The insult thread (not personal ones)

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Post a word or a phrase that is insulting. This isn't posting insults to someone, but just a name you like to call someone, or a phrase you like to use in an insult.

I'll start.

"Go get a bucket and wash my balls"

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

" Il (elle) pète plus haut que son cul!" i used it a lot to describe shrub.

"never get a man to do a woman's job and vice versa (because there's no way i can do that)".

"I have better things to do with my time"

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Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

I'm sorry, your face was mauled by a group of bears wasn't it? Because it actually looks like it was mauled by two groups.

I like calling someone a "twatwaffle". I have no idea what it means and cant remember where I heard it, but I like it.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

I fart in your general direction...

пениса моржа
another fave insult is from russia, but i can't find online anywhere the actual cyrillic words, but translated it means walrus willie.

Fartknocker

That's lower than whale sh*t !

Four-legged barbarian. (from Japanese)

If you don't like vulgar insults I would suggest you go to the next message...

"You have the attention span of a goldfish with memory loss"
"Violent little W*nktank you are!"
"You see that over there? Its the flying f*ck I don't give about you!"

Next time you cross the road, don't bother looking.

You're a waste of oxygen.

When they handed out brains, you were obviously standing at the back of the queue.

i once told a person at work (when i was working in an office as a programmer)
"good grief! you palsied bloody baboon!" when i saw the output of a program he wrote.

i got into much trouble because the person had dark skin, and they thought i was referring to race (which i was not), and also i was lambasted for being irreverent to people with cerebral palsy.

i did not think of either of those 2 references when i said it.
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one person i knew was extremely conceited about his intelligence, and he commented that he needed nothing external to his own inner thought to yield brilliant produce.

i said "if you were locked in an empty room for 10 years with no pencil or paper and fed through a straw through the wall, when it came time to open the door and see what you had come up with, all they would find is a room knee deep in s**t"

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person: i consider myself a genius
reply: you do not even have enough intelligence to realize how dumb you are. everything you think.. no matter how stupid.. goes over your head...so that is why you think you are a genius.

person: i am very attractive.
reply: yes you are... to blowflies.

person: my skin is so beautiful and soft. what do you think?
reply: your skin is a garbage bag.

person: i am so proud! i have so much to give to the world.
reply: the only useful things you can give to the world are your organs.

person: i have an all over tan
reply: yes i see even your tongue is tanned, but i guess that is because the sun shines from the bosses arse.

if you were a stick of dynamite, i would use you to open that door, but because you are not i guess i will have to open it myself (cryptic)

the best joke you ever told was when you said you were not joking.

i can not think of any more spontaneously. i will try to think of some better ones off line and return to this thread in a few days.
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actually, before i go, i remember seeing 2 old ladies in a cat fight once (this was funny to me because i have no idea why it was funny), and one lady got so angry she said to the other lady "well you can stick it in your bottom!!"