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twaggoner
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18 Mar 2012, 3:30 pm

I am more of a lurker on the forums than a poster, but I have a problem I would like some advice on. One of my more recent fixations has been looking into more humanistic roles in society ( how corporations have taken over, etc.) My wife has different views than I do on many of these issues. While my outlook has always been the same, I have been more vocal about them lately and she threatened today to "ground me" from watching documentaries, link tv, and the like. We get along well and have been married for 15 years now. She actually helped me in finding this place to help to understand my asperger quirks, one of which is the obsessions. While she understands that I cannot help dwelling on things for any amount of time, I have had many come and go, I dont think that she understands my views on global politics and society, she is very sheltered and that is where she wants to stay. I am frustrated not only because I cant (and dont want to) force her to adhere to my views, but some of hers are such that we are at opposite ends of the spectrum. So I guess my question is how to handle it? While I dont think my views will change, I kind of know that my focus on being so attuned to learning more about it will wane once my next obsession takes over. Until then she gets pretty upset over some of my views and I get frustrated with hers, and I am unable to explain this frustration to her without causing a huge blow up. advice?



cathylynn
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18 Mar 2012, 3:33 pm

don't discuss politics with her at all.



twaggoner
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18 Mar 2012, 3:40 pm

Thank you for the advice. My problem comes in that as I said, unfortunately it is my current focus of attention and while I can attempt to not have the discussions with her, it is not viable to not discuss it with her at all.



Candles15
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18 Mar 2012, 3:45 pm

Hmm Maybe when you start talking about certain topics, start with "I know we both have different views on this" or "I respect your views". You could try and understand why she hold such opinions.
It's good that you both have different beliefs though. I think it makes the relationship interesting. It'd be far more boring If she was to agree with every single thing you had to say. Just embrace it, I guess.
Also maybe letting her know that you hate arguing about something insignificant as that might soften her up a bit too :)



ZX_SpectrumDisorder
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18 Mar 2012, 3:46 pm

cathylynn wrote:
don't discuss politics with her at all.


I don't think I could be in a serious relationship with someone who didn't share my views, but in your situation that's the best advice right there. Personally I try and inject humour into serious subjects. Maybe you should check out Doug Stanhope with her.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsPDT5qHtZ4[/youtube]



the_beautiful_mess
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18 Mar 2012, 3:57 pm

My advice: don't talk with her about it.

I get it's an obsession, but discuss it with someone else with whom there is not a risk of a divorce. I know that's a little extreme, but still.


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Claradoon
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18 Mar 2012, 7:05 pm

Could you try reversing roles in a discussion, such that you would argue in favour of her viewpoint?
Could you stretch your obsession to various viewpoints, arguing pro & con each? (alone, I think)