Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. I've been cloned several times.

I wish all my fishes were wishes.

Granted, you only wish you had fishes.

I wish my tea were still hot.

Granted. Your tea is still hot. Unfortunately, it is too hot to drink and will never cool down!

I wish I had some lysergic acid diethylamide.

Granted ... bad trip, the men in white coats will come to take you away now.

I wish the local NPR station still played old-time music on Sundays, instead of re-runs of weekday talk shows.

Granted, but the music is too loud and staticky.

I wish I had eaten at the little concessions stand instead of going to the big fancy noisy restaurant.

Granted, but now your stomach feels the way greasy concession-stand food makes your stomach feel.

I wish I had more than 1 pair of jeans, that fit well.

Granted. I've performed a magical spell to get you another pair of jeans that fit well. The raw materials included everything else you own (except your other pair of good jeans).

I wish I were already a psychiatrist rather than having to go to school.

Granted, but that means you have to wing it and you lose your license for prescribing the wrong meds to people.

I wish my right thumb didn't hurt every time I hit the space bar.

Granted. You now have leprosy. You can't feel any pain.

I wish Omegle had moderators.

Granted, but people are so creeped out by that idea that they abandon the site and start a new one without mods.

I wish I were invisible.

Granted. You cannot be seen, heared or touched. No no one has to hear or see you again! Muahahaha!

I wish I could overclock my Kindle from 532 MHz to 650 MHz.

Granted, but it overheats and melts down.

I wish I didn't have to leave for work so soon!

Granted. You're fired.

I wish for perfect teeth.

Granted. Your teeth are now perfect by rodent standards. Just remember to keep chewing or they'll grow into your brain.

I wish this wish wouldn't get corrupted.

Granted. I did not corrupt this wish, because you didn't actually wish for anything.

I wish I knew how to make money.

Granted. You know how to counterfit money.

I wish my pretty kitty would meow when I asked her to.