Corrupt A Wish

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Granted but you end up on Venus, populated solely with women (Amazon ) who use you as their make-up model!

I wish I was an Amazon warrior.

Granted, you are now an Amazon warrior and live amongst women (no men) and get to gossip all day long about women's stuff.

I wish I was a toad.

granted, but when some (un)fortunate person kissed you, you turned into some female Jehovah witness.

i wish fairies existed.

Granted, you get your own personal fairy godfather, complete with Mafia connections.

I wish for a glass of cool water. Nothing fancy, a nice simple wish. What could possibly go wrong?

There's a toad in it, and it's spawning eggs!

I wish for a wish.

Granted, you get a wish, however since you didn't declare it I get to chose a wish on your behalf which I'm not obliged to disclose.

I wish French shops didn't close for two hours every lunch time.

Granted, but now they don't open at all!

i wish for a teleportation device.

Granted, however it can only do transports between your kitchen and the kitchen of the people living downstairs.

I wish Tom would run faster!

Run, Tom, Run!

I wish you made a wish.

Right! Um... I wish I had access to the Bay from this property.

Granted, you now have full access to eBay from your current property.

I wish for a portion of banana fritters with cream and jam.

Granted. Unfortunately the cream has gone bad, the jam is moldy, and the whole thing fell on the floor between the kitchen and the dining table.

I wish for a banana split.

Granted, there is a whole banana on the plate in front of you and a surly looking waiter approaching with a large axe!

I wish for a portion of banana and custard.

Granted, you get an ant-sized portion of banana and custard.

I wish to go skinny-dipping.

Granted, but you get swept much further up the beach by the tide and emerge at a crowded part of the beach surrounded by lots of people.

I wish I had a camera!