Unexpected Object World Takeover

Post Reply New Topic

Here's how we play Unexpected Object World Takeover: Describe how a person could further their quest to take over the world using the previous poster's named object in some unexpected or unusual way. Then name an odd object of your own for the next poster to use.

Example:

Object - A hairbrush.

Use - Rhythmically brush the hair of the spouses of world political and military leaders until they are hypnotized and will do your bidding. Then tell them to get the leaders to give up state and military secrets whilst in the throes of passion and bring the information back to you. Use it to topple the leaders and gain world domination.

See? Takeover made easy!

Here's the first object:

A golf ball.

Get a janitorial job at the White House. Every day, bring a single golf up to the roof and leave it there. Over time, so many golf balls will have accumulated that the roof will collapse. With proper timing the highest leaders of the country could be taken out.

Simultaneously, operatives/minions will have similarly piled golf balls on the roofs of all of the other capital buildings in the world. The rate of golf balls addition is carefully calculated so that all of the capitals' roofs collapse on the same day. That would leave the world suddenly leaderless.

Then, point out to the media that golf balls have also been piled on their roofs and that they can be taken out with a single golf ball at any time. Use that to force them to depict you as a strong, charismatic leader who is the world's only hope for survival. And, also force them to demonize any Congressman or Senators or others who oppose you by labeling them gay, fascist, atheistic commies who eat puppies and are mean to children.


Next object: a bottle

Enchant said bottle with a Dominate Monster spell (D&D reference) so that everyone who comes into contact is under your control. Utilize your new minions to build your vast empire of snootily-dressed, semi-depressed-looking anthropomorphic piggies...


Object: Hot Pocket

Promote Hot Pockets as the food of choice for the powerful, through the use of subliminal advertizing. Plant operatives in the homes of world leaders as servants. On the specified day, have them all heat the Hot Pockets to such high temperatures that all the leaders are rushed to the hospital with severe burns after attempting to eat them, rendering them unable to speak for some time. In their absence, replace the old Hot Pocket ads with ones whose new subliminal messages promote you as the answer to all world problems. Appear in public to lead the masses, with your first act being to imprison the former leaders as soon as they're out of the hospital.

Next object: Roll of toilet paper.

I put the toilet paper in a printing press & print out replica hundred dollar bills on it. I roll it back up on the toilet paper roll & then wait for Mitt Romney to win the presidential election. After he does I offer him a trade; the $100 bill toilet paper so he can wipe his ass with soft money & I get the codes for the nuclear weapons & Star Wars missile defense system.


next object~ Q`tip

Wow! You know, nick007, your method will be hard to beat!

Now, as for that Q`tip... Perhaps I need only use it to clean out the ears of the citizenry so that they actually listen to what's being said to them - by everyone!. Then maybe they'll demand better!

Next object: a blank CD

I make it a data CD and fill it with code of the word's top secrets, then copy it to other CDs, which are then read to the top secure computers which then read the code to obey me.


Next item: A rubber ducky.

I'm thinking bath time fun and high explosives. Something that might be very satisfying for CyborgUprising. Let us all picture strategically chosen individuals in their tubbies, playing in the water. It's just too tempting for them not to squeeze those duckies to hear them squeak! Now, pull back for the distance view in order to maximally enjoy the effect. Cue big booms and lots of fire, worldwide. A window, cement, and steel shattering extravaganza, with shock waves that rattle neighboring buildings for miles!

Next object: a piece of chalk.

Yay 'splodey time!
As for the chalk:
Create deadly chalk dust for all the world leaders with athsma and while they're getting treated in the hospital, steal their secret plans for world domination and put them into action them yourself. Those that don't have athsma wil be distracted (and sneezing) by the dust cloud just long enough for you to get the plans.

Next object: a decal.

hand out ilumniati decals imposing as charity decals to all the world leaders, then single-handedly, exposing the iluminiati and there world domination scyme, have all the leaders jailed, then w/ my new found fame convence the world to make me there guardian king, where i change the whole monatary(SP) system where it looks as if all is well but secritly vast amounts are are transfered to an account for me, much like the federal reserve.

object: feather pillow

Pillow fight!! !! ! Whack on their heads with the feather pillow until they agree to world domination by me! I win!

Next object: a pencil

re-write the consatution(SP) to add me as the all powerful leader, and since noone alive has read the whole thing noone disputes it

object: 1/4 horse

Not quite sure if you mean a regular horse chopped into 4 pieces or the horse breed called a Quarter Horse.

If it's the former, make poisoned pet food out of the poor horsie, feed it to the beloved pets of the world leaders, then while they're busy having pet funerals, sneak into their offices, etc., etc..

If it's the latter, train it to run off to a predetermined secret locale on command, put a saddle on it and offer free horsie rides to the aforementioned world leaders, then give the command, etc., etc..

Unexpected object: a thermometer

Get a job as a producer of burger steaks for a worldwide known fast food brands. 'Accidentally' break a thermometer and spill its mercury in a tank full of burger aroma. This would poison millions of Americans and westerners. During this time of chaos and mass food poisoning, proceed to invade the United States and Europe with the army King Abdullah bin Abdulaziz al Saud and Putin gave me.

Object : a quarter dollar

Talk is cheap, as they say. Use the quarter dollar to pay lots of people to say they'll follow me no matter what, I'm so great. Use the group pressure to make everyone conform, so everyone will do as I say.

Next object: a single hair of a boar