Board games - Can NTs and Aspies play well together?

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I'd say Scrabble is somewhat of a peculiar game from the competitive aspect, but it is more social too than some other strategic games. Some people "play just to play and not to compete" because the "game" is used as a "tool" to socialize. Some people like to play games to compete. Most aspies who like games will play to compete because they always have to follow rules or "their rules." Some NT people, especially if they are not very good at competing but like the game, create their own niche in this manner. So, as a competitive player, you want to search out people and clubs that have competitive players and not recreational players. If you're at like a picnic or some event and some friends or acquaintances want to play a game and you're stuck, well at least you can be aware of what to expect and to think of it as a learning experience to try to deal with people who do not follow the rules, or just play strategically bad and not care. Maybe just play to make them happy, but try to bring a book or something to do as a backup if you can, lol.

A cooperative game can work for social people or any group of people, but usually board game geeks tend to like this type of game more because many NT people don't like to put up with complicated rules.

This topic really caught my attention, and I hoped it might throw some light on why my Aspie husband never wants to join in with board games - whether it is with me (I'm NT) and my family members (also NT) or with his son (Aspie) and daughter (NT). (It's a 2nd marriage for both of us). Generally the rest of us have fun with board games - and some of us are very competitive, and some not so - and for the most part we're able to incorporate our different attitudes into a game without annoying each other too much.

My husband is actually not a very competitive person, although he is a stickler for rules. However, the reason he gives for not wanting to play board games is that he finds it irritating that I choose to spend time with other people doing something he doesn't see the point of, rather than spending it with him. When my daughter and her partner and a friend came to visit us from interstate I spent the day with them (it involved going to a restaurant and art galleries, so my husband didn't want to join us) and then we decided to play a board game after dinner. My husband got angry because he said I'd already spent the day with my daughter, I looked tired (I didn't feel it) and therefore I should ditch the game and have an early night. I don't see my daughter very often, so I decided to play with them. My daughter tried to persuade my husband to join us - but he refused and had a shot at her for monopolising my attention, which seemed really unfair to me.

On most occasions, if we have a family gathering, and start organising a board game after dinner, he'll go to bed early. Sometimes he's tolerant of the fact that I'm doing something with other people, but if he's in a bad mood he'll berate me when the game is over, on the grounds that I've stayed up too late, or that he heard me laughing too often (he actually counts my laughs, sometimes!)

Can anyone make any sense out of this for me?

For NTs I think they are "bored games". It seems I am usually the last one left playing the game, when everyone else just says, dude man check out the football game! And they leave. People say I am too serious about the game, and that its just for some fun.

I know this isn't a board game, but I will play multiplayer video games. Not with voice chat, not usually as a team, just lone wolf stuff. I like single player games, just not all the time, some can get to be too linear, like COD SP, if you replay the game there is only one way to get to the end, you know the same guy is going to say the same thing, to me its like a one way maze. BF MP to me is more like chess, you can plan or move in any way that you want to and be CrEaTiVe, every game played is different each time you can jump off a cliff snipe someone out of a jet, steal their jet, its not scripted game play on rails. You can take control of a base how ever way you want, and do what you what when you want. You can plant C4 on your Jeep drive towards someone jump out and detonate your Jeep bomb. If someone is taking off in a Jet, you can drop a jeep on the run way from the sky right before they take off and they crash.

Alot of people will yell things out, you just got pwned! I just sit there and play. They say, Wanna see what happens when I shoot my own guy? I say, No, lets just play the game.

I agree with others who have suggested you have some kind of overlying social rules to follow. Maybe your winning condition should be: everyone should enjoy themselves - which may mean you need to tone down you need to follow the rules exactly. I still think you should try and play the game as it is intended, and you shouldn't loose on purpose, but put a little less emphasis on just winning.

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I also think cooperative games are a really great option for you - except you may have to keep yourself in check and not tell your gaming partners how to take there turns, which can be a common pitfall in coops. Our house rule is that you can make suggestions to the other players about what you think they might want to do, but ultimately it is their decision and you have to accept what they choose (even if you feel it isn't optimal). Coops allow you to all win together or all loose together. Plus it is a different kind of gaming experience that new players are often intrigued by. The titles I would recommend are:

Pandemic - my personal favourite coop - it can feel repetitive after awhile, but there is a great expansion available and since we've gotten the expansion, we haven't gotten bored with it at all

Forbidden Island - this is a simplified version of Pandemic with a more kid friendly theme, but it can be really good for inexperienced adults too.

Flash Point: Fire Rescue - very accessible theme, has a easy/family version, and a more complex/advance version so you can play it with different types of crowds

(I own and enjoy Yggdrasil, but wouldn't recommend it as place to start in terms of coops)

You can look these up on boardgamegeek website, but chances are if you're a gamer, you already know about this site.

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Alternatively, you could try games that are more subjective - with less of a right or wrong aspect.
I would suggest Apples to Apples, or Dixit (I like Dixit much better) - both are games where the players determine the outcome of who ultimately wins or looses based on their personal decisions, rather than the winner being the one with the best strategy. These are more socially interactive games, which may help meet your partner's goals for a gaming evening.

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As for more competitive gaming - I've heard that Scrabble champions are actually more mathy types who can calculate the best possible way to score with the letters they have. This may explain your difference in your approach to the game.

If you like to game competivitly, you could try getting you "winning-fix" by playing board games online. I know, I know, sounds like an oxymoron. But there are some free website with online implementations of games. I personally use yucata.de, which has an English user interface option. It's also a great way to try before you buy too.

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From one gamer to another, I hope this helps.