Which Conditions did you consider before AS?

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Listed results above norm;
Schizoid 80% 53%
Schizotypal 84% 53%
Obsessive-Compulsive 62% 40%


I always felt "different". I considered countless options in my childhood, each with differing degrees of realistic probability. When I began experiencing "difficulties" in public school, I was IQ tested because they(the school system folk) suspected mental retardation while my parents knew otherwise, when my result came back @ 169 full-scale, the conclusion was changed to me being "gifted" and that my behavior was due to me being bored. Which was partially correct. Everything was always chalked up to being gifted from there on out as far as family was concerned, they figured smart people are just eccentric, so my behavior continued to reinforce this stigma.

It wasn't until I went out on my own, and was in the "real world" that it was clear to me my differences could not simply be explained by a high IQ score on some test, there was a very real underlying cause that I would have to track down. And my search took me to the conclusion I was Autistic, Aspergers specifically, since I could not confirm if there was a specific developmental delay. I had an informal diagnosis from a professional. I have since confirmed that in fact there was developmental delay, however, and the severity of it was underplayed by my mother for sake of posterity it seems. So I've settled into the conclusion that I'm high functioning autistic. I’ve considered getting a formal diagnosis for this, but I’m just full enough of myself to think I know better than anyone else in the mental health field.

Depression - because my mother was diagnosed with it and it was suggested to me many times, but I never really believed it after considering it for a while.

ADHD - but dismissed it since at that time I thought about it, it was already becoming a "fad" diagnosis, (early Eighties).

Autism - because of watching some documentaries about it, and even though the prevailing consensus at the time is that it was always severe I wondered if there could be much milder forms of it, but was told there wasn't by a psychiatrist, so I dismissed it for many years.

Schizophrenia - because some of the symptoms were so much like ones I thought I had, but dismissed it pretty quickly once I learned more about it.

Multiple Personality - Because sometimes people seemed to think I acted like two different people from time to time.

Laziness - because I heard it so much from other people

Stupidity - for the same reason

ret*d - same reason, and I do have an aunt with Downs Sydrome, but now I know it's more likely because my grandmother happened to be of an age that makes Downs more likely, and she is the only person in the family with Downs.

I never really knew much about any other real disorders, or at least not enough to think about them.

MPD was one that took me a long time to dismiss, and didn't until I began to understand that Autism, in some of it's higher functioning forms can cause one to "act" or "fake" being more like people around me. That eventually explained why people were seeing one side of me at one time, and another side at other times. Now that I know it's really Autism, I know that the one side is just me trying to fit in, and the other is seen when I get too stressed from doing that and quit trying, just being myself.

Autism and ADD both turned out to be true.

Unfortunately just thinking about and talking about all of the possibilities got me branded as a Hypochondriac for a while by some doctors. If I got a sense that's what doctors were thinking, I'd just quit going to them. I don't have time or patience for judgmental doctors who aren't really going to help. I've never once considered Hypochondriasis. I've always known I had good reason to think about this stuff.

I've also had some periods of drinking and drug problems, but have always, except for a couple of moments of doubt, considered them indirect symptoms of something else, not alcoholism or addiction. I now drink on occasion, but not much, and don't take anything but OTC's (rarely), or prescription drugs, and even those I hardly ever finish unless they're antibiotics.

i was in denial of any type of autism/asperger's diagnosis.
and told myself that i only have ocd (i do have ocd as well).

now after 5 or 6 years since starting on anti-depressants for my ocd,
i'm learning to accept that i have asperger's and feel "accepted" in the WP community which i shunned previously, as i tried to deny the truth.

Acceptance, has become the only way to move forward.

Thanks for reading my post.

Much Love,
skribble

Bi-Polar II with psychotic features (current)
OCD
Anxiety disorder
Schizoid
Schizophrenic
Avoidant personality
A general loon (this is mine)

Dreaming (this life is just a nightmare)
Alien
High Function Sociopathy or something related
Manic-Depressive
Depression
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Dissociative Identity Disorder (never formal dx, but likely; currently recovered)
Autism/ASS/ASD, ADD, AS (formal dx for autism & ADD)
Intersex related development disorders (formal dx)
Gender Identity Disorder (dx pending)
Hypochondria

Naturally there is some overlap and to have one doesn't mean that you can't have the other.

