The Talk Like Dimentio Game!

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Dimentio is a villain in Super Paper Mario who talks like this:

"And so I arrive, like a sudden windstorm at a kindergarten picnic!"
Now we must duel, like two gleaming banjos on a moonlit stoop!"
"Your blows are like tiny jackhammers wielded by tiny, angry road workers!"
"Were you amused? That was just an hors d'oeuvre!"
"The next time we meet, we will feast on a deadly eight-course meal!"
"Ah, once again we meet, like two large, hairy vikings on a storm-tossed schooner!"

So in other words, talk in ridiculous similes.

Here's my first one:
My post was like the mightiest of of mighty prose, akin to the Iliad!

^ As Achilles slashed through the Trojan ranks, just so did Kuraudo's post slash through my soul.

The sunlight outside my window is as strong and compelling as Capt. Picard's utterance of 'THERE! ARE! FOUR! LIGHTS!"

The 40-watt lightbulb in my room is like the great White Whale breaching to the skies.

Star Trek is the epic ballad of epic hope for the epic future and living long and prospering!

May we all live long and prosper, like the ant that finds a bread crumb three times the size of himself.

May we protect and nurture the earth, as Ammy does in Okami while purifying Yokai, attacking with literal holy crap, and falling asleep during important speeches!

Kuraudo's similes fall upon my laptop like the arrows of the Persians at the Battle of Thermopylae.

The school lights hurt my eyes like the gleaming on the prows of the black ships before Troy!

The posts in this thread keep streaming out, like the Achaean warriors streamed out from the holds of their ships, which was like how bees stream out from their underground hive.

(A three-level ultra-meta-simile.)

The kittens were as cute as a hundred thousand Tribbles!

Our blows will strike the enemy with the force of ten thousand tribbles falling from an overhead storage compartment!

The Kingons will get so angry at us for pelting them with Tribbles that they will eventually sing songs about defeating us in the great Tribble Wars!

Begun, the Tribble Wars have.


(Oops, sorry, got my genres mixed up for a minute. Carry on.)

The Force is as wonderful and as powerful as the plot demands...except when characters conveniently forget about their Force powers.

And a disembodied voice was heard to whisper, "Use the Prime Directive, Jim."