Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, all your friends move in together with each other in a big house in .... Iceland.

I wish to catch the road-runner.

Granted, but he pecks your face with his beak and you lose him again.

I wish for ordered cheese pizza, I could use a slice.

Granted, but due to a mix up with your address the pizza gets delivered to me in France instead - you still get the bill though. High speed air-delivery wasn't cheap.

I wish for a drink to wash down that pizza please.

Granted; one quart of compost tea coming up!

I wish it were dark already so I could go to sleep (loooong day today!)

Granted! but you have insomnia and dont sleep anyways

I wish to have a blood pressure cuff for my neck custom made so i can still use my trach and ventilator.

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check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Far be it from me to corrupt that directly. Let's say someone comes in and sets that up for you, but then insults your taste in music.

I wish to send the noisier friends of my blood-relatives to Timbuktu.

Granted, you ship them there by air-freight. It costs you $20,000. However, they are all refused entry at Timbuktu and are returned at your expense (another $20,000) and since they no longer have any where else to live they all move in with you.

I wish Acme would supply something that doesn't explode in my face.

Granted. They supply dynamite that attaches to your tail and explodes in your ___, instead.

I wish I could live on Harry's farm instead of this little hobby "farm".

(^ Instant enema. )

Granted, you now live on Harry Bloomfield's pig farm and have the job of cleaning out 1000 pigs each day.

I wish it was yesterday today.

Granted. Your calendar now shows 2 x 1st Julys and you have to pay out twice for bills due on that date.

I wish I could find some diet root beer, I am going off the regular stuff, it is too sweet.

Granted, there is a little shop in Cornwall that makes exactly what you want. You will have to collect it yourself though, they don't deliver.

I wish for a glass of cool refreshing lager.

Granted. With your limited French and your Aspie social skills you manage to piss off the barmaid enough that you get a cool, refreshing lager dumped over your head.

I wish I had a boyfriend just like Harry, except, like 30 years younger

Granted. Your vague wording has turned you into a toddler again.

I wish that I was the greatest Go player who ever lived.

Granted. Nobody else in the world knows how to play.

I wish I wasn't afraid of matches.

Granted, you lose all caution and burn your house down.

I wish the garden were FINISHED.

Granted, the garden is FINISHED, by a hailstorm.

I wish today would've had good weather.