Your first realisation

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It took a long time for me to realize how different I was. I knew I didn't fit in but it wasn't until college that I realized how differently I behaved. One of the courses we did in college was aimed towards teamwork and communication skills. One time the tutor video taped the class without us really being aware of it then showed us the tape. It was a bit of an eye opener for me. My behaviour was very different to the rest. I very obviously wasn't joining in and wasn't reacting as the others were. That was the point where I started making a conscious effort to watch others and modify my behaviour to suit.

I was attracted by the forum name. Wrong Planet.

I always felt like some alien cuckoo.

I had a few friends, but found socializing with others extremely difficult, and still do but not so much cause now I don't care.

I was the smart kid that sat up the back and looked out the window, didn't pay much attention after I realised nobody cared if I put in the big effort. I duxed a couple of years at High School till I lost interest.

Tried a number of jobs but never got the concept of career as that sort of personal restriction seemed like hell.

Was a bit suicidal, but got beaten to actually trying it by getting Guillian Barre Syndrome when I was 25, that nearly killed me and snapped me out of that stuff.

After effects of GBS made me unemployable for regimented work. Did a numer of own businesses. Bought some land out in the sticks when I had one stable job.

I've created my own world, and avoid the "real" world as much as possible, oddly I love travel. Whipes me out but I like the input.

Was married, no kids.

I now have a GF for last 12 yrs. We don't live together which I think is good for both of us. She's a psych nurse and has suggested that maybe I have aspergers, I thought I was just a bit strange , but looking into it I realise that It's possible. I'm finding it a little unsettling pouring my life through that sieve and finding lumps.

Foretunatly I mostly come to terms with how life is and have learned how to be happy.

I'm also very fortunate to live in Australia where the social security system is fairly compassionate, so I'm on a disability pension which make life, from that aspect anyway, fairly easy.

Living in the forest is aq challenging environement, mostly, but not always, in a good way.

I'm a noob to this, forgive me if I miss protocols.

I did one of the online tests and got 126 for aspies and 105 for NT so maybe I'm borderline or something and shouldn't be here, but when I read about some of you guys, i recognise so much.

Elementry school I knew I was somehow different, I had intrest no one else had. The school knew something was not right but could not figure it out.

In Kindergarten I hated recess. I didn't know how to play with other kids. They all seemed to know how to play with each other already, as if they had all been friends before. The kindergarten teacher at one point helped me join the girls play "house" and I had no idea what to do. I kept waiting for the rules to be explained to me. They didn't like me playing with them and Free Time was the most dreaded part of my day because I had to pretend to look busy and not like a freak.

Hmm interesting question, I was definitely different at school, very shy and introverted, but also very talented as an artist. At the age of 7 I could already sculpt a realistic human face from clay! its the one thing people always remember about me from infant school (they conveniently forget about the bullying) The school realised something was wrong with me, and sent me to a psychiatrist, but he said I was just bored because I'd already memorised all the learning material for the rest of the term. Autism wasn't even known back then so a diagnosis would have been impossible.

I can't remember when I realised I was actually different, I just recall feeling like an alien from a young age, I honestly felt that I wasn't a part of the human race. as I grew up I just thought 'hey I'm an artist, I'm supposed to be eccentric'. I was also misdiagnosed with social phobia disorder 13 years ago, so that kinda clouded the issue a lot. Many of my 'quirks' were attributed to Social Phobia, and I accepted that as an explanation, even though deep down it never seemed to fit me. It was only after some offhand comments from the consultant who diagnosed my son with Autism last year that I even considered the possibility of being on the spectrum, which has now been confirmed by my own consultant.

Looking back all the clues were there, I just didn't pick up on them. I still consider myself to be an eccentric artist, but now I'm an eccentric artist with Aspergers

I've always been 'weird'. I come from a large family and have a sister, but never understood the rules of playing games with other girls when I was little - till I went to High School, I ended up playing football with the boys or any of their competitive games because I knew the rules & they didn't expect me to talk much! Got through High school by discovering humour & sarcasm, which helped, but I was always the odd one out - no fashion sense, no social graces & no empathy/interest in other people's lives beyond mild curiosity. I was also incredibly clumsy, but it helped that I was good at sports and quite attractive, so I was never bullied. But I never fitted in, was only really happy on my own or for short time with others. It wasn't until I met a HFA man at work and became friends with him that I researched it and discovered that all the 'quirks' I had are in fact traits of AS, as does my father. I work with children with learning difficulties, including AS, but had been blinded by the fact that I had never worked with a girl with AS and didn't realise that girls can & do have some markedly different traits to boys. I have no desire to go for a diagnosis - having worked with Educational Psychologists, it doesn't mean much to me to have a diagnosis. I know that reading about other people's experiences is like reading into my own mind. It helps me to read these because it helps me to understand why I do things and that is such a relief that I don't need anything else to validate that.

