05 Jun 2011, 1:23 pm
13 Jun 2011, 12:24 pm
24 Jun 2011, 12:22 pm
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26 Jun 2011, 4:37 pm
28 Jun 2011, 3:07 pm
03 Jul 2011, 7:01 pm
10 Jul 2011, 7:48 pm
PrivateEyes
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 11 Jul 2011
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 65
Location: San Bernardino, California USA
13 Jul 2011, 11:04 pm
What is your first name? Brandon
Age: 49
Location: San Bernardino, California USA
Current perseverations: Recently I've just been trying to find a clinic that specializes in autism and can help me with a diagnosis. I'm on Medi-Cal- Perseverations: My classical music blog on blogger called ClassicalRap, writing, building my mp3 music collection and organizing it 
Trying to get my current screenplay read by someone in the film industry, looking for an open mike night somewhere to perform music on my guitar. I'm quite good, and have developed a fairly sizable repertoire since I was very young, reading and participating in my favorite blog: UncommonDescent. Reading books on science, philosophy and religion. I gave up other perseverations a while ago. Now I'm only interested in things that might be productive. From time to time I like to go to thrifts stores and purchase inexpensive but unique items for my apartment. I'm also a composer of classical music. I've written several short piano pieces and a symphony. Right now I'm working on a piano concerto. I've completed the 2nd Adagio movement and am now working on the 1st movement; which is creating some difficulty, but I'll get over it eventually.
When did you discover AS? Through my professional work. I worked as a program director in what's called an IMD (Institute for mental disease) It was basically a locked nursing home that specializes in the care of adults with mental illness diagnoses. The unit I was managing had a specialized program for adults who are "dually diagnosed" with developmental disabilities and mental illness. I came across several patients (residents) with an Asperger's syndrome diagnosis. Because of my seemingly intelligent demeanor I often get promoted into management positions when I'm working, which end up being quite difficult for me. I can't handle the stress, and I'm terribly disorganized, even though I get irritated with disorder. Generally if a situation isn't well organized with protocol I feel limited and not certain what I should do. I think my problems on the job were due to having to work with new management who didn't have all the same organizational skills as the previous management. This caused a lot of distress for me.
Do you have other psych diagnoses? I was diagnosed many years ago as an adult with major depressive disorder. I've been hospitalized 7 times in the last 13 years for suicidal ideation and planing. I lost my job a little over a year ago due to the continued stresses I encountered on the job. I was homeless for a while, and recently began receiving disability benefits. I currently live on my own in an apartment building for people with disabilities. After reading a lot on Asperger's syndrome I feel that all my problems with depression and anxiety began not when I was an adult, but when I was much younger. Asperger's diagnostic criteria seems to fit me quite well. What's interesting is that with all of the psychiatrists I've seen over the years, nobody picked up on my main issue of anxiety - not even me. I think it's because I got over a lot of my childhood anxiety out of necessity. But I still have issues, and medication doesn't seem to work well. The thing that seemed to work the best for me was going through Electro-Convulsive Therapy a few years ago. After that, despite the initial memory problems, I did quite well for about 3 years. Then I started having problems again and wasn't on any medication.
Do you have a degree? I dropped out of college in my Jr. year. I couldn't handle the stresses nor the college environment. I went back to college about 10 years ago just to see if I could do it. I took a course at Cal Sate San Bernardino and was pretty much at the top fo that class, but I didn't continue due to schedule constraints, since I was working full time. I can't really organize a schedule like that. I need a lot of down time.
Kids? I don't have kids and have never been married. I had a cat for a while, but he ran away. I love animals, and I think having pets like cats and dogs is a really good and therapeutic thing for people with social anxiety. Unfortunately the management of my apartment building has decided not to allow me to have a kitten for reasons that don't sound too reasonable.
Favorite music, other than NIN I love classical music, and folk/blues - especially Bob Dylan, Bruce Cockburn, Joni Mitchell, Eric Clapton and many others. Music is a huge part of my life.
Job? I am currently unemployed.
Relationship with significant other, past or present? I had a girlfriend in High school. It worked for about 2 weeks until I tried to be intimate. It didn't work. I felt very awkward. I was simply trying to cover up being gay. But that issue for me has problems as well. I'm not seeking that kind of relationship any more. It doesn't work for me. I'm also a Christian. I'm not "closeted," and I don't appreciate people who say "well, you were born that way, just accept it." I have accepted it, but I don't believe it ends there. I have as much difficulty being intimate with men as I have with women. That's why I believe my social phobia finds it's genesis in Asperger's syndrome, not in being gay. I don't come across as being gay to most people, which is why women are still trying to hit on me.
