How much have you 'learnt'?

Post Reply New Topic

I am an undiagnosed Aspergerer . Through years of personal interest/research and training for my profession I have no doubt that I have AS. I have more aspie traits than I care to mention here and score highly on all of the tests. I have no doubt that my father is also on the spectrum. What puzzles me is that I am actually very good at 'reading' people and social situations. However, this is absolutely not natural to me.

I'm not sure if I'm putting it very clearly here - but - although I have very little interest in people or social aspects of life in a personal sense, I have always had a huge interest in people in a way I would term as *anthropological*.

Without wanting to blow my own trumpet here (well - not too much!) I have an IQ around the region of 150-60. I have learnt many of the appropriate reactions in social situations and - although I find it incredibly stressful - I can 'pretend' very successfully when need arises. I often figure out people's motivations and the subtle nuances and clues they give out to decode their emotional states, more so than I feel most NTs can. However - this is all without much empathy. I just like the challenge and it is often to my advantage. To be honest, I just don't really care enough about most people to be particularly interested in or personally bothered by whatever is going on with them. I'm not saying that I don't feel sympathy, or that I'm cold hearted. I just don't have much of that empathy thing going on.

My husband is my only friend and this is perfectly fine by me. I've never felt the need for more than one friend at a time and have always been considered a bit of an odd-bod. I can be as 'AS' as I like with him and don't have to pretend to be interested in things I'm not and don't have to cover up if there's something I'm not understanding. He also totally understands my need to 'decompress' after work or social situations.

Anyway - waffling aside - I just wondered if there was anyone else out there who felt that they can sometimes be better at decoding (or projecting) NT than most NTs are naturally?

Or - would other people describe this as more the behaviour of a sociopath as opposed to someone with AS?!?!

*gulp*!

You know I've been wondering the same thing about myself. I've approached people as a logic puzzle, with an independant ruleset, and find most people's behavior to be mostly predictable within an acceptable range.

But it was still funny when I had to sit down with my fiance's parents about some fight we were having, and they said "Don't worry, we won't bite," and I couldn't tell them that i don't know that empirically I would *guess* they won't bite me, but unlike a normally socialized person, I don't implicitly know they won't.

Anyhow - yeah, not unusual for sociability as a learned behavior

Hi notlurkingwell, I do like your candor - really (yet another Aspie trait)! I am 'cogntively enhanced' as well with some/many of the traits you related. However, to be certain, for diagnostic purposes, have you considered being professionally diagnosed? Just a suggestion.....then you can know definitively which may hasten your discovery of AS and help ameliorate the 'hard part.' Trust me, I have difficulties; I am actually a HFA (Autie), so I am 100% autistic regardless of my level of functioning. Many (most?) Aspies can function nearly NT whilst I do not necessarily. But I function well, just differently. I hope that makes sense.

Although I do not know you, from what you described, and the WAY in which you described yourself, just subjectively I seriously do NOT think you're a sociopath at all - not even close.

True, having your personality traits does not necessarily indicate that you have AS; hence professional diagnostics may be in order since you're curious. I'm not meaning to be intrusive but just wanted to address your question. Good luck!

Oh, let us know how it goes too, if you want to share. Wrong Planet is fun with quite a collection of individuals. You're one of us now!

I can really relate to your story. (Although my IQ is not as high as yours) I feel that my perceptions have been honed by years of observation. I also share the feeling that my interest is more anthropological than true empathy. Also I can "size up" a person very quickly and accurately, more so than most NT's. This skill is essential since much of my business consists of property management and I have to pick my tenants wisely.

I'm that way too.... I was better than most people at work at gaging coustomers moods and reacting appropriately. It was the reason i though for so long that i didn't have AS even though every thing else fit. I have not been formally diagnosed, mind you, but i'm working on a diagnosis now.