IF I have AS, will my Kid have it?

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There is evidence it is genetic. I'm pretty positive somebody in my family was autistic and that I inherited it. Back when they were kids, though, it wasn't recognized widely and I'm sure, say for my mother, it was diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenia, generalized anxiety with obsessive compulsive disorder, and borderline personality disorder instead.

For my fiance who I believe has Asperger's symptoms, his father compiles and collects lists of lists of lists he needs to make (no joke) about things he needs to get done. He lists those lists on a calendar along with events that hangs on his wall. He has file cabinets of folders filled with lists and documents concerning pretty much everything that pertains to his house and work. While he gets objectively how to deal with people as far as manners, he seems to have no ability to empathize or relate to people whatsoever. On the flipside, his mother is quite similar and is a member of Mensa; she shows similar symptoms to this as well. I'm pretty positive they both have something along a spectrum disorder that he inherited.

That being said, my daughter is showing some signs of Aspergers and she isn't even two years old yet. She has a higher chance of having it because I have it, and therefore it runs in her genetic code. Whether it manifests or not is yet to be seen, but she does have a more significant chance of being diagnosed with it (barring that women are diagnosed less often and tend to fly under the radar; we're speaking objectively).

I was referring to the Aspergers system. All I have seen is NT division on the subject and financial cutbacks that have bled progress dry.

You've lost all credibility with this insanely stupid remark. My God! How the bloody hell can an Aspie help themselves when things are stacked against them from the moment they are born. NTs helping us? Don't make me laugh. They have too many things of their own to deal with. Furthermore, half of them are scum anyway. A lot of posters here state that opinion too. Plus, take into the number of suicide threats on this site and you have your answer. NO ONE WITH AS IS ACTUALLY HAPPY.

I have aspergers, my dad does too. His father - long dead now - showed many of the attributes. I think my sister and brother are both NT.

One of my two sons appears afflicted, the other is normal.

[/quote] NO ONE WITH AS IS ACTUALLY HAPPY.[/quote]

Uuummmm, I am thanks... I got dramas- aspie related and not but generally I'm very happy thanks!

Also craig, perhaps scum isn't quite the right word for NTs... "Emotionally cluttered", "full of sh*t", "misguided" perhaps. But honey, please don't descriminate against those less fortunate than ourselves....

I personally see Aspergers as an evolutionary leap- a return to the survival instinct! After all, we're just animals and decisions based on emotion are not exactly beneficial to the survival of the species, are they? Go figure- we work by logic, 'supposedly' emotionally barren- though every Aspie knows we're not on the inside. We just don't progress through life emotionally. We strive for and make decisions based on logic, understanding, a need for knowledge (wisdom?)... The world however, is run by NTs, us Aspies being anomolied because we are fewer in number- just another minority and stifled in our efforts as a result, busy beating ourselves up for being different- who says it's not the majority who's got NT...? Oh yeah, cos the majority labels right, so THEY must be right? Eehhh... but look at the bloody mess they're making of our planet? And while they're sitting on their butts making more laws and being all PC so they don't HURT ANYONE'S FEELINGS, we all just slowly die together??? Yeah, go the NTs!

Wakey Wakey, it's great being an Aspie, we cut and see straight through all that b.s to the FACTS, whatever 'weird' ways we happen to go about it... and to be fair, we're only 'socially inept' because WEIRDOS make the rules!

And yes, back to the topic... my kid is showing signs of Aspie traits. But he's already decided that this world is beyond help and is planning to start a new (probably Aspie if he knew what it meant) civilisation on Pluto. The location is negotiable (I hate the cold) but known him, he'll probably succeed- he's got a few years yet though, he's only 5!

As for school? Don't even start me! I have an extremely high IQ child well advanced of his age with no desire to socialise with his peers (because he's bored stupid by them)... and yet it's OUR problem and the NT beaurocrats won't even look at advancing him, in fact CUTTING his school hours- NEW TOPIC, should Aspies home school??????? lol

Afflicted? Normal? The only thing your children are afflicted with is a parent who differentiates between the two of them...

No offence.

All the money not spent on therapy and medication gets spent instead on social activities. You would think that just getting kids together with friends wouldn't cost anything. And it doesn't when they are toddlers and can all go to the playground togther. But then they grow out of that and you wind up paying for them to join all sorts of expensive after school activities with their friends. You may not have to pay for therapy but you will have to pay for ChuckECheese and Little League fees and Girl Scout fees and movie tickets and amusement park tickets and on and on and on.

The bottom line is that no matter what your child is like, it costs a bundle of money in ways that you can't really predict. Even if you make a vow never to spoil them, you still wind up paying for all sorts of weird things you never anticipated no matter what their neurology is.

