How have you dealt with your anger?

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Do work on it. I don't mean to cause unnecessary worry without giving advice... but it looks like I'm going to anyway.

All I want to say is that I still have a terrible relationship with my father due to his anger. I haven't lived with him for a few years- I'm 21 now- and it seems to help. I'm hoping it'll get better as time goes on. I still love him and wish I could feel more positively about him, but his behavior throughout my childhood simply prevents that from happening at the moment. Unfortunately, it's in the nature of us to get upset over trivial little things. Yes, you know you shouldn't be flipping out over the bread bad twist-tie, but that sort of realization only seems to bring on unproductive feelings of guilt.

I don't have much else to say. It feels bad to say "yeah, it's as bad as you think" without offering a solution.

The really cruel part of it all is that, as the kid, you only start to empathize and feel sorry for your parent's anger when you find yourself flipping s**t over an incorrectly-prepared hamburger.

Sometimes my anger makes me want to explode. But I never ever want to go to jail. I take "Super B vitamins that I buy at Wal Mart. Vitamin D pills can help too.

The problem with me is that I'm so passive, that I won't get mad until after the fact, sometimes I react by trying to feign anger, but that's the most ineffective approach I've tried. I've destroyed a laptop, cellphone, part of my car interior, and lost countless hours of sleep over it. People just say "you need to deal with your anger" but how can they even know the extent of it, anger is a subjective experience.

I go to the gym on a near daily basis, and take zoloft. Those two measures are extremely effective, they aren't foolproof, but I'm glad I have them as resources. Social networks aren't as effective for anger, when I'm mad, I don't want to talk, I just want to smash.

Depends on the degree of anger. Typically, easy to suppress and deal with it at a later time/date.

Weekends are good for that. Intense physical activity such as mountain biking, or hiking. You just push yourself until you can't go any more. Same thing with doing things obscenely stupid like hiking in the woods at night with mountain lion alerts going.

Daily, you find a minor outlet. Martial arts was a decent solution for the years I did it.

Something which helps focus your attention helps. Sig pistol (<20 yds), ruger rifle (<100 yds) and AR long gun (<600 yds). Did archery, too, but watching things explode helped more.

Then there's always the pissing off other people to help. Online games, traffic or just general CS reps who get in your way.

But above all, being able to control the external expression of it is paramount.

Anyone here having lots of trouble with anger, go and see a doctor for testing. They can check for all kinds of vitamin levels in your blood. I'm very very low on vitamin D.

I get angry easily and often, but my anger is never explosive, it's, especially lately, a very cold anger. I guess ultimately I'm angry at life, the world and myself, so there's always lots of anger just beneath the surface. So while I never explode in anger, I'm very unforgiving. I guess I became this way because I've always felt alone against the world in my anger - if there's just one of you and you're up against everybody else, you can't win, hence learned to contain my anger. When there are opportunities for revenge, I take them, a trait of which I'm not proud. For example there's this girl that, one time I was talking to her (asking her perfectly harmless questions about a trip she'd gone to) retreated from me as if in fear. I don't think it was a deliberate insult, but it still angered me. A few days ago, while walking along with another guy, I saw her, at night, walking down the street alone. I walked faster until we caught up with her, and I tapped on her shoulder and said her name - exactly as I expected, she was so startled she nearly had a heart attack.

Today I became angry because someone invited most of my department to a house-warming party (including people who are away on holiday) but not me - I only found out because someone who talked to me to get information about something else asked me in passing if I was going. I could have gone with this person, but I'd rather not go where I'm not invited rather than be there on sufferance. It angered me because not only because I was one of the minority of colleagues excluded, but because it's happened a number of times here - everyone gets invited except me, and when I do get invited it's just out of politeness rather than because anyone actually wants me there.

Use to try and attempt suicice now I've been ODing on a medication more than usual, need to get off thougyh. I realize I have purpose for other living beings beside myself especially those unwanted by society because of their self-pity.

I've realised through therapy that I still have anger from my past. I finally admitted to myself that I sometimes felt angry with girls, whom ignore my romantic woos or advances and don't respond or react at all, like I don't exist. It was like, why won't you even tell me to f*** off? There was one time when a girl did make clear in no uncertain terms that she did not return my feelings, and only wanted to be friends. And I was fine with that. When women imply "You're a good person but no, I'm just not interested" I listen and accept it. When they discounted me (completely ignore me) I felt angry.

spend 10 minutes in direct sunlight. 15-20 if cloudy.

you have to move from rigid attitudes to attiudes of flexibility, and a bias towards love. T=he other person might be right! You may have an irrational belief here. Albert Ellis (REBT) works. Very best, JC
http://unlearningasperger.blogspot.com/ ... brain.html

When there's injustice I get very angry or explosive.
If someone's messing with me I get "quiet angry".
If someone truly hurts me I will not speak to that person unless it's family.

