Is it REALLY that important to be "diagnosed?"

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This happens often, flashes of no other option. I must be a sunken swimmer, I've been trying to get out for so long, work on my flaws. Sometimes you wonder what pleasure there is left in life to keep going for, it seems too overwhelming all too often. I hope something good happens, something worth sticking around for, because I am not sure I can keep making things happen for myself, desperately seeking incentives. My uncle says "It's funny, the harder we work, the luckier we get."

thats where you are going wrong. work on your strengths and the flaws will not be so obvious.

The biggest reason why I spent the money for an official diagnosis was for protection at work. I've gotten tired of being fired from jobs simply because there were unwritten rules I wasn't aware of. The Americans with Disabilities Act protects me now.

Very good point, it's the overactive sense of inadequacy. Will try to focus upon strengths hence forth.

I have gained a little bit from the label as to government benefits but not by a great deal as it has still been a battle, well up until the point where a rehab psychologist wrote a letter to say that I present well but I do actually get quite overwhelmed with things.

In hindsight I may be just as well off today as having a self diagnosis, the only exception I can think of is to do with going to University as I have found out there is a lot of learning support of offer at some uni's here. I could have got by with the Anxiety diagnosis.

Also it has been a lucky coincidence that most of the govt professionals I've encountered have somehow had enough knowledge to empathise with me (education, their children or a friend's child).

I am imagining that there would be some in the ASD community that would think as Attwood lives here it is some sort of Aspie paradise - I think there is quite a community here of ASD people and the politics that goes along with that but we are still battling away to get acknowledgement at times.

It has been helpful to also realise that Aspie traits run in the family as well and life feels a lot less lonely. To know that there's a reason behind the niggling anxiety and panic attacks as well.

I guess technically I am self-diagnosed. However, next Thursday I will complete the evaluation process (at my expense). I simply need to know that my whole effed-up life isn't just because I'm the emotionally detached overly analytical a-hole arrogant elitist people tend to think I am. Either I'm an Aspie or I'm an anti-social prick.

Last edited by NocturnalQuilter on 10 Oct 2008, 6:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I chose to be evaluated last week because I wanted to be certain and not guess. Now I can work to improve upon my life because I've a starting point instead of just assuming I know. Also, I was diagnosed with disthymia which I never would have known about without the evaluation. Great evaluation and great decision. Life is getting better.

You're a mirror of me in thought and decision. I told my wife before the evaluation that there had to be a reason that I was a socially inept as*hole other than I chose to be one. My life has been relatively effed-up as well, at least I know why now.

I am in the process of negotiating an evaluation....

(I have a discount of $150.00 so far).....now have to set the date....hopefully in November....have to save the $$ and the gas $$.

My present therapist knows the individual I am going to see and says he is very good in his field and knowledgable with aspie adults.

For me: this will be extremelly important....on all the levels already discussed....plus I hope it will set me free from feeling that I am a complete failure....because of the way my life has been....because of the many opportunities I have lost (because of the way I am)....at least I will (hopefully)......have peace.....(double-cross-fingers)....okay....

I just realized that's a little "pie-in-the-sky"....I guess maybe will be finally able to unload some of the "guilt" I've been carrying around for years...

and learn how to be pro-active in achieving.....peace.

oh.....and (I know this sounds like an afterthought....but it isn't)..........because the most important thing of all to me:

when it's all official....I will be able to step outside of my (doubt-box).....and into a think outside the box of......

contributing (in my own unique-way) to really help....others

(right now I'm stuck)

It can be in order to get certain benefits.

Sometimes I would like to explain to people why I am acting certain ways without feeling like I am lying in the process...Like when I get too overwhealmed and/or confused and/or rattled or have a meltdown...it is nice to be able to use more definitive terminology than "I have neurological issues"...as often these people who might witness are strangers, and have no idea what is going on with me when something like that happens.

Not that I would use that as an excuse all the time...only on special occasions when it is particularly bad...

I'm having that the should I shouldn't I thought process at the moment.

With all the stuff I've read it's pretty obvious to me. My wife is reading "Alone Together: Making an Asperger Marriage Work" by Katrin Bentley and she's finding it hilarious that its so similar to us. She's also been a lot more relaxed with me and we don't argue much at all. We never used to argue a lot by any stretch of the imagination but it's even better now we both have this understanding.

It has explained so many things about why I behave the way I do, I can't imagine not being positively diagnosed.

I have that nagging thought that until its diagnosed it isn't real though and I wouldn't want to portray myself as someone I'm not. I also wonder if it would be easier to get a diagnosis performed on my daughter, who I have some suspicions about, if I get diagnosed as its supposedly hereditary.

Try reading "Aspergers in Love" and see if you can see your wife in that one.

The other "marriage" and "relationship" books are a bit one sided - stereotyping the man as AS and the woman as NT.

Personally, I think you need only going to the doctor if you are sick, injured or dying. For all the reasons stated above about insurance, jobs, etc, I would prefer not to be diagnosed. Why would I need to? What would it give me other than a report in my medical history telling me something I already know, and probably have far more experience with than the local doctor (both professionally and personally, I worked with profoundly autistic adults and children for over 5 years).

I don't want protection from the disability act, because I'm not disabled, or differently abled, or anything like that. OK, so I'm not "normal" and there's things I don't understand. I know more than a few Polish people who have moved to N Ireland to work, and there's a lot in our culture over here, a lot of unwritten rules and terms that aren't generally taught in English classes. Do they need to be diagnosed and registered as Polish?

Wait until you are over 40, and have been trying to find more than temp work for over 8 years because not only does AS make it more difficult to do the job search, you don't fit into any of the EEOC check boxes.

At least having a diagnosis allows you to compete on a playing field that has been "leveled" against college educated, not yet senior, white guys.