Anyone not diagnosed until in their 40's?

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Unfortanutely I'm not 40 but I got diagnosed late just 2 years ago. I wished they had done it sooner. I knew there was something not right but I could never pinpoint it and felt depressed for a long time. Then after I was diagnosed, I was in denial since they said it was in the Autism Spectrum. Now I'm trying to accept it as something I have. This site has done a lot for that.

I ran into the Aspergers theories while researching gifted adults. I realized that I fit the criteria, but decided not to get a formal diagnosis, because there is still too much stigma attached to the word 'autism', and I have found peace with my own quirks and eccentricities. Plus, if you have such a dx as an adult, it can do harm to your career, and ability to get medical insurance.

Now that I know what is different in my cognitive and sensory processes, I understand why my life is the way it is. I can work around the difficult aspects, and amplify the aspects that are helpful- like my ability to go into great depth in research and learning on something I am interested in. My ability to do this with multiple subjects makes me very useful beyond my chosen career, and informs and amplifies my writing hobby.

The most important thing is that I have found some semblance of peace and happiness with my life- and it was not easy to find. When I realized that not only was I outside the NT 'box', but that there was no box for me, it took away a great deal of anxiety and unhappiness for me. This has flipped my perspective- in finally accepting myself, others also accept me, and appreciate my unique outlook.

Undiagnosed and misdiagnosed until two years ago after a lifetime of knowing I was different. in some fundamental yet unspecifiable way.

I agree that we're seeing more Spectrum dxs now because of vastly heightened awareness on the part of doctors, teachers, etc. In my case I obfuscated my condition by trying to "fit in" because of cultural expectations. I went for a dx after reading an article with the Autism Quotient questionnaire, which gave me the first ephiphanal insight that I'm not just weird.
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Of crucial consequence is what un-, under-, and misdiagnosis in women mean in the lives of women who are AS and don't know it. One meaning is that they have no way of explaining themselves to themselves, thus no access to the support and positive sense of self they need. And, perhaps more important, more difficult, and more destructive than that, they accept the default explanations for the string of problems, setbacks, and oddities in their experiences and behavior: character weakness, resulting in a vague yet profoundly affecting belief in their own worthlessness."
-- Jean Kearns Miller, "Under-diagnosis in Women", Women From Another Planet?

I'm going to have to read that book, it seems.

:adds title to ever-growing Aspies reading list:

I have a feeling that this- and cognitive elements- is becoming Yet Another Special Interest. I need a bigger head to park all these ideas in!

If you haven't read it (or read it as a newly DXed aspie), please read "Stranger In A Strangeland"...for me it summed up my experience better then many of the "experts". Not that I am from the same planet as this stranger but it deminstrates what it is like to have a different neurology then the planet you inhabit...plus it's just a good read

...Me . In fact , I was going to write - ...........

I am 46 and just in the process of getting it 'diagnosed' officially. This will make me feel better personally as I have had many many years of being told I suffer from depression...which has caused the anxiety attacks. I know I'm in for a battle to get the diagnosis as I am in the UK and here it's still not understood. The area I live in actually does not have a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist that specialises in AS. No I do not live in the wilderness but a large thriving port city.

I know what I'm trying to say but as usual I am not conveying it very well.

In short...I'm a crap multitasker...background noises will drive me nuts, if i am trying to do something and I will often shout...I can't hear myself think here. I always wondered why strangers would say things like 'cheer up, it may never happen' when actually I was quite happy and didn't ask for them to volunteer unwanted suppositions.

Having to change my routine at short notice will throw me into turmoil, which is mostly likely to result in an anxiety attack or a temper tantrum.

I have been told I'm rude, ...sometimes I am and I probably meant it, but for the most part I'm usually left thinking...that wasn't rude.

I want to be able to say....This is me, this is the way my mind works... its not a flaw it's just the way I am, deal with it or go away.

P.s argggggh to movie makers who added the sounds of kissing as slobbery, sucking, face eating in their films...those noises make me chunder.