I had a huge fight with one of my brothers, he made me very disappointed. I even ran away and stayed at a friends house until my brother left my home. We were suppose to have fun that weekend, he misjudged one of my reactions and kicked my door in. He came at me, ripped my headphones off (I was playing electric guitar), so I threw him to the floor and held a firm grip on his arms and stared into his eyes. Then I ran out, he jumped at my legs, so I dragged him to the door until I got loose. He yelled my name, I just ran. So he ran after and we started talking, well I was yelling. He never got close to me because I told him I would beat him down to the ground if he touched me. So he left, and I went to my friends house for 2 days. The friend provided food and shelter. Every time I see him I remind him of how thankful I am, he showed a great deal of courtesy and friendship those days.

Then we became friends.

Second time he came at me he was drunk, and I was making a joke. I told him he had a "life crisis" due to his age. He didn't take it so well, so I apologized and explained what I meant. But he kept coming at me. I sad "enough you idiot" and pressed stop, we were in a bus. I stepped out of the bus, so did he. He started telling me things, like I should get a job and stop being such a f*****g loser. So I became furious as hell, hit him with the skateboard and he just kept on laughing. Then as we came home, he went to our mother, I said I won't get in unless he's away from the door. So he told me to f**k off, or well "f**k you, Markus!" Next day I apologized if I said anything rude, he sat quiet.

Then we became friends.

These two stories was our reality during a brief period of time. I think there was something going on in his life that I did not know of. He's a really nice person and I love him very much. If this would have been any other person I would never speak to that person again, not ever.

Lol. I forgot to write how I actually deal with my anger. Sorry!!

In my younger days I could easily get very angry, mostly because I thought people mistreated me. In my older days I've somehow managed to develop a "stop"-button. As my emotion runs deep and flows to the surface it sort of pushes back automatically. As this happens I start reasoning instead. It's nice growing old (even though I'm not that old, but it's nice not being a teen).

I rarely feel anger. It's a very uncomfortable feeling for me and it's not one that I'm used to processing. I don't feel hatred. I've never experienced that before and I'm a very forgiving person, sometimes to a fault but it's just the way I am. But when the emotions start to swell, I go for a walk, I journal, and I immerse myself in music. I've always been able to express myself better with music than anything else. So the lyrics have to be specific. It's like they're saying what I'm trying to say. I can't push things down. I have to feel it as it comes and ride the wave, so to speak, in order to feel whole again. I can shut off my my emotions for anything except hurt and anger. Those are the two that I just have to ride out when they happen and I can't function until it's been resolved.

Mh! I can relate to using music as a way of expressing true emotions. I used to write a lot, but I fell into the well of instrumental music and found that notes alone had a deeper meaning, in a philosophical way.

You speak of specific lyrics, could you be more specific? Hehe. When I think of specific lyrics, I think that you write lots of detail and though it's kind of concrete it's rather vivid, it's art so it's hard to escape the vivid imagination that drives it.

Anger is a very uncomfortable feeling, I actually hate the feeling, probably because of the fear it inflicts. It's not a very forgiving feeling. I don't "feel" hatred, I don't hate. But I get angry and if I find a source that drives that to the surface I dismiss it.

For me, anger is the only emotion that I feel very strongly. My other emotions are pretty flat. I don’t get too happy or too sad, but I do get very angry and sometimes it’s nice to feel something. I imagine that when I get angry, I probably feel, physiologically, the way some NTs feel when they’re very happy of very sad. It’s not about power for me, but about feeling connected to the way I imagine the rest of the world feels sometimes. I’ve also noticed that when I’m charged up about something, like in a heated discussion over politics with my hubby, that I’m able to focus much better and seem to have all of my faculties about me. If I’m disinterested in something, though, I feel like a dullard. Of course, anger is very tiring and disruptive, so I spend most of my days feeling like a dullard. =)

As for dealing with my anger, I don’t do that very well. I was raised to keep my anger hidden away from people and to not express it. I think this was a mistake because, when used the right way, expressed anger can be tool used to make things right through confrontation. I suck at confrontation and either avoid it or back down when an opportunity presents itself. That leaves me feeling pretty helpless, which only compounds my anger. I’ve been working on expressing myself in an effort to dissipate my anger, rather than letting things fester, but as I mentioned above, anger is what I feel very strongly, so sometimes I hang on to it for the thrill of the adrenaline rush it brings. It’s a day-to-day process for me and one that I don’t want to see repeated with my son. I have to make a point to let him yell when he gets frustrated and to not scold him when he does.

I will typically shut down and leave the area. If im at home, my destination is my computer and whatever game will relieve the stress. If its not homw, then i try to find the least crowded spot, sit down, close my eyes, and try to shut out the world.