Write a story using WP usernames

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Copy and paste the story so far and then continue it, including a minimum of two usernames and a maximum of five.

This is about wracking your brains to come up with witty ways to include usernames that are actual words, not nonsensical ones. It has to make sense. I'll show you what I mean.

The story:

Our story begins when our hero was but eight years of age. His stepfather sat him down and stroked his hair fondly, speaking to him gently. "RedheadedStepChild, I have some bad news for you. YourMother has a tumor. "

The little boy began to cry, but his stepfather wiped away the tears. "Don't worry, son. It's B9. Everything's going to be all_white."

The little boy corrected him: "don't you mean "all right?"

The stepfather frowned. "Son, I've told you countless times not to make fun of my speech impediment."

This turn of events led to...

The little boy growing up in thewrll-wind of events, and becoming a punk rocker from the UK.

His mom goes onto live and has to pay TenPencePiece just to see his shows.

However, that doesn't last for long, and she relapses into sickness.

This makes the son really sad, so he decides he is going to quit his job and take care of his mom past his last show.

Being supportive and all, his mom decides to come....however, it is just OneStepBeyond the distance she can go and she sinks into a coma right on the floor.

He now doesn't know what to do with his life...almost as if he had lost his Identity, so....