Weirdest possible way of describing something

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Pick anything and explain it in a way that's technically true, but that would sound as strange as possible to someone else.

Do that first, and then tell us what it is, several lines below (you've got to have suspense!)

I'll go first, in the next post.

Did you know that Israel, England, Egypt, Spain, Algeria and Croatia all used to be the same country?













The Roman Empire.

A mobile, subhuman sack of colorless liquid protein is a...













Cow.

funny how we make our ideas physical by dragging squiggles with a stick of carbon caked in dead trees onto more dead trees.
different groups of people use different squiggles.













a pencil and paper.

Hey, Buddy!! (Theta) This is a GREAT idea, for a thread!! ! I don't have the brain for figuring-out stuff like this, but I thought I'd give your thread a bump, for ya.....

balls of jelly on the end of a string that capture light and with muscle rings that come in several different colors.











eyes.

Shaken and stirred bird embryos mixed with animal protein and then heated in animal grease and placed on a flat, cut piece of a kneaded, yeasty concoction that has been cooked twice, using different methods, one slow and one fast.










Scrambled eggs on toast.

Four sets of boots on the ground, to visit your home and remove all insect pests free of charge, using no toxic bug sprays. Most of the time, you won't even know they're there!













A spider.

A girls name that divides two opposing factions whilst at the same time playing a fundamental part in each factions interactions














Annette!

Body fluid expressed from an animal's glands contained in a vessel of solidified previously-melted components of sand.








A glass of milk.

something completely sexual with no other desire than to copulate
something blatant, obvious and actively seeking attention....

















a Flower!

Fanged predator drooling, tasting, beautifying.









A cat, bathing herself with her tongue.

It burns everything
and yet it creates everything












the sun

you sit on them

they're not your bum!
they cradle it
they keep your spine in an upright postion











chairs

An emerald green ship drifts farther and farther from the land. It shimmers brightly under the midday sun.

It has no mast, no sails, no captain, and no passengers. Its hull is decorated with the intricate patterns of some indecipherable alien language.

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...a leaf floating in a pond