Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, you now have more energy... because we've converted matter into energy. Guess it would be more accurate to say you are energy.

I wish I were one of those people who don't need to sleep.

Granted, you're manic. It won't last, though (thank God!)

I wish my back muscleswill not hurt tomorrow from today's p.t. exercises.

Granted, because you're now completely numb.

I wish I didn't suck at everything.

Granted. A Russian reversal happens. Everything sucks you. Much so, vortexes of spacetime.

Thatmew didn't make a wish indicating his wish was not to wish but by wishing not to wish was itself a wish, resulting in a universe rupturing paradox destroying this universe (and a few other innocent ones that just happened to be too close)


I wish knew why I wonder why I wonder why...

Granted, but the explanation requires a hundred levels of embedded knowledge and you're too ashamed to show your face anywhere because you can't understand it.

I wish I were better at embedded knowledge.

i dont know what that is but granted you are now stupid in every other area

i wish i could control people with my mind

granted, but while controling everyone you lose control of your own mind and this causes you to destroy the planet with your human pawns.

I wish I was able to transport

Granted, you are now a pack-mule in a poverty stricken country and transport heavy loads of rocks from a quarry every day of your life.

I wish I wave a magic wand and WP would be free of all flame wars.

Granted, you test out your new magic wand, which destroys all human life. No more flame wars! Or any other wars!

I wish my friends were the people I thought they were until yesterday, instead of the people they really are.

Granted: but as the memories of your friends transgressions fade along with everything else from the last few days, leaving you totally without any short term memory. This has the net effect of causing you to ask the same questions hundreds of times and being banned from forums for spamming..


I wish I knew everything.

Granted, but you're incapable of doing anything else with your brain but storing data.

I wish Omnicognic would get rid of that awful avatar; it's hurting my eyes.

Lol since I have been here, I got complaints over each avatar I put up: the 1st one because it wasn't original, the 2nd because some could find it offensive, the 3rd because it was the first that wasn't animated and the 4th (this one,at the time of this post) because it hurts the eyes, and some said it caused stress headaches....

Granted: but I forsee an endless chain of constantly changing avatars and people complaining that they never know which posts are Omnicognic's without having to scan the post names

I wish our avatars had more than a 16k limit for file size.

Granted. Soon, everybody has gigantic, animated GIFs. Unable to look at the forums without going into shock, nobody visits WP ever again.

I wish I had a soft, friendly little kitten.

granted its the cat from pet cemitary

i wish i had a 400 inch HD tv

Granted, but it's broken and doesn't work.

(Sorry, Omni!)

I wish the site simply didn't allow people to use avatars.