Should an Aspie adult have children?

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I, like Catlady, rely heavily on my husband for help, even though he's the kids' stepdad. He's not exactly typical, but I don't think he's autistic like the kids and me. Problem there is that he has no social ability either, because he's very shy and avoidant of such things for the most part. I guess it's a good thing I didn't end up raising the NT kid or he'd be up the proverbial creek without a paddle (my ex has custody of the only NT in the bunch). As it is, the 2 we have try to do a little bit of sports and other activity, and we don't navigate it very well, I'm afraid. Difficulties arise socially (always!) and all we can really do is let it fall as it may. I am very conscientious about doing my best to advocate for my kids with the school, but when it comes to making social connections with other parents I fall short, and have no real advice to offer my kids with their friendships, either, other than what is right and what is wrong.

Consider your genetic predispositions before deciding. I myself have dispositions in favour of developing depression, anxiety disorder, and PTSD (not to mention ASD).

Also, if you are raising the child yourself, are you skilled enough to be a good parent, and can you emotionally handle what having a child / being a parent involves?

Lastly, when you have a child, quickly identify your child's temperament, and seek treatment if your partner has post-natal depression. I state this for personal reasons, I was unable to bond properly with my mother because of untreated depression, and my parents made poor decisions regarding my upbringing.

I just cant do it, to myself or a child that might some day not be. However if "you" (being fellow aspies) can more power to you. All I really know is that my mom and especially my dad want grand-children. I can barely take care of myself let alone I baby, it just would not be anyone evolved.

I see absolutely no reason why Aspies shouldn't have kids. My wife and I have a beautiful four year old girl, and no one can tell me we shouldn't have had her just because of my Asperger's. Because she is herself autistic, she has had her meltdowns in public, but nothing we can't handle. There have been NT's who have raised question not only about her, but also about our parenting. But that's their problem, not ours.

-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer

we have 2 boys, one has moderate to severe autism. im self-dx aspie, my wife claims to be NT

if you can see a geneticist they can tell you the % chance of you and spouse having a child with an asd based on probability. We did this when we where considering a third child and it took AGES to get in to see them. After much blood testing etc and discussion the chances where in the 10-15% range and i was the lucky recipient of a vascectomy shortly afterwards.

having said all that i wouldnt change anything

Never been a parent in any way, shape, or form. Saw it as more from economic reasons than anything else. Average child in the USA costs at least $200,000 from the time of birth to graduating from college. I could use that money in other ways and not have a child. Sorry if it sounds like a cold answer (as if I don't care).

Not cold, Jazz, just smart. To your point I add the fact that it is absolutely thankless much of the time.

I do want children someday. Maybe it's because I want to carry on my legacy but I don't want to...corrupt my family tree. If I ever do get married, I hope it will be to an NT, because I think that might decrease the chance that my children will have AS. I don't think I would be able to take it if my children had Aspergers or Autism. I just don't think I could handle that, knowing what kind of future lay ahead for that child. I don't want a child to have to go through that. But at the same time, I think I'd make a decent dad.

I never want children and wish to have a tubal ligation as soon as I'm old enough. I find the physical aspect of pregnancy disgusting (a parasite living inside of my body for nine months), don't really like children, believe my genes aren't all that special, and have very low maternal instinct (I watch my friend's child, who is four months old, on occasion, and never can really tell why she's crying or anything).

Above all, I don't feel it's right for me to risk having a child since I have AS. I wouldn't condemn others for doing so, that's their decision, but I feel that my suffering as a child and my problems are reason enough to not risk a child having to suffer with that again. If I had a kid with autism or AS, I don't think I would be able to forgive myself for putting those problems on them. It has made my life difficult enough, why would I risk making another life hard?

Anyone could have an Autistic kid. If you really want some, I don't think this should hold you back.
Personally, when I think about the possibility of producing an Autist, I am a little put off. But when I think about it, who's more suited to raise an Autist than another Autist? Surely we could relate to an Autistic child far more easily than an NT parent?