I think I could have Asperger's, but I'm not sure. Insight?

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Hi, I'm new here.
My boyfriend (let's say J) has Asperger's, and recently, I've been starting to question myself, as a lot of our similarities lie within his AS traits. It's easy to talk to him about most things as he seems to be able to relate to them.

For example, our love of having the same cereal every day, dry, and with milk on the side. We each thought we were the only people who did this, before we met each other! I like to have the same food on certain days: roast on Sunday, curry on Wednesday, and fish and chips on Friday ... etc.
I'm quite withdrawn with anyone but my closest friend, my immediate family and J: I have a lot of acquaintances but I don't let a great deal of people get that close to me ... it just makes me feel uncomfortable, and often stressed, like I can't keep up with it.

I was constantly bullied at school for being intelligent, studious and "different", so much so that I had to move school a fair few times! I found I could never read people's intentions, so I wound up trusting no-one in the end and becoming a recluse - trying and failing to maintain good friendships.
Nowadays, I often feel I'm not being myself around friends and family, that I'm putting up a front, almost like people wouldn't get the "real me". I don't naturaly know how to act around people, and I often feel disconnected.

I can be slightly OCD, straighten curtains if they're wonky, straighten drink mats wherever I am ... else it bugs me so much that it makes me anxious. My hair and teeth have to be brushed a certain amount of times, too. It just feels more "right".
I'm hopelessly pedantic within spelling and grammar - so when I get it wrong, I get so ashamed! *lol*

For me, my computer is an obsession: I spend many hours per day on here, either on forums or chatrooms, or coding layouts.
As a result, I've made friends online (I find it a lot easier this way), and both relationships I've had have been from online dating sites. I can get to know people from a distance, which puts my mind at ease.

I detest loud noises, they can quite disturb me sometimes - I'll flinch or hold my hands to my ears or eyes.
Recently went to the Cambridge ARC website ... my AQ is 42, while J's is 46.
Another test I've taken came out as:

Your Aspie score: 137 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 81 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie.

So ... yes. Apologies for the essay - have a for getting through all this.

What do you think?

My AQ is 40. I just posted some of my traits on this form (it's at the top right next to yours). It's funny that you say you act like you are not yourself. For years I have always said "time to put on the mask". This mask is different for every situation (family, friends, co-workers, specific people, customers). What I mean by "mask" is literally acting. I play the role I feel I am supposed to play, that's actually why I love meeting strangers (odd considering I feel awkward meeting people and having small talk). With strangers my role isn't defined yet, and most recently I seem to be letting the true self out there with new people I meet, and if they don't like it...too bad.

In the end I have yet to be diagnosed with Aspergers (or other high functioning Autism), but I am sure beyond a reasonable doubt. I don't have any particular food habits in preparation (I actually view food as merely sustenance and eat based on hunger, not defined meals. Weird habits include eating cold food directly from a can, picking at cold leftovers in the fridge, etc...).

Two things to keep in mind....

1. Aspies attract other aspies

That could be why you and your boyfriend are attracted to eachother.


2. Anyone hanging around someone on the spectrum for a long time will start to pick up some of their behavioural traits and may also reflect on their own past.

My wife feels more and more aspie every day.