I've always seemed to slip through the cracks.

Having only recently realised that I have Aspergers (diagnosed over a year ago - I'm now 31), I have been able to view my past with a different perspective. Previously, I had never really thought about my past at all. One thing that comes to mind is that I can't remember having any friends at all prior to the age of 9. Since then, I've always been limited to one or two friends - but never more than that. I've never been able to maintain friendships over long timeframes.

During school, I never had a social group to identify with - always seperate. Fortunately, I wasn't bullied much since I was very good at defending myself both verbally and physically. I also learned to copy the actions of others so that I wouldn't stand out or appear abnormal. Although the cost of that effort was my burning out the year before last.

For all my life I never cared if I 'fit in' or not. It just didn't matter and this continues to be the case. However, I have realised that it feels like I'm living on the wrong planet so the name of this forum definitely rings true.

First day of kindergarten. Everyone but me seem to understand what to do, how to behave. It was like someone forgot to tell me the rules. There were blocks for us to play with & each size had its own shelf. One block on each shelf was painted bright blue & was not to be removed so that we would put each size back in the same spot. They were called "Tattle Tale" blocks, because if you took a blue block from the shelf, someone would surely tattle on you. I had no idea what the teacher was talking about as she was explaining this, because the blocks were not only behind us, but the blue ones were out of sight behind the rest of the blocks. Everyone else grabs the other blocks and as I grabbed the pretty blue blocks I wondered why nobody wanted to play with them. So of course some girl starts yelling for the teacher - tattling on me for grabbing the "forbidden" block. I'm mortified and confused.
By high school I'm completely convinced I am from another planet as it is the most logical explanation for my feelings of alienation and confusion all through my school years. I never "get" want everyone else seems to innately know.
To this day I ponder why in the world would a teacher paint a toy she didn't want us to touch such an attractive, irresistible color?

I was always the weird kid. I was never normal. I had decided my mother was a gangster holding me hostage, or part of some big elaborate prank, because that was the only explanation I could come up with pre-kindergarten for why everyone else was so weird. I thought every time I went up to the next grade in school that I was supposed to change friends because that was what I observed happening with other kids. I even told a girl that I couldn't be her friend because we were in the second grade now and we had to make second grade friends. In group projects I would be miserable because although I could argue the logical benefits of my idea, I had zero persuasive powers. I would talk endlessly about my favorite topics, and get in trouble for correcting adults when they were demonstrably, factually wrong.

Realizing I might be ASD? The thing that made everything "click" was watching the show Parenthood. The character Max could have been me as a kid, and I found myself frustrated that his parents didn't understand why he would get upset. Before then I just had a horrible fear that I was insane and would eventually lose my mind.

A couple of years ago I remembered a story my adoptive mother used to tell me.

By the age of 2, I was not saying any words, only grunts and weird animal sounds, and I used to point a lot. I was taken to few a doctors, and they said I was Autistic and needed to attend a special school. This was close to 40 years ago, so Autism was known, but was considered to be a full blown ret*d thing. My adoptive parent refused to believe I was a ret*d, and went a new doctor that set up a practice near mums parents. He looked in my mouth and seen that I was 100% tongue tied. That is, my tongue was fully attached to the bottom of my mouth. After surgery and after the stitches healed, I started making words. My parents said they were proved right, and I was not autistic.

So I went through primary school, high school and University, being different, but being adopted, I always knew I was different to my family, so thought it was just normal.

So, I was sitting on the lounge one night, watching TV with my wife, and my mind wandered over this story. I got up, got online and spent about a day looking up Autism and thinking "not quite right". The next day I started reading about Aspergers, and knew there and then that this was me. It was such a relief to know I was not a complete freak, but part of a community of different people.