My results are:

(First Number is me, socond the average)
Paranoid |||||||||||||| 54% 50%
Schizoid |||||||||| 34% 40%
Schizotypal |||||||||||||||||||| 82% 56%
Antisocial |||||||||| 38% 46%
Borderline |||||||||||||||| 66% 45%
Histrionic |||| 18% 35%
Narcissistic |||||| 26% 40%
Avoidant |||||||||||| 46% 48%
Dependent |||||||||||||||| 62% 44%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||||||| 66% 45%

Last edited by Raziel on 27 May 2012, 3:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Depression and schizoid personality disorder, but neither fit too well and they failed to meet the criteria for a good, succesful scientific model. Philip Kitcher said, "A great scientific theory, like Newton's, opens up new areas of research" ... and AS fits the bill here much better than the other two. Also it explains more, it is more comprehensive as a description of my problems. The other two were fairly narrow in focus, and really did not explain the problems as completely, nor did they account for onset and duration as accurately.

I'm still a skeptic though, so although it's interesting I don't think it's exact enough to precisely fit anyone, but it's useful nonetheless for understanding and for solving problems.

My family had no idea, but they fought against mental retardation. I'm glad they did, because otherwise my life would probably be totally different. Also, back 20-30 years ago, they didn't know anything like they do now. There are still a lot of kooks out there, but there's also a lot more accessible information out there too.

I generally thought that the various conditions that can be associated with Asperger's were "what was wrong with me." These varied through the years, mainly depression, OCD, schizoid disorder, and avoidant personality disorder. Of course, I'd say I do have to deal with a lot of those things at times, particularly the OCD and the depression.

My wife [who has a degree in psychology and has worked in the field] semi-jokingly diagnosed me five or six years ago. The more we read, the more we realized it wasn't a joke, as it explained almost everything about the way I'd been my entire life. I found out later that people at my elementary school had suspected some type of autism, but my mom refused to believe it.

My first therapist thought I was an abuse victim, not wanting to be touched and avoiding eye contact. I was around 16 then. Later I was diagnosed with depression, OCD and generalized anxiety disorder. Next I got an ADD diagnosis with social anxiety disorder and depression.

I got my aspergers diagnosis a few months ago, but apperently I still have ADD ?

I always knew I was different, but I somehow always felt I was the only one? So I kind of never thought about a certain diagnosis, especially since nothing my therapists told me ever really fit, so I stopped thinking about it. I'm still not entierly sure which label fits.

FAS (Fetal alcohol syndrome) from birth. My mother was drunk when she went into labour and couldn't remember all the names of the pills she had taken that day.... Had been partying through the entire pregnancy.

Hyperlexia - I was reading aloud, youth bible stories before I was two, I had read most of the Encyclopedia Britannica before I was six, I was coding in basic on my sixth birthday (Commodore Vic - 20 for my birthday).

Dyscalculia - some but not all of the symptoms.

GID (Gender identity disorder) by 3 - 4 years old.

ADHD - Diagnosed after many sessions of play therapy, funny they never said a word to my parents about playing with the dolls, the littletykes kitchen, the aprons, not the trucks, guns and toy soldiers. No, I was ADHD because I threw a fit when forced to play with masculine toys..... They never said anything about the disruptive movements and noises, lack of peers, lack of emotion.... As an adult, no ADHD.

Was given the WISC test three times in a year, I know I scored 128 on the last test session, on the full test, I never got to read the sum of the results, I wasn't "allowed"... The person testing me told my teacher and my grandmother she thought I was Autistic.

GLD and SLD is what my homeroom was called for the majority of my educational career. At school, my homeroom teacher and the Principal pull me out of class and set me up in the supply closet across the hall from the office, It was HEAVEN!! !! ! Very quiet, other than the loud ticking from the analog clock they put in there for me, I complained about it and I got a digital clock. One on one tutoring and I had my own computer, even though it was only an apple II... I still to this day wish I could thank those two for doing that for me, they saved me.

Seven years old, my step-dad leaves, leaving me at the mercy of a drunk abusive pill addict with tourette's, bi-polar, BPD, OCD, (and I'm almost positive an aspie as well) She had no tools to be raising a developmentally disabled child on her own....

