Problem and "solution"

Post Reply New Topic

A user asks for a solution to a problem, then the next user provides a bogus solution and also asks for a solution to a problem etc.

Example:

Catlover5:
Problem: My cat is lazy.

DeepHour:
Solution: Pour water on her and she won't be lazy anymore.
Problem: My laptop got a blue screen.

cberg:
Solution: Throw a hammer at it and the blue screen will be gone for good.
Problem: I am afraid of mice.

etc.

I'll start:

Problem: I'm hungry but too lazy to eat.

Solution: Pour water on yourself so you stop being lazy. If it works on the cat it will work on you too.

Problem: I want to go to a swimming pool but I am afraid of thieves. There is no lockers for stuffs around that swimming pool - you just leave your stuff on grass and go swimming.

Solution: bury your things in the ground and nobody will ever find them.
Problem: my face muscles hurt because I've been forced to smile too much.

Rent a crane and tell the operator to drop you naked into the pool.

All your face needs is anasthetia.

Problem: I have no idea what to do with leftover waffles...

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Hey cberg, I'm glad to see you posting here.
Solution: go outside and throw them upwards, maybe they will escape the Earth's gravity and become satellites of Earth.
Problem: I want to buy a can of Sprite, but I have no money.

Attach a robotic arm to a drone, fly it into the store and grab a can, and then fly it out quick before anyone notices.

There's crap all over my floor and I don't want to pick it up

Solution: go into another room and stay there forever.
Problem: the world will be out of oil by 2050, what should we do?

Confiscate all oil-paintings from galleries and museums, and extract the oil from the paint to cover the shortfall in production.

There is too much noisy, anti-social behaviour in my town in the evenings.

Solution: insert a ruler into a nearby fault line. This will cause an earthquake that will destroy your town and its nasty inhabitants.

Problem: my computer has a virus.

Solution: Then don't go anywhere near it, you might catch it

Problem: The neighbour's dog bark all night long.

Solution: Give it some chocolate. It will mute it forever.

Problem: The weather is freaking hot. What should I wear?

Solution: dress like a firefighter.
Problem: there's a spider in my room.

Solution: Then don't forget to give it a name. I named mine George.

Problem: My pens keep running out of ink.

Solution: kill an octopus, take its ink and put it into your pens.
Problem: I want to party hard and get wasted, but I'm an Aspie.

solution: get wasted and party hard.
problem: my boss is too short

Solution: bend down when you talk to him, that way you'll hear him better.
Problem: my Internet is slow.