Obsessions changing

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Does anyone find it really weird and disorientating when their obsessions change? I've been obsessed with fairy tales since I was little and suddenly the interest seems to have faded and it feels really weird. My Pink Floyd obsession has changed to David Bowie (when I told my friend, she made a joke that the world was shifting because of it and that's why there are so many global problems atm; usually my obsessions are my 'grounding') and running seems to have taken over as my main obsession. The eating disorder I've had since I was 13 seems to be more habit/routine now than an obsessive need (still can't break it though) and the MAJOR change is that I'm not obsessed or 'latched on' to people any more.

Since I was about 12, I've 'latched on' or become intensely attracted (not in a sexual/romantic) way to older women (each one usually lasts 2-3 years although one of them was a lot longer than that; it's like an intense need for that person to like me) and a couple of years ago, I wrote a story about it for my MA dissertation which really helped to understand it (I was 'obsessed' with my tutor at the time and was open with her about it, more than I have been with anyone else, and she accepted it which made it a lot less 'weird' or scary to me- I'd spent the previous 12 years feeling like a kind of obsessive stalker and that it was totally wrong) and recently, I spoke to a woman I really trust about it and she was AMAZING- I get really paranoid and worried when i think the person I've 'latched on' to doesn't like me, and one woman deleted me as a friend on Facebook (she's now re-added me), and it REALLY freaked me out. I spoke to the woman I trust and she was really, really helpful- she said that she thinks I take lot of things personally and think they're my fault when really it's to do with the other person and their issues (which, in this case, it turned out to be- she'd deleted me because of something else and not anything I'd done, but she didn't explain that at the time) and that she thought I was aware of it (obsessions/'latching on') enough that it wasn't a problem. I said that I was worried I'd scared the other person off or freaked them out, and she said that she didn't think that I was a "weird, creepy stalker" and that I'd done nothing wrong, which is seriously the best thing anyone has ever said to me!

But since then, the obsessions have totally faded and it feels REALLY weird, like part of me is missing. For so long, that's been my 'default' or background thought and it's a bit like a focus (trying to please someone makes you try really hard at everything you do), and now I feel sort of empty and 'drifting'. I've been 'zoning out' a lot recently too; used to be just when I was stressed or nervous but now it's happening randomly- I'll have days where I feel totally disconnected and floaty, and it's really hard to feel totally 'with it'. Sometimes it gets so bad I can't remember why i'm in a certain place or how I got there. No idea what's going on but feeling v weird and disorientated atm! Anyone else experienced anything like this??

I consider myself a Jack of all trades.

What you're describing almost sounds like my normal state. Perhaps it could be some type of decompression after a long stretch of intense focus? I've seen people express distress before when their obsessions fade, but I've never quite understood it.

I've had similar obsessions. They feel in some way wrong to me (just in my case) but at the same time like an intrinsic part of my personality. It's hard to think of anything that could truly replace them. I can remember one period recently when my obsession with someone broke off because we had a falling out. Getting over it was VERY hard but once I did I felt empty but sort of calm at the same time, like the space in my mind had opened up. I did sit around and space out a lot but I felt like it was something that I needed. After a while I was more able to focus on other things. So that is a different experience from yours. For some reason though it is like my mind wasn't able to sustain that for very long and I fell back into the old habit of getting focused on people.

I think it's more the complete lack of obsession that I'm finding hard atm- even the Bowie and running interests aren't as intense as my obsessions usually are and it feels weird not to have a focus or sense of direction and very disorientating. I've never had this before- usually the next obsession overlaps and takes over the previous one instead of leaving a space. Maybe it is a decompression and focus will start up again :/ just feels v empty and weird atm.



Yes, that's sort of it but the emptiness seems overwhelming and disorientating instead of calm, although I find free time and head space difficult to deal with and it causes anxiety so I find it very hard to ever feel calm! Maybe the obsessions will start up again... It's weird, when I had them I hated it and felt like it was something wrong, and was constantly worked up about what the other person might be thinking and ten years ago I would have done anything for them to go away. But now it feels like an intrinsic part of me is missing and I'm finding it hard to deal with. It really is like my internal axis has shifted and I don't know what's going on.

I think in retrospect you'll be glad there was some variety to your interests.

I am- I don't mind when one overlaps into another. I don't seem to have any atm which is what feels weird :/

I understand what you're going through. For the past two years, I have struggled with not having an obsession. Oh sure, I have plenty of things that I'm interested in, but it feels different from the way I used to obsess over things when I was younger. When I was younger, everything in my life revolved around my obsessions. They were literally the first thing I thought about in the morning and the last thing I thought about at night. Even when I was doing other things or interacting with other people, they were always running in the background of my mind. I was enthusiastic about engaging in them, and that excitement gave me the energy to power through the day. In a way I think that that's what I miss the most - feeling excited and enthusiastic about something.

