you don't get to.

I...am running out of ideas. I wish my armpit hair didn't grow back

Granted. But your nose hair, oh my goodness!

I wish I had some idea what kind of creature is making that odd loud call outside my window at 11:26 pm.

It is Freddie... coming to get you!

I wish for a little more rain.

Granted, the world floods and anarchy ensues.

I wish I had lots of gummy worms/bears/lifesavers (preferably lifesavers)

Granted, now I shall feed you with real gummy worms.

I wish I had slept longer?

Granted, but now you are so long none of your trousers fit.

I wish the crows would stop picking moss off my roof.

Granted, now the crows start picking off of you.

I wish for a cherry blossom tree to plant in my yard.