You don't pay for parties every week or every month. Big difference unless you have that many kids and there is a birthday every month in your family (thinking of the Duggers). Therapies are a weekly thing and medications are a monthly thing you pay for. My husband was the one who said NT kids are cheaper and if we have an aspie, it end up costing us more and he said why. Luckily I don't cost a thing except on stuff everyone requires such as food but I am an adult and I choose to not take medication and I am in no therapy.

And I don't think you pay for every time you kid has a game or a class. You pay when you sign them up for activities such as music lessons or softball or baseball or t ball, soccer or art class or pottery or Spanish. Or am I wrong?

My husband and I won't be able to afford parties at other places or amusement parks because tickets are so expensive and I have seen prices on party packages places offer and movies are expensive too so I don't plan on taking my kids to them. There is redbox or movie rentals which is a lot cheaper than paying 30 bucks to see a movie when you can pay $2.50 for when it comes out on DVD at a video rental place here or paying a dollar to rent it from the redbox and return it the next day. My husband and I often argue about these things and I tell him kids don't need this or that to be happy. We can only go to cheap movies or when we have free movie tickets. Not blowing out our budget on fun stuff just so the kid be happy. Plus we have Oaks Park where rides aren't that expensive and you can buy a ride bracelet where rides are unlimited. It's close to 15 bucks. But the fairground a town has up in Washington every August, the ride bracelets are 65 bucks each last time I was there. No way we can a for three of those or more if we have more than one child. I plan on having two the most due to our income.

Heck my brothers had their parties at home, never anywhere else, it was only one time when my family decided to have mine at Chuckie Cheese and it was just us and my aunt and her two kids and my friend.

I have ways with money and how to live. I didn't do much stuff as a kid. My parents had to talk me into things and I only had one party and didn't like it and never had one again and I was still happy. It was my brothers who always had to ask our parents if we can do this or that and I join in. Every time I use this in our argument, he goes I am autistic so that was different and NT kids need those things while I didn't. Heck we didn't do everything when I was a kid and my parents said no to things. I didn't miss not going to places I never been to. They also refused to buy us stuff that was not in their budget and because they didn't want to pay that much money for it so I can say no to my kid because of the cost. My husband and I will probably have another argument there.

Last edited by League_Girl on 17 Sep 2010, 1:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I am actually happy. I careless how much we make and that we live in an apartment and we can't afford lot of things. I can be depressed about my life style and be depressed about the fact I won't be able to give my kid my parents gave me when I was growing up but they had lot of money and my husband and I don't. There won't be lot of going to the movies or traveling or other stuff we all did when I was a kid that cost money. But I choose to not be depressed about it and be happy with what I have. At least we aren't going from paycheck to paycheck.

Not all aspies post suicide threads and I don't know what they say or what the are about because I don't read them. Only way to drive me to one is if I hear there is drama going in there, then I get curious and read it. But sometimes I get bored with it and never finish the thread because it's about suicide is why.

First of all, there are a lot of things you pay for no matter the child's neurology. Kids cost a lot, unless you expect them to grow up without anything. If you expect your kids to only grow up with the essentials and absolutely no luxuries, please do the world a favor and don't have any children. You're too poor.

Why do I say that? Because if a kid gets only clothes and food, excuse me, they'll probably end up not being very bright. You don't account for:

1.) Books
2.) Toys, games
3.) Dolls, actionfigures
4.) Nice shoes they may want
5.) Cellphones
6.) Cable and internet hookup in their room
7.) Furniture and decorations for their room
8.) Wanting money to go see movies with friends
9.) Wanting to go to school dances
10.) Needing money to take someone on a date
11.) Helping out with school functions costs money
12.) All the gas money you'll spend transporting them to their sporting, choir, or band events, friends' houses, girlfriend/boyfriends' houses
13.) Wanting to go on vacation with friends
14.) Wanting to go on spring break--- CA CHING!
15.) Amusement parks, concerts, and other social events

I could continue for pretty much forever. When my dad was alive, he threw money left and right so I could have a normal childhood and he never knew I had Aspergers syndrome. I never attended a day of therepy. He threw money at dances and clothes and books and things that I wanted because that's what you do as parents. I know, I have a daughter. Sorry, if your child is going to have any semblance of a social life in their school, it will require you to dish out of your pocket for it. Kids who are popular are more frequently rich or above-average money than anything else. Kids who are the most unpopular also tend to have the least money, and their parents seem to be the least involved in their schooling (including fundraisers and events). Family is part of what makes a child accepted in school. If your house is too dirty or too uninteresting for him to bring friends over, he won't have many friends. That's why you see healthy sets of friends going over to eachother's houses, getting snacks, playing in the yard, going shopping together, etc. Money, in a capitalist society, makes the whole society on every level go 'round.

