The Really Bad Advice Thread

Post Reply New Topic

heat and eat a peat beet with meat and a fleet of wheat on the seat with your deet-covered NEET feet on a sheet.

^^^

join the army at age 57.

start an armed insurrection with nerf guns

Don't vaccinate your kids. You'll save a lot of money when they die before they're old enough to start college.

be totally clueless about possible future hazards and heedless of warnings.

That’s excellent! Don’t forget it’ll also help other parents save a lot of money when their kids get something nasty from your own, all because you so bravely defied the politically correct tyranny of herd immunity! Think about it: herd immunity. Do they think we’re goddamn cattle? Screw them! Immunity shmunity

throw out all your chocolate and go back to your septic tank instead.

If you need to find something visually in a room, let the walls, the ceiling, the floor and everything inside, including electromagnetic radiation, reach thermal equilibrium.

For best results, let yourself be in thermal equilibrium with the room and its contents, too, at room temperature.

mix mucus with your milk.

Don’t go to the doctor if you find you’re producing lots of milk without having recently given birth, or, better yet, without being biologically female—it’s perfectly normal

replace all your K-Y with superglue.

If you're in my shoes, keep messing around and neglecting the huge mountain of things you actually need to get done in the next few days. Don't bother to get rid of all that s**t overflowing your room, which almost doesn't let you walk in or out, and keep sleeping at erratic times and eating like a proper hog.

Don't worry: you can't be in my shoes, because I'm barefoot.

Don’t worry about that spider bite;it’s probably harmless.

if your hair clippers break, use a lawnmower instead.

No need to stop a hand-mixer to clear a clog in the beaters----just stick a knife in the beaters, while they're still going; it clears them much faster.

Always offer a beer to the police officer who pulls you over.