Dealing with Rage as an Adult

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That has probably been the most effective strategy, I've found - managing my environment, also recognising triggers. For example, now I know noise and movement around me stress me out (didn't put 2 and 2 together before I knew about AS), even though I may not recognise feeling stressed, I can do something appropriate to manage the environment, so I don't end up lashing out at someone. I don't always remember to do this.

same here. i'm making a constant effort to recognize the source of things and depersonalize - if i'm going to be angry, be angry at the noise / movement / overstimulation in general (the real source of the problem) instead of people around me; and avoiding argument by separating ideas from people, since another big trigger for me is when someone's point of view differs from mine on a topic i feel strongly about.

that and constant awareness that though it is my responsibility to communicate and manage it to whatever degree i'm able, that it's not my fault.

as such i'm finally beginning to feel a little better, as it gradually makes more and more sense. the trouble is the same, but hopefully i will take it out on fewer people in the future.

Thats's a good idea. I wonder if I can learn to do that. How do you do it - is it self-talk?



Yes - understanding where the rage is coming from (neurology), has made me feel better than just thinking I'm a crap person, and that in turn encourages better behaviour, since as someone previously said, being negative actually makes seems to cause worse behaviour.

An amusing note about self talk, I read somewhere that if you are going to use self-talk, make it a pleasant, seductive or kind voice, instead of a haranguing nagging voice, since you are more likely to respond to this tone! Funny, but no doubt true

i don't know. it's still in experiment stage. ..
so far i've succeeded in still being irritable but simultaneously apologizing. i stormed out of a job a few weeks ago that i really couldn't afford to lose, so we'll call this depersonalization beta. i won't sell it to you until i've fixed all the bugs ..

i'm just thinking about it as it happens (if i can). paying direct attention to my level of frustration as it goes haywire vs. what's going on around me, picking out that it's the sound of someone's voice and the effort it takes to respond rather than what they're asking, that kind of thing. because deep down i know i'm not inclined to be irritable - i can almost feel something engulfing me at times, like someone is putting a bag over my head or something. hard to explain. but it's a bit of progress, because i used to just snap at people and assume if i felt like snapping at them they must have done something to legitimately cause it. but there was never any logic to it. i just left it unexamined because i had no idea what the real answer might be. i just had that feeling of engulfment. it never occurred to me it might be coming from noise, or the effort to process anything. but once it did occur to me, it was very obvious.

what's interesting is that to counter anxiety a lot of people recommend mindfulness. not good for me - the more i stay "present" the more intolerant i am of noise, etc. for me spacing out periodically is essential.

Exercise doesn't do much for me to reduce anger. I've found myself becoming enraged while heavily exhausted from physical exertion. In fact, the more tired and worn out I feel the more likely I'll start having my black moods where all I can feel is intense self-loathing and hatred. I get so depressed that all I want to do is shout and snap at people. Everything irritates me and everything hurts. It's like my whole body is a huge bundle of throbbing nerves. No matter how exhaused and sluggish I feel one moment the anger can still rise to the surface right through it.

Hi everyone,
Thanks for the thread, and best wishes. There's a possibly helpful tactic to use on tough days near the beginning of
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/ze_fr ... yroom.html