That being said, what the hell are you talking about with medication? I don't know anybody with Aspergers that takes medication for it except occasionally antipsychotics for related problems. There's no cure for it. It's a social problem and has to do with hard-wiring. You would get medication, *maybe* for anxiety. Do you think an NT child won't take medication?

Allergy medication
Antibiotics (I took those for 12 months for recurring ear infections)
Pain killers if they break a limb playing with their friends
Insulin if they have childhood diabetes
Antidepressants (a lot of kids now take these)
ADHD medication

I don't take any medication and never did. No more than an "NT" child did. What will it do for me? Solve my problems? Alleviate them? No. My problem requires social therepy. Hey. . . you don't have to pay for therepy to get it!

Schools, when it's caught young, offer therepy. They put them in specialized classes to cater to their learning needs and sometimes the school will be staffed with people certified to help kids on the spectrum. My friend Adam took speech therepy in second grade in the school. And guess what? It's free because it's public school. If they don't? You don't need it. All you need is to talk to the teachers and principal and counselors about the issue and make sure they know to be supportive and encourage the child to make friends. A child is just as well off reading a book about social skills as seeing a therepist for it. I don't intend on going to therepy for anything either.

So where's your reasoning that aspies cost more? My brother in law is neurotypical and he spends two hundred dollars on a pair of shoes his dad doesn't really have. He has a larger wardrobe than all the clothes I've owned since I began high school combined, and more shoes than I could throw a stick at. His dad bought him an expensive cellphone. Guess what? They can't really afford it. But parents do that because kids want things, *ESPECIALLY* NTs.

My point?

Because Aspies actually tend to not be social, it's an advantage that you usually don't have to spend money on school dances, on new clothes, on cellphones, on sporting events, on social events or parties, or spend even a heap on presents. Aspies tend to wear the same type of clothes all the time, they don't really seem to go to school dances or need cellphones just for gossip all the time, they don't tend to be at a lot of parties. You probably won't see someone with Aspergers dressing like my brother in law, or draining a parent's bank account from trying to fit in socially. Aspies aren't concerned with 'fitting in' beyond just blending, because it's against how they're hard-wired.

I don't see your reasoning at all on how Aspies would 'cost more'. I think that's a load of s**t.

By the way, if you're so wretchedly poor you can't go see a movie, you probably qualify for Medicaid to afford therepy and meds you may want to put your child on (not that they would need it) and possibly government assistance for them as well, including Medicare or extra money.

If you're not too poor to afford two kids, or three kids, then you're not too poor period. I have a child and I'm of average money. She's probably an Aspie. I'm not worried about it. At least she'll know. Knowing is most of the battle with Aspergers.

I had therapy and we didn't have to pay for it. I guess we were just lucky.

Actually kids don't need cable and internet in their bedrooms. I have known families in my old neighborhood who had no cable and their kids did fine without it. I didn't have cable and internet in my room growing up. Neither did my brothers.

There are Goodwill stores for books. They don't cost much. Same as resale stores for books.

Families don't need to see movies in theaters and kids don't need that stuff. They can rent new movies. Heck I don't ever go to them. It's rare when we go. I hate the movie ticket prices.

My parents never used money for sponsors. We have cooked stuff for fundraisers though.

We didn't go to very much concerts growing up. Only concerts I have ever gone to as a kid that cost money was seeing The Spice Girls. My parents could have said no to that but dad promised me he would take me to see them if they ever came to Portland so they got us the tickets and only me and him went.

My brothers wanted to go to a race car show and my parents said no and used me as an excuse for us to not go when they could have left me home with a baby sitter. They just didn't want to see the show, period so they used "They will hurt your sister's ears" as an excuse. But yet we went to the one in Montana.

Well I guess I had such bad parents because they didn't always take us to places we wanted to go to. Same as if we wanted to stay in a fancy hotel. They just went "No it's too expensive." They weren't poor, the were frugal and they had lot of bills to pay, the house, two car payments, other utilities and garbage bill. Heck we had the Disney channel for a while and then they canceled it because "it got too expensive" and then we got it again when it finally came to cable as a package than having to pay for it separately.

And my mom never got us new toys. It be rare when she did. We only got new toys when it was our Birthday or Christmas. But she never spoiled us rotten with stuff we wanted. On other occasions she let us get a new toy and that was it. I was happy even though I envied other kids in my neighborhood because their parents spoiled them by giving them whatever they wanted. But yet they never took them anywhere so they were always stuck at home. They never went on trips or went to amusement parks, nothing. There was this one mother who take her kid to McDonalds and that was their special outing. One of my friend's family went to Lake Tahoe every summer and the parents leave their kids in their condo with movies while the gamble. Never took them anywhere there. And when I was in 4th grade, my grade took a trip to Portland and there were actually kids in my grade who had never gone there and it was right across the river from where we lived.

