Should an Aspie adult have children?

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Xinae -
You sound like a good parent just by knowing your flaws. I thinl nearly EVERY parent has faults. Knowing about them and caring about them means you are a hell of a lot better than a lot of parents to start with. And wanting and loving your kids is the most important. As long as they know that your are sorted.

There are ways we can all improve. I am starting the journey myself, and I am dreading the school aspect of things...

There is no definitive answer to this question. One AS and one NT parents could work out ok fine with having children. I believe it all comes down to whether the family is financially stable. The NT parent will have to emotionally support their AS partner as well as the children. Short term it may work out well but long term it is uncertain. Having a 10 to 15% chance of an Autistic child with one AS parent.

last thing I'd want in this life is children
horrid little creatures running around, and me being blamed for their behavior
no thank you

I love children, but I'm too much of a rebel to have a husband or children. I'm sure that their Grandma (my mum) wouldn't appreciate having little Mods and punks running around her house.

And easier to understand.

I understand and felt the biological urge however fate [fortunately] conspired against me and I am happily and thankfully child free. They are noisy, puzzling and demanding, and there are too many humans for how we live in the west anyway... peace j

depends on the aspie and the circumstances.

I probably am on the spectrum, and I probably am pretty close to the NT spectrum as well.
I'm currently au pair, it's stressful and I only have to be responsible for the kids throughout a normal working week. But I'm learning. Not too long ago I had days when I found it too difficult to come up with a mental blueprint of, for example, a dish I had only cooked once or twice before* and now I manage to cook such dishes while entertaining a 5-yo kid (who loves to 'help') and keeping her out of danger.

I'll learn. I decided to learn and train and fight until I can provide for myself in a world that seems to spin too fast.
Once I meet my own expectations, I won't be handicapped in regards to raising children. And if then I were to find an NT man for a stable relationship, I'd love to raise children. Whether biologial or adopted or even both, I can't tell yet. I would not have biological children with a man with Asperger's.

*why, yes I do expect myself to be able to do that without referencing to a recipe because when I'm feeling well, I can - just right now realized that that might not be a reasonable expectation

This is something i've been wrestling with for awhile now. My husband wants kids... i'm ugh. I think I would be ok with having one but he wants more than one. I'm not comfortable having any until we settle the issue. I've got alot of hang ups about the entire thing really so at times it can be really frustrating that he won't comprimise considering that me even entertaining the idea of having a child is a big comprimise on my part. Bah, humbug. Even still... the idea alone is exhausting... pregnancy, doctors visits, mood swings, strech marks, child birth, having to accept and love a unforchunate looking alien baby (sorry, newborn babies look weird to me), feeding, diapers, breast feeding (that one puzzles me)... ugh... and then the other 17+ years of work. It's exhausting just to think about.

Even my dogs can be to much for me at times but when that happens I can atleast leave the house or just go in the other room and shut the door for afew hours, I don't think you're allowed to do that with children.

... after all I went thro in my life when i had to be among others ie until self employment 25 yrs ago .. only one answer .. NO

I would never put another being thro that.

If I get married, I will definitely have children. I see no problem with a parent with AS as long as they are either capable of taking care of the child or have a strong partner who can take care of the child (especially true if the guy with AS works full time).

I also figure I've got my mom to help look after any future offspring, and she's already dealt with one AS child.

I know a guy with AS who wound up having a child with AS. He's actually a better father than his NT wife is a mother. Both the father and child are very bright, they just lack in the social department like most Aspies. (A lot of Aspies/AS people seem to be good with kids, better than they are with adults and especially teenagers).

I am the father of a daughter, my ex had her when I was very young (my ex was a few years older than me) and she lives with me 24/7 and has never met her mother.

It's hard but not because I'm an aspie, just hard in general I think it can be difficult and challenging to be a parent even when you're not an aspie.

Se allows me the chance to almost embrace my little kid tendencies, the drive for knowledge has seen her able to skip grads (because I do push that on hr slightly) and kids adapt to what they know, s far as shes concerned everything I do/say/ is normal.

I'm an undiagnosed aspie but I am pretty sure I'm on the spectrum. I only realized this recently, after my wife and I had twins via IVF. They're three now and both seem to be NT. They show sympathy to each other, are very physically affectionate, and seem to be communicating normally for their age. My son CAN get into extreme focus on something he's interested in but it doesn't seem to be a problem so far. Having said that, I think I probably will have to talk to daycare so that they can keep an eye on his behaviour in group situations.

I have to admit that I worry about them more now.

On top of that, I've had problems dealing with the stress of two toddlers, particularly when they start getting tired and cranky. The noise levels get to me and make me prone to meltdowns, and having kids is hugely disruptive to my need to have stability and an orderly life. I'm trying to let my wife deal with those situations as much as possible and to give myself permission to say that I need help. So far it seems to be working but it's very early days.

I'm not sure that I would have them again if I could use a time machine to go back and make the decision all over again, but having said that, I love them dearly and there is nothing that warms my heart more than my daughter wanting a lengthy snuggle with me first thing in the morning.

They can if they want to. I would love to be a mother, but that isn't going to happen for quite a while.

I have 4 children. The oldest has Asperger's ADD, and ODD. The youngest has Asperger's. the two in the middle are NTs.

I think having Asperger's myself has helped me deal with the challenges of my Aspie children. The oldest was the most difficult, because ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) is a struggle beyond words, but I was not an emotional nutcase, so being logical helped. Today, she understands her disorder, and deals with it well. She is quite fun to be around.

My youngest, whom I homeschool, is flourishing. He is the kindest child I have ever known.

The two NTs are just as delightful, and very understanding.

I think that this is a decision everyone should make for themselves.

Personally, I would like to have children, but I don't think that I could cope with them growing up and going to school and then being teenagers. I wasn't a normal teenager. I didn't do and wasn't interested in regular teenage things, so I don't think I would be able to support my children through this difficult phase. It worries me. Mostly because my parents don't relate well to people and gave me the most mental advice, which usually ended up getting me in more trouble that it would have if they had left me to it.

I'm an Aspie with 2 kids on the spectrum. It seems that once they hit junior high, the public school's attitude did a 180. Suddenly, they were total targets and considered "bad eggs", and I had to try to defend them. Frankly, being the sort of Aspie I am, I'm not very well equipped to do that. I have soooo much stress. The difficulties I had with them when they were little were quite small in comparison (even though those difficulties were NOT small). I'm so glad my children exist, because I love them-- but if I'd known then what I know now, I'm sure I would've been too freaked at the thought of having kids to actually do it.