These days, I cycle through a handful of interests over the course of a few days at a time, rather than having an intense focus on one or two things for a much longer stretch of time like I used to. The interests don't constantly run in the background of my mind like they used to. In fact, I can go several hours at a time without thinking of my interests at all. I have to consciously bring them into focus when I want to engage in them. When I do focus on them, I just don't feel that excitement that I did with past interests. When the realization that my interests don't work the way they used to hits me, then panic sets in and my thought process starts to look like this:

"Oh no! I'm not constantly thinking about my interests! That must mean that I'm not obsessed with them. If I''m not obsessed with them, then I must not really enjoy them. If I don't really enjoy them, then I must be forcing myself to enjoy it when I really don't. I need to find something that I genuinely enjoy. If I find something I genuinely enjoy, then I will become obsessed with it."

The problem is, I can't tell if I "genuinely enjoy" anything, because nothing brings me the kind of excitement that my past special interests did. So when I start engaging in an interest that I think will bring me joy, that same anxiety-fueled thought process eventually and inevitably comes back into play and ruins it for me.

At this point, my only plan of attack is to recognize when that thought process is starting up again and shut it off before I spiral out of control, andcontinue to pursue my interests without questioning how much I "genuinely enjoy" them.

If anyone can relate or give advice, I'd like to hear from you.

That happened to me after a really big breakup, and I lost interest in almost everything for about six months which was a terrible feeling and made me feel especially disconnected from the rest of the world. Over the six months, my obsessiveness gradually came back, and I rediscovered some of my old obsessions which has been really nice--usually become overwhelmed with one obsession for a few months to several years and then gradually replace it with another.

This has happened to me too and I wonder if I am becoming MORE depressed. I normally have struggled with depression but that never seemed to stop my obsessions. But, now, even though I don't really FEEL that depressed I have not obsessions. So wierd!

I have been watching baseball or hockeypretty much every day since I was 10 and have cut it down to about once every two weeks since my diagnoses. Replaced by Aspergers and link hoping on the net

I have had this with a few things and for me there tends to be a specific reason that is linked across all cases and am not sure how that is for you. I feel it is always linked to "novelty", engagement and fulfilment, when these 3 things change over time then the ability to get enjoyment from each goes down.. No longer new, interest wanes, no longer challenging, interest wanes, problem is solved interest is gone.

I was obsessed with football(Soccer) for a long time when I was younger, until I had the unfortunate moment about 15 years ago where I realised what I was watching. The perpetual repeating of the same scenario with mildly differing outcomes determined by a combination of strategy, luck and individual skill where 22 people run around after a ball (you could just run an algorithm each year and post the results, it would be no different and people would still fight over the outcomes). I was a bit gutted but couldn't bare to waste anymore time. I may look at the tables once or twice a year, but the only thing that seems to change are the names on the teams so I don't even waste space remembering who plays for who because if they can transfer from team to team about then what does it mean anyway.

Could your issue with Fairytales be that the story structure and character development is very fixed and predictable and you cannot be suprised anymore by the story or character content? (as in it's solved?)

Music is also an odd one, I have lots of artists I would tell you I love, know all of the music from but almost never listen to. This tends to be because, i've heard it, all of it. I actually don't need to listen to it anymore regularly in order to get the same thing from it, it's just sort of there (if you think hard enough.) So maybe if I ask you to Remember your games and daisy chains and laughs because you got to keep the loonies on the path, you will still get what you need without the requirement of looking at that prism on black to remind you what you get from them?

How else can catch a note of something you remember and stop to strain to hear it from a distance, or random sound sounds tricking you into thinking you are hearing a song you know.

I think this is normal for anyone though (not just different thinkers) as otherwise the nostalgic effect of hearing old music would not be there. (If you want a nice experience, listen to Boards of Canada's album : Music has the right to children, I feel it has an amazing way of sparking nostalgia and memory even if you have never heard it before, the effect might be more pronounced if you are over 35 though ;P) As with any sound, if you listen for too long you won't hear it anymore, as people always remind me about the bells I have lived next to for 10 years that chime every 30 mins.

I am glad my chosen hobby is so broad that there is no possibility to ever master it fully. Sometimes even figuring out some small subsection or part or my hobby can lead to a week or more of no activity as I have to deal (almost grieve) for the fact that I can't learn something I enjoyed learning about. (sounds odd)

Mastery of anything I enjoy is a very scary thing, as no matter how enjoyable something is I will probably never go back to it again as it can no longer occupy all 3 spaces I need, Mind, hands and eyes.

So a bit of a ramble but your change in interest in sports may have very different reasons for your disinterest in certain bands or music genres.

As for the "Wandering" this sounds similar to what I have in my moments where i'm between focused activities. I have to anchor my mind on something real or I will enter that state and I can really hate being stuck in that place because its a no-mans land.

I try to deal with this in the same way I have to fall asleep, using focused day dreaming I try to create a story path to follow. Sometimes they lead to a dead end and have to change other times they lead to a different story, but they also lead to questions, ideas, puzzles, languages I may want to learn or a skill I may want to acquire and then I can sometimes head off on that path after a period of fixing my thoughts on that goal and then when not in bed, looking up information which can then in turn drive the stories I need to sleep easier, which is a nice balance that they feed each other. (yeh sounds weird, but otherwise I remain awake, it usually takes about 1.5 hours to get to sleep)

Maybe your brains just needs some new questions or puzzles and your current puzzle is what that puzzle should be.

Sorry for the long post.