what happens when it goes pear shaped after 30 years?

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what happens when me AS has been married 30 years to a neurotyp who doesnt get me much at all and I dont seem to be going anywhere in the relationship anymore. Add to that there is 5 children some still dependant on my support. I feel like i have been "single' in that relationship and are feeling very lost and alone Time spent on pluto gets progressively longer energy required to keep focussed in the family events gets progressively more demanding. Do relationships have a use by date I look back count blessings but also think wow whats next what did i miss this time? I dont get it ?

ideas anyone?

I don't know, I have never had a LTR but seeing my sibling's marriages end (not with a bang,but with a whimper) after 25,32 and 35 years i wonder if this isn't more common than not. It's like periodically you have to redefine the whole thing.

I survived seventeen years in a marriage, although the latter parts of that were more endurance than planning for the future.

Now I'm fifteen years into a post child rearing relationship, on the path of which diagnosis has been just one more bump.