strain's too much, cant take much more

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i've lost my only family ally recently.. about to lose my job, pushed away most of my so called "friends" which aren't really just names on facebook that i don't really know and never see.

i am also trying to come off of klonopin this s**t is killing me. the eye twitching.. i can't bear it.

i have had severely violent and self destructive thoughts like hoping someone would murder me or bash me in the back of the head with a baseball bat. something to make the pain stop.

i'm not doing anything to myself. i guess i used to cut but i don't even feel like doing that anymore.

I'm sorry.
I can't offer any advice, but I thought I'd say something because no one else had replied yet. I'm feeling crappy at the moment also, but it's not nearly as bad as your problems. If I feel this bad over trivial stuff, I can imagine how you feel. Keep fighting.

Sorry to hear about your problems. I have no idea what klonopin is or what it does, but getting rid of a habit really demands selfmanagement (just quitting smoking can be hard).
I am also swamped in problems and going to loose my job soon, it is not easy to find a new one, so I do feel for you.
Most friends on Facebook are just contacts, consider it some sort of little black notebook with all your contacts in it (try posting you need a new job?)

Is that you in the picture? like the red hair

Ride it out; benzos are hell to get off (FPE) but once you're free from their clutches you can think more as yourself, not colored by an artificial mood relaxer. I have seen other family members go from being super responsible to candidates for assisted living facilities from Ativan, to which clonazepam is a cousin to. They don't hit as hard initially as Valium but are longer acting (this data for Hjelles)

@OP I'm not sure if kicking was your own idea or the doctor's, but trying to stop abruptly from a 2mg or higher dose after regular use can be fatal. It is probably a good idea to bridge with a short term supply of Librium