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tk5800
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20 Jun 2011, 4:31 am

i am not yet living on my own but i might be forced to move out soon, what little things or big things should i be aware of?

oh, currently the plan (if i am kicked out) is to move in with a friend of mine, he said its fine


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Lahmacun
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21 Jun 2011, 8:56 am

Hi, TK. Moving out is such a big topic, what is it that you're most interested in about from the posters here? If you're moving in with a friend, then I would suggest that you clarify with him/her what exactly "all right" means. Can it be a permanent situation, or are they assuming that you will be there on a temporary basis. And if it's temporary, when do they expect you to have found a new living situation? What chores will you be expected to assume, what will the financial arrangements be, what is their policy about you having guests, kitchen and laundry usage, parking, etc?

If you are moving out on your own, you will need to think about adjustments you are willing to make with regards to your location. If you work, this may be an ideal time to move closer to your job or somehow reduce the commuting costs. Likewise for other places you visit frequently...shops, school, and so on. Many Aspies have trouble maintaining or obtaining steady, good-paying jobs, so we have to economize in other ways. Living simply and frugally is a great way to compensate for low wages and can help reduce a lot of stress.



Marykate
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30 Jun 2011, 4:57 am

It would drive me nuts to live in someone else's place, especially if they are there. Even if you can only afford a studio apartment, do that.
You have the advantage of a door you can lock, of living at your own pace, the pride of independence. No one looking over your shoulder or feeling judged.
You can set up your hobby and only you have to step over it. You can stay up all night watching tv. You can eat what you want and nap when you need to nap. No sharing a bathroom. No house rules.
You will exhale when you can lock your own door.
If the place isnt furnished, you can fine good enough stuff at a thrift store or Craigs list. If its a studio, I suggest a futon bed/couch.
You will still have to deal with apartment complex rules and a landlord but at least they arent in your space.
Since you are hesitating enough to post it as an issue, maybe you are needing and wanting something else besides a new roommate.



Marykate
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30 Jun 2011, 5:04 am

In terms of what you should be aware of..when chosing an apartment, look for a quiet one. Dont get one next to a noisy business. Dont get one near a big box store--they clean their parking lots in the middle of the night and it sounds like a jet on a tarmac. Try to get one on the top story so people arent walking on your head. The trade in carrying up furniture and groceries is worth it. Get one close to work. Maybe near enough someplace interesting you like to go. Set up a good book keeping system and always pay your rent first, your utilities second, other stuff third and your living money last--when you can see how much is left for that.
And look for signs of roaches when you are checking places out.
If it doesnt work out, you can always retreat to a roommate situation. Dont break a lease, though.



MollyTroubletail
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30 Jun 2011, 6:01 am

Living with a friend can be tricky and stressful, even if they said it's fine. You didn't say whether your friend would want you to pay rent or whether your name would officially be on the lease. If you don't do either of those, then you're not "living" there, you are just a long-term guest and you have no rights.

If you do pay rent, even unofficially, always require and keep every rent receipt you've paid in case of any arguments later about what and when you've paid rent. Having signed and dated rent receipts is super important, especially if you paid in cash and there's no other evidence of payments being made.

The best way to get along with a friend/roommate is to be neat and tidy, and do more than your fair share of the household chores without being told to, and especially try to do the chores your friend hates the most. Be a benefit for your friend to have you there, not a nuisance. Even if it's not fair, do as much cleaning as possible without complaining. Never leave a mess such as dirty dishes, food left out, clutter in the living room, hair in the bathroom sink, etc.

Since it's your friend's house, try to ask him what he likes or dislikes in the house and try your best to follow his stated preferences. But no matter how cooperative you are or how much you do all the house cleaning, sometimes friends just start arguing and it becomes time to move out again. So my advice is to save as much money as you can while living with your friend, to save enough for a first and last month's rent in a regular apartment in case you have to move out.