Corrupt A Wish

Post Reply New Topic

Granted: It as in "Cousin It" from "The Addams Family" feels so warm in fact that he gets a haircut..... the donated hair makes wigs for 6 dozen children undergoing chemotherapy and "It" now much cooler in many more ways than one, recieves an award for his thoughful contribution.. (bet you thought I was going to do a world on fire bit )


I wish my neighbor would quit obsessing over my hobbies.

Granted, your neighbour no longer obsesses over your hobbies of creating zombies in your yard and shooting them with a bazooka - because he is currently aiming a bazooka right at you!

I wish for more motivation to work this afternoon.

Granted, you will find out that your deadline has been shortened by 2 weeks. Your boss forgot to tell you until today, and the new due date is tomorrow!

I wish I lived in a house with a fireplace.

Granted, you can have mine, it is huge. Several people can stand in the fireplace and look up the chimney and see the sky!

I wish I lived in a house with better heat insulation that didn't need a fireplace.

Granted, the house is so well sealed the air becomes stale and unhealthy.

I wish the tree outside my window were healthy & not needing to be taken down.

Granted, the tree is now healthy unlike your house which needs to be demolished.

I wish I could speak fluent Bulgarian.

Granted: however before learning Bulgarian, you signed a contract (in Bulgarian) stating that the fee for your language lessons was to become a monk in the Bulgarian Orthadox Church, in Vratsa Bulgaria and as such required to take a vow of silence and celebacy...

I wish I had invented a bazooka proof body armor for zombies.

Granted! The Bazooka brand gum has no effect on zombies wearing said armor.

I wish people had emoticons on their forehead to tell me how they are feeling.

Granted: you now have a gift that places an emoticon on everyones forehead that let's you know what they are feeling, but because everyone's emoticon is you think your gift is broken.


I wish the the woman who tried to run me off the road this morning grows a mole on her forehead the size of a coconut and twice as hairy

granting in progress please be pacient....... 99.9% COMPLETE
ERROR Can not continue .

i wish for a vcr from 1976

Granted, you can have my old top loading one in the attic for the knock down price of $1000

I wish for a pink panther.

Pour toi, Inspector Cluseau: (you're really into pink animals lately, huh?)


I wish this sore throat will clear up without turning into a full-blown cold.

Granted. It turns out you have tonsilitis.

I wish I had a truck full of blackberries.

Granted: a brake failure sends an 18 wheeler full of blackberries hurtling into your living room.. a week later the smell of fermenting berries draws every insect in a 5 mile radius to the same location.

I wish I had a new neutron detector.

Granted, but it beeps at supersonic levels when it detects a neutron and drives wildlife crazy.

I wish I could give and take away eternal life and health, including to myself. Oh, and a red velvet cake!

Granted: jump ahead 20 billion years.... there we all are.. the last matter in the universe, sucking in vacuum and red velvet cake, with not a glass of milk in existance.....


I wish I could come up with better wishes....