I finally figured it out after reading John Elder Robinson's book. I had always read the more sensational aspects, like hand flapping and rocking, and since I never did any of those things, figured that left me out. I knew I was different from the beginning of memory, but since I started school at four, had alcoholic parents, moved 13 times before finishing high school, and had a genius level IQ, thought that explained it. Lots of therapy, which gave me bipolar dx...wish it were bipolar, those guys have fun at least some of the time (just a joke...gallows humor) My all time favorite therapist recommendation was to "go out, meet people, join groups, volunteer." All that led to was more and deeper depression.
The worst part has been making and keeping friends. Doesn't happen. Lonesome. Lots of interests...I laugh about that, since my special interest seems to be having lots of special interests, and I've learned to enjoy doing things alone.
I got a master's degree in a therapy field, and that seems to work fairly well. Lots of demands for therapists, you're expected to lecture, and the relationships are fairly short term. I'm almost ready to retire, but will probably continue working just for the social interaction.
The Asperger dx was a joyful thing. All of a sudden, fault, bad character, willfulness, etc., is not a part of the picture. Considering the hand I was dealt, I've done remarkably well. I like how my brain works. I have a whole new area of stuff to explore, like Amen's work with ADD, nutrition and the brain, etc. And the local Asperger's group has some promise for finding people to talk to.

There is a Dorothy Parker poem that ends with
and now I know the things I know
and do the things I do
and if you do not like me so
to hell, my love, with you

Works for me

Azcate...what kind of therapy do you do. I have been considering a career change...my current career for the past year is scooping dog poo
I do have a BA in psych(worthless degree) and 12 years experience working, (overnights only), with Teenagers in CD treatment and DD clients...both are stressful.

It also took me several unsuccessful psychiatric interventions where they told e how to be happy....from an NT perspective, that were making things worse...socializing does NOT make me happy or recharge my batteries. I would never go to another therapist who did not understand AS or believed that I should "act" more NT .



I love the Dorthy Parker poem

krex
I'm an occupational therapist, but I wouldn't recommend that. I would suggest that you look into the physical therapy assistant programs. They don't take as long or pay as well as a physical therapist, but compared to scooping dog poo, it would be heaven. Lots of science, anatomy, studies of various physical issues like stroke, broken hips, etc. I do home health, which lets me out of the office and the politics. I've managed to stick with one company for over ten years without hitting the rejection wall... they actually kept calling me to come back when I worked in nursing homes for a few years.
Oh, I can sooo relate to socializing not recharging my batteries. I need to recharge AFTER attempting to socialize. Trying to keep from injecting intelligent conversation into "small talk" is exhausting. I retreat to science fiction and fantasy and a glass of red wine after a day of chatter.
Are you getting any rain? I live down the road in Tucson

In terms of careers, I always recommend what I do - to become a college/university professor. My field attracts a lot of aspies (diagnosed or not). You can pick a field which is aligned with your special interests and then talk about it ad nauseum with a captive audience of students.

I spend most of my time in my office (by myself) or lecturing, which is what I prefer. Eccentricity is not only tolerated. It is often even appreciated.

@Azcate..."down the road from the village of the damned?<----(my listed location ). Actually, I live in MN (and it is raining here), but my parents are in a retirement community 20 min south of Tuscan. They let me come to visit every couple of years (thank goodness for frequent flier miles) and I love walking in the dessert looking for rocks. I do get some funny looks when I check in my backpack filled with dessert rocks . One of these days I will go to the huge rock convention there....a girls gotta dream.

I don't know how good I would be at physical therapy. I am a very odd aspie....other peoples pain actually hurts me...a lot. I used to have to do stretching exercises with a couple of CP guys(home health care also) and as soon as they said ow, I would stop. I even hated to give the autistic guy a shower because I knew he hated it.


I probably would have loved to be a "professor" but I'm really not organized or bright enough...plus there is the whole..money thing to go back to school.

Thanks for the feedback, though. (I have stolen another thread...my bad)

What on earth is "stealing a thread?" Unfamiliar with concept.

Tried being a university professor. Unfortunately it was a clinical area, and those pesky students wanted to interact all the time. Just lecturing and research would have been lovely.
Cate

Icarus

Out of the realm of Your thought's dominion
Flung from the nest on improbable pinion
If down the hot sky I burn, fall, die
Yours the laughter from the bastioned hereafter

But if I fly...

Completely off topic...University was disastrous for me. I returned to full time education as a mature student, I was capable of the work but interaction was awful, I became more and more isolated. I was basically the odd one out for being a 37yr old female studying chemistry in a primarily male teenage environ. This increased my anxieties x10. I was also a single mum with 2 children...in fairness to the lecturers most of them were understanding but it seemed it was also a time when they were trying to cast off the image of scientists being insular and were encouraging group activities ..teams...all the things I f***ing well hate.

I had several attempts at returning to university, ( I completed my 1st year), until in the end I had to stop. I was drinking excessively to make me feel more interactive and basically was not functioning well at all.
Now I'm 46 I feel I'm an intelligent person but I have no job and no likelihood of getting a good job. I'm basically unqualified was unable to finish university and do not want to be made to be socially interactive.

My interests keep me busy and I'm never unhappy alone.