Once U-Pun a Time

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I can't say that the tittle is original, just fitting. Here is where to share puns, shaggy dog stories, and feghoots.

While watching the latest Iron Man movie in the theater, I thought of two puns:

"Iron Man. Not quite as strong as the Man of Steel. Still, pretty impressive."

and

"You're not Iron Man."

"Yes I am. Why do you think my suit is always so well pressed?"

Enjoy, and remember. "A pun in time, saves nine."

They are both types of stories that involve puns:

Shaggy Dog Story
Feghoot

... and remember, if people say that you are mean, tell them you are merely average.

Some horrible puns, I created:

Hans: Sorry for coming late, there were no trains!
Otto: What happened?
Hans: The conductors were on strike.
Otto: Before the Deutsche Bahn even commented on their demands?
Hans: They are on preemptive strike.

The worst:
If a number can double, can it also float? Or integer?

For Pascal programmers:
I do not mind the real life but it lacks precision.*

*real is similar to the data type, which is commonly known as float.