Lie through your teeth

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Everybody is smarter and better looking than me...

Kenjuudo is a stupid jerk

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check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

I absolutely LOVE it when people pay for 14 dollars worth of gas in all pennies. I love it even more when said pennies are unrolled, and instead poured from a ziploc bag onto the counter where I have the supreme enjoyment of counting them all.

I love it when drunk old men stare at my chest and ask me to go deep sea fishing with them.

I hate cheese.

i'm 28 feet tall and weigh 2 stone
i can pick up trucks with my nose and have my own spaceship in my garden complete with cloaking device and photon torpedos!

I hate strapples!!!1

I've done pot, hash, shrooms, ecstacy, heroin, crack, morning glory seeds, just about everything. I've gotten high on household cleaners, cough syrup, even candy. I've gotten drunk countless times. This was all in the year I was 17. I was living in Edmonton. Once I smoked cigarettes too. I sold my ass on the streets of Edmonton, Calgary and Dublin that year. Then I just suddenly quit, when I moved back to Exeter to visit my birthplace and ask the inmates who were still at the asylum where I was born who knew my parents what my parents were like. They told me that there was a big riot at the institution in 1994 and my father escaped, along with 4 other men: Adan Dorrie, who was only 19 at the time and killed an orderly with a chair, Doni Heins, 22, who killed a vindictive nurse with a plastic shank from his shoe, Davi Glyn, 31, who smashed a tech's head into a corner of a table and caused him brain damage so bad he ended up in the institution himself, and Argon Meisters, 38, who smashed a window with a table and slaughtered his way out of the asylum with some glass from the window. He and my father made it down to the morgue, where they pocketed as many knives as they could carry before smashing up the morgue with a fire axe. Then they escaped out the window. Meanwhile Adan Dorrie and Doni Heins had stolen an EEG machine and the files of all the patients in the ward and hijacked a nurse's car.


My friend and I went looking for my father in the bars and pubs of Dublin because Elli Duram, an inmate at Exeter, mentioned that they had planned to go partying in Dublin, and we were told he had gone to Scotland. So we went to Scotland and found him in prison. He wanted my friend Maxin to commit a crime and get put in the prison so that they could hang out all the time and Maxin could get free room and board somewhere. He liked Maxin, and said it was a shame I wasn't a boy so I wouldn't be in the same prison he was in if I committed a federal crime.


Davi Glyn escaped from the institution too, but went back to see if the tech he had attacked was now in there as a patient, and sure enough he was. His name is Alfie Durin. I talked to him. He was quite friendly with me considering.

I hate it when my old friends on WP write long posts.

It reminds me of my best friend on WP who was always apologigising
for his short posts

and his brillant spellunkimg.

I am now going to write the longest post ever in honour of hir.


...I am not grunk or maudlin atoll!

i am on crack... right now

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

When I was seven, I lived in a small town in Texas named "Paralou." The population was less than a thousand. We had two elementary schools there, one on the North side of town and one on the South side. We also had a soup factory, where most of the town's population worked. Paralou was actually quite large compared to other towns in the area, some of which did not even have their own schools. My father was the 3rd grade teacher at the North side elementary school at the time, and there was not a single person who wouldn't go to him to have their questions answered. We had no library and no access to the internet, so unless someone you knew knew the answer to a question, there was no way to find out.

The schools were both very small. As you might have guessed, each had only one teacher per grade. As such, I was preparing to enter my father's class as I neared my eighth birthday. This would not have been that big of a deal, but this was the first year that my father was teaching the third grade, and there was, apparently. worry that he might show favoritism. He had no prior teaching experience, so he had no recommendations he could give in that regard. As such, he had to find some way to prove that he could not show favoritism towards me. The answer was shockingly simple: Invite the principal to dinner.

This town was very traditional in its views. The men would go to work and the women take care of domestic affairs. The principal's wife was infamous for her inability to cook. She tried, but food seemed to detest her. Even the simplest meals would go awry, much to her frustration. The principal, therefore, was almost certain to accept any invitation anyone might extend. The principal was no fool, however, and knew what my father had planned. As such, he replied to my father's inquiry by suggesting that we come visit him for dinner, kids and all.

Now, I don't know if you are aware, but telling someone that their wife simply cannot cook is not something you say, especially not to your boss. Nor do you turn down an offer from said boss. The good news was that my father had an iron stomach. The bad news is that I did not.

We arrived early (which is quite unusual for my family) to a home decorated with shelves upon shelves of books. The principal was a tall, thin fellow with hair that had just begun to be peppered grey. He offered us seats and then snacks before dinner. Snacks that his wife had made.

I was unaware of his wife's complete inability to deal with food, and so when he offered me a devilled egg, I took it and bit into it. I spent the next ten minutes in the bathroom. My father, sensing opportunity, said that I must be sick. He said that I had told him that I was not feeling well, but he thought I was faking. The principal waved it off, guiding us to the table. The smell coming from the kitchen was causing me to feel nausea again, but before I made another run to the bathroom, my father decided that his attempts to subtlely influence the principal were going nowhere. He decided to tell him directly that he intended to show no favoritism to me.

"Well of course not," I heard the principal say as I rushed once again to the bathroom. "That was just a rumor. I would not have hired you if I thought so. Now! Let's eat!"

It was a very long night.

i own Pfizer

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Viagra is the most useful thing ever invented.

I love Canada!

Gordon Brown is a great leader, and we don't need an election.

George W. Bush has made the world a much safer place from terrorism, and has made our economy stronger than ever. Don't listen to the whiners... they're having a mental recession.

I love political humor.

I love Anime.