When did you start feeling like adults?

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I'm 44 and even though I served in the USAF for 20 years and I am now a full time college student I do not feel at all like an adult, but I don't know what age I feel like either, people who are my age seem very old to me. It depends on the individual, I have a friend who is in his mid thirties but still acts like a kid, I know 16 year old kids who seem like adults to me, it just depends on the individual.

Well there is some aspects of adulthood that are even experienced by aspies.
But I guess quite many are more childish than typical NT adults.

I simply dont like to loose my creativity, my ability to learn languages by using them, dont want to entirely surrender to all demands of society
Want to have fun with silly things, want to be fascinated by on the first glimpse for others stupid things

Want to be able to have in principle many different views on things.

If you are the perfect NT adult you will loose almost all of this and you'll use your humor as well. You will be f*****g boring

I like children and their open mind which gets destroyed quite effectively when growing to an adult.
"Model-Adults" dont understand their own stupidness of being imprisoned by their own well trained well defined behaviour

A littlebit more selfconfidence would be great. And that you also develop, but not to the same level as typical NT,
that are so afraid to be different than the rules that they'll never try anything that deviates from those.

Started to feel like an adult when I was bringing home half-gallons of milk. It slowly increased from there. I was given a compliment by my boss recently, and the adult-feeling took a major jump forward. I see the adult-ness in life a lot more now.

But that still doesn't stop me from sneaking around and sticking plastic forks in people's yards (family in-joke).

Still waiting to feel like an adult…

I guess I started feeling grown-up when I began to live independently and provide for myself completely, without any aid or hope to get any help from anyone. That happened around 21 or 22 and I can't say I noticed this transition at that time. I was too busy living a life.

I'll always be a kid in a man's body but I would say recently (29) I've started to feel much more adult. My testosterone levels have greatly increased, my social skills are getting better every day and I finally feel like an adult. At work I no longer go on my childish tantrums and have a much better attitude towards people who make dumb decisions. I even was finally was able to politely tell off a store clerk without raising my voice or getting angry.

I don't even desire to play video games anymore! My main interest is being out and active and meeting new people(!). What's wrong with me

Just turned 49 yesterday. I do not feel like an adult.

I never feel like an adult. At work, I always think people think my comments are childish. I get talked down to by people 20 years younger than me. I always feel like the junior in the office, even though I'm, allegedly, a manager.

On the other hand, though, when I was a teeenager I never felt like a teenager and always felt the other teenagers were acting stupid.

Basically, I just don't fit in with whatever my age group is, so that's probably why I don't feel like one of whatever the particular crowd is.

Hope that made sense - it did in my head as I wrote it

I'm 34. Been on my own since I was 19. I don't know what being an adult is supposed to feel like. Given I'm already getting out of touch with technology, perhaps that means I arrived. ;

Its a moment-to-moment thing.

I've always felt, even when I was a very young child, that my life wouldn't begin in earnest until I was in my mid-50s or 60s. In light of my late diagnosis (I was diagnosed with AS when I was 29, just last year) this may be the case. I have a lot of things to re-learn now that I know there is a reason for the problems I've had and the way I think and feel.

Growing up with as much doubt in myself as I had, I was very removed from every experience. I still feel that way most of the time. I'm renting this body and making it move around through life. It's not really me; I'm not here. I was even so desperate as to marry young (only 21) for what I thought would be security. Oops. Dummy, me.

I don't think that adulthood is even a frame of mind any more. Children can be amazingly responsible for themselves and for others, if doing so is within their personal capacity. That's an individual thing. Some biological adults are astoundingly irresponsible, even when there is another depending upon them for the basic needs in life.

Sometimes I feel like myself, is as close as I can manage. Sometimes my self is a child; some times my self is an adult. I guess it means I'm an adult that I won't allow myself to act like a child unless I am actually in a safe enough place to do so.

I hope that helps and makes sense.

This does seem to be a 'common' feature among aspies? Do you think that it maybe to do with the lack of social experiences that help people mature with life experiences? If you're an aspie who's never been in a relationship or have yet to move out, drive or found employment (not saying that this applies to all aspies and not saying this typifies all people on the spectrum, I'm just putting it out there) do you think that magnifies those feelings.

