Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but it's only certain people. Namely, you.

I wish for a cool new smartphone.

Granted, but you smartphone turns out to be dumb.

I wish for someone to do my dishes for me.

I will do dishes for you, but you did not say what I should do to the dishes. So I will pound them to dust with a big hammer !

I wish for a nice orange tree which grows chocolate oranges on it

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Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Granted: but after a bumper crop this year, you develop diabetes and a Jabba the Hutt physique..

I wish everyone everywhere was happy from now on..

Fine, I just hope you like the happiness patrol, they are coming to your town soon !

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Happiness_Patrol

I wish my dog could be trusted to go for walks on his own

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Granted ... you can trust her. Really. Why wouldn't you trust her? She would NEVER poop on somebody's front lawn, or chase cats, or come home stinking of ditch water. Trust!

I wish I hadn't blown up at my landlady this morning (and that she hadn't PROVOKED me!)

Granted, but next time you see her you will pour some fruit smoothie straight onto her top and put pizza in her hair.

I wish that Hitler wasn't such a misguided ass.

Granted. Hitler grew up to be a saint. Many people who would have died because of Hitler don't and live long enough to have more kids. Your whole family tree is now different and you end up not being born.

I wish my Kindle 3 wasn't messed up by the hack I just put on it.

granted its messed up by a hack that you will put on it next week

i wish that linux controlled the world

Granted: late in 2010 an artificial stem cell was created, running on LINUX, it was capable of altering other human cells to any tissue type. By 2018 these cell/nanite hybrids were heralded as the fountain of youth, and injected into everyone at birth. Able to fix anything from a headache to regenerate major limbs, a medical miracle. However, it wasn't long before it was discovered they could also be used to connect to computers and between people. In 2021 "Mynet" the ultimate social networking site was created, and immediately became self aware. By 2025, 95% of humanity consisted of one mind. Freedom fighters mainly from the aspie community (most of whom shuttered at the idea of social networking and angered by the attempts to "cure" aspergers, saying "we aren't sick, just different") sent me back in time to stop this abomination from occuring!

I wish I could stop obsessing over wrongplanet.net and get back to saving humanity.

Granted, but you fail.

I wish my homework would do itself.

Granted! Your homework now and forever does itself........ But it completes it in Binary code only.

I wish I could live on my own private Island in the south pacific......

Granted, but there is no power on the island, therefore you cannot access the internet.

I wish that my internet router does not stop working.

granted it never started working
i wish all aspects of the world relied on easy to understand logic like C++

Granted. Now everyone you see asks you about how the universe works.
I wish my keyboard worked better.

Granted! But now your monitor flickers off and on randomly.

I wish all my bills were paid off.