Then Came PTSD!! !! !! !

PTSD - chronic, unreasonable, violent, sexual, emotional abuse from my mother for about seven years.... so bad. She had a meltdown and checked into the hospital, they Bounced me from group home to group home, foster families..... one of which the "Father" beat the piss out of me for calling genitals by their names instead of using slang, he threatened me with his service piece, said to his wife that he was tired of baby sitting ret*ds, he was drunk. A LOT.

I was in a group home, someone stole a knife, cops get called, we each get taken in the office and interrogated. My turn comes, no one has fessed up, "I didn't take it!! !" screamed at the cop... He took me by the back of the head and rammed my face into a CRT monitor.

Many broken bones. Broken sexually, Broken emotionally. Broken trust of authority. So many scars.

Hit the streets the DAY after I turned thirteen, didn't look back, couldn't look back. Very unstable for many years, in and out of hospital a few times, treatment = non-existent. Bounced all across Canada on my own a few times. Never paid any mind to my "issues" I was far to busy trying to stay alive. Still managed to make it to grade 10, do not ask me how.

Flash Forward a bunch of years that I can't remember due to all the drugs I'm sure.... I have a huge meltdown after I get the crap beat out of me by a boyfriend, check myself into the hospital because I just can't cope, highly unstable, suicidal. Get diagnosed with bi-polar type II and Borderline Personality Disorder by a doctor that still had that New Car scent </sarc>. I pursue gender reassignment surgery, go through the 2 year program in one province and get my approval letters.. the province cuts funding for everyone. Moved to another province that still has funding, go through the two year program, get two more approval letters.. the province cuts funding for everyone. Move to third province, go through two year program, get another two approval letters, have my date set, get my date bumped up a whole year, DONE!! !! !! ! YaY!

10 years after my bi-polar and BPD diagnosis, It REALLY doesn't feel right, I don't cycle through moods and I don't have a black or white view of the world. I'm simply not bi - polar. BPD is questionable. Non-stop, non-cyclic depression, that one I can understand, but not Bi - polar.

So that leaves me at:

FAS
Hyperlexia
Dyscalculia
GID
PTSD
Chronic Depression
Mild OCD
And very very likely ASD, as everything seems to be pointing in that direction. I'll be finding out right away, just as soon as I find out of I can get funding for the assessment. I'm somewhere on the spectrum, I'll figure out where eventually.

I've been on every related pharmaceutical known to man, to no avail. Off all pharma other than a tiny bit of estrogen. I rely on the kind herb to get me through my rough patches.


Sorry for being so wordy. Sorry for over sharing, but it's helping me figure things out as I go.

Early childhood: Encopresis - correct diagnosis (but in retrospect, it was likely stress induced due to Aspergers). Diagnosis made by a pediatrician, who told my mother to give me as much decision making power as possible.

Childhood: Thought to be painfully shy by adults. My personal conclusion was that I was not trying hard enough and I should try harder to be like everyone else.

Late teens: Depression. Diagnosed by family physician and was started on medication.

Early 20s: Atypical depression with obsessive tendencies & trichotillomania. Diagnosis made by psychiatrist and medications were changed.

Mid 20s: ADHD - Inattentive type. Diagnosis made by psychologist who did some tests with me for ADHD, but did not test for anything else. Additional meds prescribed by a psychiatrist.

Late 20s: Anxiety induced by LDs was suspected by a counselor (thought ADHD may not be the best diagnosis) and she referred me to a "learning coach" who came to similar conclusions. The learning coach also felt there was more to it and, given that my case seemed very complex, recommended professional evaluation, even though I was an adult. Then I did full phychological assessment, which determined a gifted intellectual status and slow processing speed learning disability. (They found no evidence of NVLD or CAP deficits - but I still feel they may be present). My learning coach began to suspect Aspergers after working with me over several sessions. I returned to the same psychologists for further consultation regarding Aspergers. This time they inlisted the help of an Aspergers specialist, and Aspergers was finally confirmed. *light bulb moment*

Valid diagnosis to date:
Aspergers Syndrome
LD - slow processing speed
Anxiety and Depression secondary to the above two conditions
Gifted Intellect
self-susptected NVLD
Trichotillomania may still be applicable

OCD
Bi-Polar
Manic Depression
Depression
Anxiety
Social Phobia

I gave up on meds and psychs in my mid twentities only to stumble upon AS when researching smell sensitivity. Talk about a lightbulb moment.