I'm 23 but feel no different from when I was 19, I know that I have matured and with coming to terms with my diagnoses and learning about myself, as I have got older I have noticed that I am a lot more mature than I was when I was a young teen but It still doesn't stop me from feeling childish in the company of peers of my own age group!! !

I wasn't diagnosed until the age of 29, although I had my suspicions a few years prior to that.

I was socialized normally, have had several jobs, moved out of the house as soon as I graduated high school, and have had several long-term relationships and am in my second (and final!) marriage. I was never comfortable doing any of these things, and still cannot drive.

For these reasons, and many others, I personally don't think that socialization has anything to do with feeling adult or not.

Frankly, I haven't met that many adult people who feel adult all the time. I think that's a normal human reaction to one's self.

I will say, however, that I have often felt like an adult being treated like a child; and that has only gotten worse now that I have my diagnosis. Meaning, I am occasionally handled with "kid gloves" or in a manner befitting someone of much less intelligence and experience than I have; by both my family and, most especially, by professionals.

46 here, still feel like I'm in my 20's (despite what my body tries to tell me.) I didn't begin to feel like an "adult" until I was in my late 30's and realized that my son would be graduating high school soon. Just kind of snuck up on me I guess. I still don't feel like an "adult" but more like a kid in a grown-up world trying to understand what everyone else's issue is and why we can't all just have fun for a change?

I heard this saying once about not measuring yourself by another person's ruler. I've found it to be true in my own life because though I may not be in the same place as others school/work wise, I've had so much experience dealing with my own illness and a lot of situational issues that, when I look at school and work, I'm behind my peers, but when I look at self-knowledge, awareness, and growth, I'm light years away from most of the people my age that I meet. So perhaps take a look at other areas where you might be ahead of the game? I'm sure you can think of a lot of areas where you're very skilled, while others might feel behind...because it's not something that's black and white, normally.



I worry about being able to support myself as well. Even when on my own, I was worrying if I could stay that way. I don't know if it's possible to know when you'll get there just because life is so unpredictable and even those people who'd be called "normal" can be thrust back into their parents' house, unable to do much of anything for themselves if life happens to deal them that hand. Sometimes independence is an ability, other times, it has less to do with the person and more to do with life just being difficult. That said, what more can you do than try as hard as you can, seek resources and guidance in learning how to be more like the mature person you wish to be, and to keep pursuing that? If you put in the effort, you'll reach your potential.

Responsibility is cultivated, in my experience. It's this understanding that you get when looking at all the things you have to do and want to do, and learning which things are important, which things aren't, and then using that knowledge to complete things with priority, first. "Important" is often more about what society sees as important than it is an individual thing... Since "responsibility" is measured by others and in comparison to others, it's a quality that involves others' ideas of priorities. Keep in mind that there are varying opinions in certain areas as to what takes priority -- while one person may think working to support one's family is more important than spending time with their children, another might think less money and work is alright as long as they're there for their kids. Think of it as being like playing an instrument. No one wants to hear something played note-for-note literally, because it's emotionless. Every musician puts little deviations into their performance here and there to make it unique. Pursuing a goal of being responsible is similar in that regard.

As for wisdom, I think it's about perspective. When you can see how unimportant certain things are while still being able to understand why those things are important to people other than yourself who are, perhaps, in a different place in their lives...then you may just have reached "wisdom"...



There are events that you can gain maturity from if you choose to learn from them. Usually these events are large and important to us and can involve anything from birth to death to loss to extreme revelations or wild and difficult experiences. Events are more about what you choose to get out of them, though. There are plenty of people I've known who have been through a lot but never worked to learn anything from their experiences, and needless to say, they were no better for their suffering. But any experience, whether large or small in your life, is potentially something you can learn and grow from. It's really more about what you put into it than it is about what hand you're dealt.

Don't worry, there really is no predefined path to being an adult. It's an art, not a science, so while you may not know exactly how to go about things, it's okay because you're in the same boat as the rest of us. There is no right or wrong way to do things, just keep putting in the effort, and you'll be alright.

I'm almost 28 and feel like a kid... my husband who is 32 is still a kid too. Are we doomed to be kids forever?...

I'm 30 and I feel the same way. I always imagined there would be some point in time where I felt different, but instead I'm just the same kid I was 15 years ago but with more money and a job. I can't shake the feeling that this isn't how it is for other people.