Went through my Yearbook and saw my bullies

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Ew. You got some high school on me.

Doing math....18+ years ago for me now. Wow.

No, I don't care about the lives of grade school bullies any more than I do the lives of superstars. Seeing what the rich and famous are doing is just as depressing and a ridiculous time waster.

I have tried looking people up that I hoped the best for, but many times I couldn't find them. I still hope their lives turned out happily.

my thoughts about people who were a problem back then is, if the people they married knew what they'd been doing in High School, they should by all rights never have gotten together with them because they are terrible people.

Thank you so much Tomboy. I really feel regretful that I opened up that yearbook and let curiousity get to me. I guess it's true what they say, "never look back."...at least in this case. This isn't just the bullies but people whom I've encountered on a regular basis. I'm not saying all bullies are successful but it sure feels like anyone who is above me has this need to tear down on me. As of recently, I don't care what these bullies think of me anymore. I've gotten to the point where I don't want to even know. It's still hard though, I use to tell myself I need to get out there and do something. Due to my present factors, that won't be easy at least not at this point in time of my life. I just as well may try and not worry about it as I'm at the age now where life flies quickly and in the end, not all of us get to achieve or become what we wanted. I may never be content or happy with what I've become but I guess I have to accept it as I have many other things. I guess I was brought up to believe you can be anything and I really focused on that. Now I realize what a load of garbage that was unless you come from a prosperous family or the very rare smart one who through both luck and work achieved their ultimate dreams/goals. I'm not saying I'm never going to achieve anything or be conent as far as "success" is concerned. I do wonder though if people like those that bullied me took their privileges for granted. They sa all the time that the only reasons bullies bully is because they were bullied. I think most of that is BS at least in my experience. I certainly never randomly bullied anyone who was in a lesser position than myself.


Anyway I didn't mean to ramble. Thanks for your inputs.

Watch out for false expectations.

When you open a yearbook and then go searching on the net expecting to see one result, you set yourself up for disappointment. You may not be disappointed, but honestly, hoping for the worst for someone else because of how they used to be (even if it was only yesterday) is not a good way to live. Try to avoid false expectations, and try to hope for the best in people, and don't go looking unless you are really prepared for what you'll find.

You're welcome! Being that I tend to ramble somewhat, I can only say guilty here too...so ramble away! There's nothing wrong with cracking open a yearbook btw. My daughter was here for a few days for spring break, & we were talking about some of the crazy things that go on in HS....she's a senior now. Well, I pulled out my favorite yearbook from 10th grade, & showed her some of the stuff that happened way back then. But I never bother to look up people, good or bad. I have learned to do my best not to compare myself to others as it only leads to me feeling more insecure & miserable (something I really don't need). HS was such a painful time for me that I have no interest in seeking out abusive people. I made a lot of enemies just by marching to the beat of my own rhythm section. I still have a few abusive people in my life that I am required to tolerate (one being my dad), & beyond those few people, I just don't have the energy to try to deal with other past bullies. I'm sure they have moved on as well. Shoot, they probably wouldn't remember the torment as well as I do anyway. Somehow bullies have a much easier time moving forward then their victims, but I suppose that's because of the lasting trauma they inflicted upon us. Since there is no way to repair the past, it's best to just move forward...it's all we can do. Besides, I was always the one at fault anyway, because I somehow provoked the bullying even though I went out of my way to avoid those who physically or emotionally hurt me. I have also never bothered to attend a reunion either. One is I never got invited to any until my 30th, & knowing these individuals from the past, I just decided that I'd rather not revisit people I just didn't enjoy being thrown together with (I learned to hate school starting in 2nd grade), since I had no choice but put up with their abusive behavior. I am not that curious as to how their lives have turned out. Yeah there were a few good people back then, but times change, & trying to relive the past is akin to replaying my worst nightmare. I understand that the passage of time can soften some people & make them less cruel, however I have no desire to pursue that possibility to see if the theory actually works. In my 40s, I found that I had to dump a lot of stuff/people by moving out of the area I grew up in due to financial hardship. In a way, it was a very cleansing thing to do since I am no longer around landmarks that could be triggers for emotional meltdowns. I have a new life & am making the best of my situation one day at a time. I still have bad days, but I am not immersed in an area with constant reminders of my past.

Be kind to yourself, MissConstrue...somedays you are the only advocate you have.

Tomboy

^ Very well put, tomboy4good!