I can now add my stomach issues, food allergies, high blood pressure, and migraines to what is now a well rounded diagnosis that I am trying not to be bitter I found myself.

I just thought I was weird. My family first couldn't believe I had anything, then in my 20s, got so annoyed at my differences that they had me checked out, and so here I am. I have felt out of place in both worlds. Autistic people, many, wonder if I'm really being truthful, and NTs think I'm too weird to be around them, but some of them who are in the aspie world cannot believe their eyes that I would be in the autistic world either. It's official, I even won a small grant to prove it based on this diagnosis.

For me, this diagnosis is definitely personal, but has also allowed me to meet people in a world I would otherwise have not gotten a chance to meet. I don't have regrets, but I am still searching.

None.

I got diagnosed with depression, anxiety, etc, but I never really "felt" those things. I started to believe I was "depressed" when I was younger, but I never really "felt" it, I just got convinced I was because I felt bad (I'm alexithymic, so yeah....) Psychs pretty much didn't know what to do with me, I just was a big mystery to them. Finally I got a huge eval done (keep in mind, I never volunteered myself to go to psychs, it was always on someone else's insistence, usually the state's, starting with truancy), and I got diagnosed NVLD, schizoid, and schizoaffective, and they said I was "Close to Aspergers but not quite" and even after that eval, because the people who they referred me to for treatment said that diagnosing a 17 year old with schizoid and schizoaffective was dumb, and in general I just didn't like things they said about me in the eval. It was only after a few other psychs that I trusted more suggested Aspergers (to which I basically said "yeah whatever, but you're nice enough at least") and I met a friend with the same NVLD/Aspergers combo diagnosis I have, and saw similarities in myself and him, that I did my own research on NVLD, and everything matched, it was like reading a biography. I even retook my verbal IQ and performance IQ tests online and came out to similar of how I was tested.

Finally, after an eval against my will, multiple people telling me I got it, and meeting someone with the same diagnosis as me, and then doing the research about it, I accepted that I had it. I guess that's fairly opposite of most people on this board, actually like, wanting an AS diagnosis.

Well, I am not officially diagnosed with As, but have considered may things to try and explain my oddness. It's just that AS seems to explain all of the quirky aspects of my behavior better than the others. As to what I considered, I was diagnosed as a child (in the mid 1980's) as having ADHD. However, it really doesn't fit all of the other issues, so I also looked at PTSD, OCD, Major depression, general anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, depersonalization/derealization disorder, and I am sure a few more.

So far as Aspergers/high functioning autism are concerned, I do fit the mold quite nicely. I am not severely handicapped by it unless you are talking about romantic situations that I can't read to save my life. However, I also suffered a lot of bullying as a child, had obsessive interests, meltdowns (panic attacks), tend to prefer the literal and logical to the abstract, tend to be pedantic and verbose, and tended to be interested in topics not normal for kids my age. I have long preferred mechanical things to people (not that I hate people, mind you) as I have always considered them more logical and easy to understand. However, I do avoid new places most of the time and it takes some courage and planning just to enter a new store that I have not previously visited. I also have poor short term memory and difficulty concentrating on anything I am not either very interested in or obsessing over at the time. As a kid, I also vehemently disliked sports and group activities and nearly failed PE-in kindergarten. I am also very sensitive to smells to the point that I only buy things that are unscented and also prefer to only wear clothes that are made of cotton. Likewise, I also have an aversion to spicy foods (I can't even stand mustard) and eat a diet comprised mostly of bland, predictable foods. I don't care too much about my personal appearance but I do try to shave and wear clean clothes every day to work. When I walk, I do so with my head down and my seated posture has been called poor by many other people. I also can't seem to sit still most of the time and do a variety of motions while seated. When I speak in many situations, it is in a monotone voice. Now any one of these things can fit into some of the other diagnostic possibilities above, but all of them combined only fit AS or HFA. However, I may be wrong and if anyone thinks there is another explanation please feel free to correct me.