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la_fenkis
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14 Nov 2018, 9:54 pm

SaveFerris wrote:
When chopping super hot chillies , don't bother washing your hands , rub your your eyes if they itch and touch your bits as much as possible when you urinate


It's a good idea to routinely forget simple life lessons.



auntblabby
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14 Nov 2018, 9:56 pm

drill a hole in your skull and poke a pencil inside of it through your brain matter, makes a convenient pencil holder.



Sylkat
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21 Dec 2018, 2:40 am

Definitely have your eyelids tattooed.


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auntblabby
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21 Dec 2018, 2:42 am

eat your credit cards after maxing them out.



Sahn
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21 Dec 2018, 2:53 am

you can lose more weight by jogging through the Serengeti



IstominFan
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22 Dec 2018, 11:41 am

Skip washing your hands after sneezing, coughing or using the toilet.



envirozentinel
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22 Dec 2018, 12:36 pm

Tell Dennis Istomin you're his greatest fan, then ask him how many goals he scored during his latest match!


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auntblabby
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23 Dec 2018, 4:07 am

vote GOP if you're amuuuurican, vote Torie if you're from the mother country.



Sylkat
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23 Dec 2018, 1:45 pm

Contact that guy in Florida who caught an eighteen foot Python last week.

Get him to show you exactly where he was hunting, then take a leisurely barefoot stroll through the area.


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envirozentinel
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23 Dec 2018, 2:14 pm

Remember, pythons are just looking for a hug.


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Sylkat
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23 Dec 2018, 8:53 pm

Porcupines need hugs, too... :lol:


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auntblabby
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23 Dec 2018, 11:43 pm

as do skunks and badgers.



Sylkat
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24 Dec 2018, 1:32 am

How about shaking ‘hands’ with a Blue-Ringed Octopus?


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auntblabby
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24 Dec 2018, 1:35 am

turn on one of those compact flashlights, with fresh batteries, swallow it and see if it is still lit when it emerges down south.



envirozentinel
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24 Dec 2018, 2:18 am

Swallow your cellphone so you can get some really intimate selfies of your oesophagus,stomach and intestines. The doctor will be impressed that you took your own X-rays.


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auntblabby
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24 Dec 2018, 2:24 am

swallow a bunch of lithium batteries