I really hate my parents.

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I am wondering whether it is normal that eventually as we reach adulthood we start to despise our parents and feel a strong urge to move as far away from them as possible.

My parents especially my mother is almost like an enemy to me. I can hardly tell her of my learning problems (or the lecturers overall stupidity) in college as she always give her usual "you are wrong, they are right, you fix yourself" nonsense.

I believe in becoming the best I can be and ignoring the rest of the crowd who wish to bring me down to their inferiority. I don't mind being different as long as I am doing the right thing. In the end, it is people like me who would succeed over these mindless factory drones.

But my mother is a hardcore "follow the crowd" thinker, she demanded that I should just imitate the stupidity of the lecturers and their parroting students just because I can have a good grade certificate which screams "Congratulations, you are a loser!!Now go apply for a job and fail". Not to mention she is an arrogant b***h who seems to think that SHE knows better than I do about MY learning situation in college, although she have never been in my lecture sessions even once in her entire life!

I am sure that many of you are in the same position as I am. Whenever I achieve something that can be proud of - like scoring A+ in my Calculus where most others couldn't, she tries her best to belittle me saying that "oh this is not that important sonny don't be so proud of yourself go back and study". But when I did something bad, she goes all "WHAT IS THIS CRAP YOU ARE NOT MY SON GO BACK AND STUDY NO MORE TV FOR YOU" and blah blah blah.

Please note that whatever bad grades I am getting in my studies, it is far, far, far, far better than what my NORMAL parents with their NORMAL social lives could ever possibly get during their time. The fact that I managed to go this far despite my huge disadvantage is something to be very proud of. Talk about hypocrisy.

I no longer see my parents as people who could counsel me on my turbulent teenage and adult life. They would always misinterpret my situation by their bigoted twisted point of view, assume I am wrong and they are right, and demand me to do things that never solves the problem. It pains me that I always had to learn to cope with life being an Aspie (who possibly also suffers from ADHD) the hard way - alone.

I no longer see my mother as someone I wish to impress and hopefully in return recieve more love and care. Now she is nothing but an old hag I unfortunately have to stick with just because my current part time job does not give me enough money to move somewhere else. She is just a b***h who wants more $$$$ and babies from me since apparently that's how she defines life. The end justifies the means - your ambition and self-satisfaction are all put aside.

The sooner you quit caring what they think, the better off you'll be.

It sounds like you're doing really well. Don't let her negativity bring you down.
You may not be what she wants you to be, but you are you. Eventually, she'll probably accept that.

(It took my parents until I was about 27 or so.)

There came a point where I realized that I was never ever going to have the kind of relationship with my parents that I wanted, so I just accepted it and let it go. That was freeing. They both still have the power to unhinge me at times, but it's rare now and improving with time. You'll get there. Just keep reminding yourself that you can't change them.

No its not normal to hate one's parents after you reach adulthood. Sure not all parents are perfect, but I think for a lot of parents they did the best they could raising an autistic child within communities and school systems that do not even recognize the problem. And never forget many of those parents are on the spectrum themselves, so they may find parenting and getting along with their child a real challenge.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I think you still have a lot of growing up to do even if you are of adult age. Many Aspies mature slower than normal. You will find if you move away from your parent's home and even to a distant town that you will mature a lot more quickly. And your life can get better from this. You can always get a full time job. I lived with my father till I was 28 and finally got up enough chutzpah to get the hell out. I am much better off in many ways by being on my own. Believe me you will LOVE having more personal space to yourself in your own place.

I've found as I have gotten older and lived away from home longer I have come to appreciate my parents more even with all their issues and problems. I now feel like my parents are good friends, instead of enemies.

you come across as stuck-up.

your mother is telling you that it's a 'who you know, not what you know' world, and she is correct about that.

a lot of aspies lost in the world of their own intellect and worshipping their own intellect, it's a trap and it doesn't get you anywhere.

i used to despise my mother and felt she was stupid and banal, but hey, i was really up myself! a little humility would certainly make a lot of difference to your relationship.

I must agree with Ticker...moving far enough away from the nest is good for the soul, yet sometimes scary. You'll learn to love it! Cherish this time!

You should try to get out of the house as soon as possible. Obviously your mother is just very critical of everything you do. My mother is similar but to a much lesser degree. You need to do something to get away from her and start living your own life. When you're paying your own bills and supporting yourself she really can't have any input in the matter. As long as you are living under her roof, you are living under her rules.

I'm having similar issues with my mom. I finally confessed I thought I was mildly autistic, and she agrees. I'm a freshman in college now. However, she just keeps telling me to try harder, not zone out, not stim, walk more normally, be more social, etc etc. And in some ways, I do need that advice. To get along in life I have to learn how to fit in with society - so she's right. But, it also seems so unfair. If I told her I felt I was transgender, would she just tell me "Well just keep acting like a girl", or If I told her I was a lesbian, would she just tell me "Well just keep trying to show interest in men..." I mean, yeah, it would make me more normal, but it doesn't solve the root problem or make me any happier. I can't expect society to conform to me, but pretending to be someone I'm not really exhausts me. She's a little crazy - bad anxiety, controlling, has alienated most of her friends and family. I know she loves me and wants the best for me, but it makes me so angry when she goes on and on about how everyone has issues they need to work on and maybe I should go see a therapist and get some anxiety meds. Yet she never mentions her own issues (I don't think she's autistic, just somewhat emotionally disturbed for some reason or maybe she has anxiety problems), and would never go see a psychiatrist. She needs anxiety meds way more than I do. I feel like when I go home for a whole month all hell with break loose. I'll say these things to her, about how dare she point out all my issues while doing nothing to fix her own, and things will get nasty. She's critical about my clothes (I'm 18 and she'll forbid me from wearing certain colors, forcing me to give her the clothes to return), my weight (Im 5 feet and around 100 lbs, and she's constantly insulting my weight adn telling me to exercise), telling me to stop being so awkward, etc. I feel so pressured. In some ways, her intolerance of me has made me cope with my issues instead of being held back by them, but I can only suppress myself so far.

My mother was experianced, having had many children before her, and working with disabled children before that.

My father, on the other hand, is a very arrogant person. To him, he beleives he knows all; is justified in calling someone a 'n****r' or 'monkey', is a sexist, refuses to listen to my views, my siblings (from a diffrent Father) views or indeed anyone else.

He beleives he is Jesus Christ. I would like to test that theory (a la kill him and see if he wakes up again a few days later)

He is often insulting, prefering calling me 'tosser, idiot, w*ker or nigger-lover over my real name.
He hates me because I am 'weird', i'm also homosexual to which, yes, you guessed it, he hates as well.

He has been.....unfaithful to Mother and myself, running off to his girlfriend, then only dumping her when he found she had terminal cancer.

Would you blaime me for wanting to distance myself from him? A typical 'NT'?

if you killed daddy, then you could marry mommy!

PostPerson, you seem like a typical NT to whom an Opediual Complex would suit. Am I right?