I would never even care to look at a yearbook, provided I had one. I remember a group of kids in my 5th grade class ganging up to beat me. My teacher saved me before they could do real damage. My mother enrolled me in Catholic school after that, where I was not physically assaulted, but got mocked and made fun of. I had a breakdown in my sophomore year and quit going. Although I completed college later on, I can't imagine giving a fart about how those people turned out. I do remember one of my brothers telling me that he heard some of them are living in the projects and not doing so well.

Awww, thanks hartzofspace. It's just all the stuff I had experienced over the years....nothing really special beyond that...it comes from my memories as well as my heart.

I had a similar experience to yours, only I wasn't as lucky. No one came to my aid, & I got the crap beat out of me. These kids had been waiting behind a hedge for me after school one day. It was not the only time I was beat up, but it was one of the more memorable. I vowed to learn to fight since I had only myself to rely on for protection. Ironically, my mother witnessed another girl get attacked the same way & came to her aid. I don't know if any of those kids ever got into trouble for their behavior though as they still continued to torment me as long as we attended the same schools. That's a big reason why I never bothered to try to attend a reunion. I have no desire to ever lay eyes on any of my tormentors. And since I've heard that the majority of the people I attended school with turned into alcoholics/drug abusers (no surprise there), I just prefer to steer clear of them & their bad behaviors. It's kind of funny, but also sad that people who are drunk think they're the most entertaining, attractive, & wonderful people. But I have yet to see anyone under the influence who is more alluring then when they are sober.

I've been beat up a couple times as a child, and once as an adult (my ex) The time I mentioned, they had been threatening me all day and vowed to "get me" after school. I waited around hoping that they had gone home, but they were hiding. I ventured outside and they charged at me, grabbing the belt of my coat. I was trying to open the school door and run back inside, when my teacher opened it. When they saw him they let go of the belt and I crashed into the door, busting my lip. They all got suspended from school which is a stupid punishment IMO. My mother withdrew me from school because she knew they would just come back and beat me up again.

Once in grade school a boy on the school bus grabbed my hand and was bending my fingers backward. Hitting him didn't work and I couldn't pull away so I spit in his face. That worked. It also got me suspended from the school bus for 2 or 3 days so I didn't have to go to school. I was happy about that part. As far as I know the boy didn't get in trouble at all.

Another time when I walked home from school in sixth grade 2 buys threw rocks at me. They didn't get in trouble either.

My mother has the year books from high school. I'd like to put them through a wood shredder then set fire to the whole shebang, but I think she feels like they're part of the record of my life. She can keep them. School was a rotten time for me and I don't think it would lead to warm, sentimental memories if I ever cracked open those books.

Haven't been to any of the school reunions yet and never will. I'm in touch with the people I want to be in touch with. Beyond that, I'm happy to live in ignorance.

The only time a yearbook bought about a positive experience, was this:

My daughter, who is Aspie, was being tormented in middle school. After graduation, she was invited to a party by the tormenters, ostensibly to say they were sorry. I advised her against it, since the same thing had happened to me in middle school. She didn't believe that the reason for the invite was suspicious, and sneaked out to attend the party anyway. Well, those kids assaulted her and the boy she bought with her. When she came home beaten, I called the police. They used her yearbook to identify the little b***ards and they were all apprehended and locked up.

I remember once being asked to something in sixth grade. I said no. Considering that no one liked me or wanted to have anything to do with me I was suspicious of their intentions, plus no one in my house drove so I didn't know how I'd get there and back. I'm not sure if I had seen that scenario on tv yet where they faked being friendly to get a bullied person somewhere to harm them more.

I WISH I WAS 30 AGAIN.
My daughter was born when I was 29.
You just need to get off your butt and start doing things.
No reason for someone your age to think that 30 is the end of the world.....

When I was a kid, there was 6 of us, and we didn't have any money of our own and I never had the $25.00 for a Year Book and so I never had one.
It was just one more thing the kids could laugh at me about.
I graduated 30 years ago and I have never been to a class reunion.

Pennsylvania is known for the exportation of several things.
Coal
Natural Gas
Timber
and our youth.

Most of the people I went to high school with - either got jobs and moved away or had to move to get a job.
Out of a graduation class of 365 - I think there is less then 60 people still living in this area...

MissConstrue, think about it this way. If most of these bullies were not successful at all, they could be doing worse things to you or other good people. Not that they deserve to be successful or living for that matter. I really do believe when someone once mentioned informally "once a bully, always a bully. . ." Don't worry about other bully's lives- they may look happy or be good in one end, but they could really be miserable in another way. Just focus on your own life and try to only care about yourselves, your friends, and potential friends.