So you see, kids don't need to keep being given new toys all year around to be happy because my brothers and I didn't get them. We only got them on Christmas and our birthday and occasionally but not all the time. Mom always told us we have enough toys at home. My god it never occurred to me to ask my dad if I can get this or that, I only did it when my brothers did it. Plus when we got allowance that was when we got something new. I had a tough mother and I turned out fine. My dad was easy because he was more laid back and said yes more. My NT brother was smart enough to figure out both our parents were different and while mom says no, dad says yes so he learned if he wanted to get what he wanted, he would go with dad when he had to go to the store or run an errand because he knew he let him have a candy bar or something. He asked for little things of course. Not anything that cost big.

Hey my brothers and I didn't have cell phones growing up. We didn't have them in our teens either when we were in middle school or high school. Kids don't need those. I don't even understand why parents let them have them. I know cell phone companies have packages now where people can have more than one cell phone at a lower price for the service so their kids end up getting one. Just my speculation why they would have one now these days. Now I read kids young as nine have them. I saw a discussion about it on babyceneter.

Heck I know another family, my sister in law and she is more poor than us and boy her kids don't have very much stuff and they get bored often and they can never go anywhere because their mother doesn't have the money in gas nor can she afford fun things that cost money. I am sure they can't do school activities either that cost money and she is on programs like food stamps. She was on welfare and I dunno if she still is, she works. I am sure her kids are on the school lunch program. But then she sometimes blows out her budget on things for her kids and then she can't pay her bills so her parents have to for her. Like this summer, she spent money on fireworks instead and my in laws weren't happy about it because they had to pay her bills for her she wouldn't be able to pay because she spent it on fireworks. Also her house is dirty (was dirty but now with my in laws living there, it's cleaner because they clean it) and my niece and nephew still had friends come over. But their carpets are still dirty and the walls. But their home still isn't as clean as ours. I hate dirty homes and can't stand being in them. Of course those kids don't mind it because they grew up that way because their mother never cleans. But I grew up in a clean home because my mom always cleaned.

Hey the more kids you have, the more it costs because you have to buy more food, more clothes, higher electric bill and water, more shoes, more things they need and more Christmas shopping and Birthdays and that is going to take away fun stuff the whole family can afford to do such as going to the amusement park, to movie theaters. Get it? It depends on the income the parents make. But then they qualify more for programs like food stamps so they will have more spending money. Same as having health care for their kids that won't cost them much. But I am not going to keep on having kids just so I can have these things because I don't believe in that stuff. I don't think it's right to keep on having kids just because the gov will pay for it. Two is enough but hey if they can afford another child out of their pocket without having to use programs, go for it. My SIL had two kids and then had her tubes tied because she is one of those people who doesn't abuse those programs so two was enough if she can't afford three kids out of her pocket.

And actually ADHD kids aren't considered NT, same as when they have other mental conditions. Oh BTW did you miss this part in one of my previous posts here:



So no need to repeat something I have already said.

Like I said, it was my husband that said aspies cost more and said because of all the counseling they would need and stuff and therapists. I can remember mine having to pay for my therapies. But when I was in high school their insurance paid for my therapy. Or do you think he just said that to talk me into hoping for an NT child because I said I wanted an aspie kid?

Like I say parents can say 'no' to things that are not in their budget because mine sure did and we turned out just fine.

Understand != Relate



You can pretty much ignore all the responses you got for this question. No one has presented a scientific study. The answers you're getting are attempts to veil "I'm better because I have AS" responses.

My father and grandfather are both clearly aspies, and both my brothers and I are diagnosed. I am chosing not to have children because of the strong genetic pattern that has occurred in my family.

I see.

I've got 2 kids. One with AS and one we think is NT, but she's still pretty young. Both my husband and I may be on the spectrum, but I don't know and don't really care enough to seek a diagnosis. We both share some aspie traits with our son, but I really seem to speak his language, moreso than my husband. Mental illness of all sorts runs rampant in my family and I do think there is some gentic component to it.

As for money needed to raise kids, it doesn't matter if the kid has ASD or not. All kids are expensive, one way or another. That does not, however, mean that financial wealth and stability guarantee good parenting. Poor kids can be just as happy as rich kids IF their parents work hard at always putting their kids best interests first. My husband and I are pretty broke at the moment, but we can and do still take our kids to libraries, playgrounds, museums, etc. So what if they wear second-hand clothing and our family movie nights take place at home with a bowl of microwave popcorn?! My kids don't like big crowds anyway. They have no idea that we're on an absurdely tight budget. You don't need big bucks to make magic happen for your kids.

And we are all pretty happy, Asperger's or not.

That is one of the most positive things that I have read on here in a while!