Just cos Im an adult, doesnt mean I cant go to parents for..

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...advice. When a parent is worrying about their grown-up children, I hate it when people go, ''oh he/she's an adult now'', as though they're implying ''he/she knows what he/she's doing, let them get on with it and just worry about yourself.'' But when somebody's grown-up sibling is in trouble, and someone worries about them, nobody says ''oh they're adults, let them get on with it.''

It's like, parents aren't meant to have feelings for their children any more, once they get past a certain age, and just expect their grown-up children to figure everything out all at once and do all the right things with their lives, and if a parent is caught worrying about their grown-up children, they get accused of smothering them, when they're not, they are just entitled to care about their children all through life.

I may be 22 but that still doesn't mean I'm ready for moving out. I'm an Aspie, my anxiety is holding me back, and I am not relying on my parents to keep me anyway; I can handle my own money well and I can do things for myself, but at the same time I can still have a descent relationship with my parents.

Kids growing up does not mean parents have to wash their hands off them. Does anyone agree?

sure. your lucky to have the opertunity to be able to.

I agree greatly, however in a general sense the absolute amount of time a parents child, spends being with, talking to, living next to their parents (ie where the outside world can look in and say such things) does decrease as we get older. But the connection needs to remain strong/ if not the energies/ (worrys nullified by having them available) get channeled elsewhere. Maybe I am chatting the obvious, but its a fine area. I am certain its very beneficial to talk to my mum and grandparents by phone three/ four times a week, and visiting them for sunday dinner or whatever really makes a difference.

Its the extreme anxiety, by which I mean unfocused and frequently unchannelled, which we communicate to them and then they radiate outwards through there social groups which is causing the issue (with random adults) you are asking us to deem unhelpful in our responses. Our parents will be talking to us (hopefully) for as long as possible, however independant we are, we will still need someone to post that letter thats sitting on the side, or say bring over some soup when both us and our future kids are sick, however eventually they should stop having to vent undigestable worries about us...

in theory once we have had a few jobs and settled on some recognised vocation, have savings, some equity/regular payments on our homes, a neighbour willing to have a spare key and occasionally chat to or whatever, that extreme unfocused unchalled worry should dissapate... And that is the situation I would like for myself, my parents, before I am in my late 20s.

In many ways obviously Autism contributes to our parents worries, but equally it sounds like these people that you hear saying this don't have much time, or energy to do anything more supportive of the situation than these comments.

Yes. I see no logical reason for chronological age to be what determines the nature of a person's relationship with their child(ren)/parent(s)...I really don't think there's anything wrong with parents continuing to support their kids beyond adolescence, if that support is needed/wanted/welcomed and given freely.

Having parents that care about you and want to be there for you no matter how old you are is a good thing, I think -- particularly if you get along well.

I agree whole heartedly. Without my mother and the rest of my family, I would be lost. I go to them all the time when I need something clarified, or when I want help with shopping and going places. They are the most important thing in my life and I wouldn't want to live if I lost them.