Plans for the future? Lots of plans. I'm writing what I call a Biographical Rant on the Consequences of Being Different. That's the subtitle. The main titel is A Jubilant Toxic Cloud Parade. The title comes from an incident when I was living on an air force base in Eastern Canada in the early 1970s where the base was frequently sprayed with insecticide due to the many mosquitos in the area. As kids we enjoyed running through the toxic cloud of insecticide behind the truck that sprayed it. Nobody told us not to do this; not even the driver of the truck. So the theme of the book is growing up in the 70s and how there wasn't much concern for the safety of children, nor for the recognition or care for children who don't fit in. I've written two chapters so far. Also, a friend and I are interested in writing screenplays. We are looking into starting a small indie film production company. Right now we're looking for a good cinematic video camera that's within our very limited budget.
Anything else you feel is pertinent: Not really. If anybody has some pointers on where I can be properly diagnosed in the San Bernardino area, I would appreciate it.
Also: I'm a gay person who has the peculiarity of not wanting to be. The whole gay movement in my view and experience has become one of conformity. I want out. I don't need to express my sexual preference to enjoy my life. I've discovered that after several years of looking for the "right" person; and it doesn't work. I prefer just to have friends. Friends are more intimate to me than sexual partners. Of course my film partner disagrees with my views on gay life (he's gay too), but we're still friends.
04 Aug 2011, 11:07 am
What is your first name? Hillary
Age: 19
Location: Texarkana,Arkansas,USA
Current perseverations: listening to music, making art, reading books, watching tv,surfing the net.
When did you discover AS? Feb. of this year.
Do you have other psych diagnoses? Attention deficit disorder,anxiety disorder/panic attacks,depression, social anxiety disorder.
Do you have a degree? No,I'm working on my Ass. of arts right now.
Kids? No.
Favorite music? Some pop music, some rock music,some Instrumental music, Disney soundtracks that are before 1990, J-Pop (or just Japanese music in general), Kpop, and Classic music.
Job? No.
Relationship with significant other, past or present? Not much.
Plans for the future? Hoping I can my degree in art, get a job with Art, and move out of my hometown.
Anything else you feel is pertinent: I see stuff in colors/pictures. Can't do much math, nor science. Just really loves music, and I'm kinda of a kid still but sometimes more mature at time. Has a twin sister, who is two minutes older than me.
11 Aug 2011, 5:09 am
15 Aug 2011, 9:27 am
What is your first name? Ashley
Age: 30
Location: North Carolina
Current perseverations: AS, Psychology
When did you discover AS? A month ago.
Do you have other psych diagnoses? Nope.
Do you have a degree? GED
Kids? 13 girl NT, 5 boy AS (likely, undiagnosed) 2 boy NT
Favorite music, other than NIN Dave Matthews, Norah Jones, Regina Spektor, Peter Gabriel
Job? SAHM
Relationship with significant other, past or present? Married
Plans for the future? Surviving? 
Anything else you feel is pertinent: Finishing up remodeling our bedroom, entering into the field/education of psychology, gardening.
23 Aug 2011, 11:08 am
What is your first name? Todd
Age: 63
Location: Ny State in the woods
Current perseverations: AS, Psychology, recovery (from self medication in various forms) the books I write about it photography, photoshop, nature
When did you discover AS?Have had suspicions and theories for a couple of years now just took the tests a month ago
Do you have other psych diagnoses? No don't let them close enough.
Do you have a degree? ba
Kids? 2 women now 32 and 34
Favorite music,Mozart Pink Floyd, Blue Grass Gospel
Job? Retired Geek
Relationship with significant other, past or present? Married 2nd time - this time it is working
Plans for the future? Wheeeeee
Anything else you feel is pertinent: Life is very good have been in recovery from various behaviors and substances for 24 years in that time have overcome to some degree much of the social ineptitude that was in many ways the reason I self medicated. I am not cured.
The books I am working on are called very simple guides and they may well strike a chord here and they are free for the viewing
requires flash and good connection though
click here to read it
26 Aug 2011, 11:58 am
07 Sep 2011, 1:27 pm
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