I don't know anyone to invite to my wedding

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I've been feeling quite stressed about this lately.

My fiancee is an introvert but he still has lots of friends and people that he's kept in touch with from high school, travelling, work, etc.

I told him I would prefer a registry wedding, just us, and he said that's no problem. But I know he really wants a ceremony/reception/some kind of party. I'm not good at picking up on interpersonal cues, but I definitely sensed
disappointment from him.

I feel selfish. I wish there was a way to accomodate both our preferences. I'm really looking forward to getting married. But I can't have a wedding if I don't have anyone to invite.

His friends and family already think I'm strange. I don't want them to know I don't have any close friends.

When is the wedding? How much time do we have to work on this?

Where do you live? I'll come, if it's in my area

How many of your own relatives would you expect?
If you have a bunch of them, maybe no one will notice that you haven't included friends?

I would be in the same boat as you also, if I ever decided to get married. Most of my family is just as strange and awkward as I am, and not really that close, so I don't think it would be a very good experience. Also, I do have friends, but not that many really close friends That I could invite. If it ever comes to it, I would prefer that it was short and sweet, with a small group of people.

You guys seem to want different things. Are you sure it's the right thing to do?

I'm sure some of the folks here would be able to make up the numbers for you.

Can you invite your parents, your siblings, and your relatives to your wedding?

Do you have any friends you can invite?

Two questions:

1. How close do you live to Disneyland?

2. May I be the one to give the bride away?

Everyone.....thank you for your replies. They were really helpful.

If the wedding actually happens, you are all welcome to come!! I'll keep you all posted on details.

Some more information.....

My fiancee is Japanese and we live in Japan now. We'd like to get married as soon as possible. I'm Australian, and we're moving back to Australia together in a few months. There are 2 options for a wedding.

1. Japan.
In this scenario, the guest list would include his family and friends, and probably just my parents.
This scenario would ultimately be the best, because my current status as an expatriate would help to explain the absence of friends. Due to the costs and logistics of international travel, I could easily justify having a small guest list. However, we'll only be in Japan for 2/3 more months so it will be difficult to arrange it all in such a short time. Even my parents couldnt come with such short notice.

2. Australia.
In this scenario, his family and a couple of his good friends would come to Australia for the wedding. I could definitely count on my core group of relatives to come (ie, the annual family Christmas party crowd), but no friends that I'd feel comfortable asking. Even though he only spent one week in Australia a few years ago, he still has more friends in Australia than me. So they would probably come too. I feel that this scenario, while being the most practical, is the one that would particularly highlight my lack of friends.

Option #3.
Not having a wedding. Or just semi-wedding at registry office with both pairs of parents present. But this is the one that makes me feel the most selfish. If he says he doesnt mind a registry wedding, should I just go ahead on that basis? I think he really wants a bigger wedding, but maybe I misread that feeling too.....

I was recently married and we held a simple ceremony on the beach with just my husband and I with the officiant. I thought it was relaxing and refreshing compared to the uncomfortable "stage" weddings can be (I'm divorced and have done the "traditional" wedding with my first marriage, which was an uncomfortable nightmare-- I don't like large groups). I didn't have any friends to invite either then-- at the time, it bothered me also a bit, but now that I am older, I am comfortable in who I am and that I don't have close friends doesn't bother me (but that's just me though, it seems to bother you and I think it's wonderful that others here have offered to attend your ceremony to make you feel better). =)

1. Right now, I'm really close to Universal Studios Japan! Not exactly Disneyland, but close enough. I've started thinking that's a really good idea!! !!

2. Thank you so much! I'm not on great terms with my family, and actually they don't know I'm getting married yet, so I don't know what their reaction will be. I'm just assuming they'll come. I'll keep you posted on the details, and if it actually happens, and if we can sort out the logistics, then I would love for you to give me away! Even if the distance proves too challenging, we could set up a webcam/virtual wedding..................!

Why not get married in Japan then? Your reason of being an ex-pat sounds reasonable and sensible and I for one would readily believe the absence of family members and/or friends in a situation like that.

If this sounds too nosy, please forgive me and disregard my questions. Does your fiance know of your undiagnosed AS? Does he speak good English or you good Japanese? I have reasons for asking this and I'll elaborate further if you'd like me to.

Congratulations on the upcoming marriage.

Oops. I forgot. Congratulations! !

The wedding in Japan sounds best.
Why haven't you told your parents? Hurry up.
Then you can ask for their opinion. Not on the Aspie stuff, but I'm sure you can think of other reasons for considering Japan. Maybe some religious or cultural thing... The point is that there's a preference, and you want to know what Mom thinks. The sooner they know, the more likely they are to find a way to get there.

Thank you. I've told him about AS. He didnt understand so well at first, but over time we've talked about it more and he told me that he understands that I have a different approach in terms of communication and perception, and how that affects my social life. Its something he's still getting used to, and I know sometimes I really manage to hurt him with my words/actions, but more and more we have a better understanding of each others situation. I can speak enough Japanese to get through basic conversation with his friends/family, but I'm not able to have a serious complex discussion in Japanese. His English is about upper-intermediate level, and we usually communicate in English. We can talk about most complex things without using a dictionary a lot of the time. Recently I noticed that he ordered a bunch of books about neurology, brains and communication (in Japanese), which I thought was really cool, because he it means he's trying to understand more.

Further elaborations are appreciated, if you have time!

I'm off to work now, but I'll be back to this forum later.

Some Japanese come here for their wedding because they want the big white western fantasy wedding. ugh. I wonder if that's what they've got in mind.

Yeah tell your parents ASAP.

He loves you for you, not your number of friends.



I don't think he'll care if you don't have non-family attend. And, if you have it in Japan, you have a perfect excuse if only a few people (or no people!) you invite show up, since everyone will assume that your friends couldn't come all the way from Australia.

Make him in charge of the reception...costwise. So, you have nobody to invite...say your closest, "invitable" friends are all out of state or something. If his family picks up the tab, they'll be glad if you have less people to invite. Don't sweat it. Get married and have a good life already!

If I had something to wear, I'd go to I want to make this kid happy.