The things I do for fun

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Last night, I needed internet. I don't have internet at home, so I went over to a friends house that I currently have an open invite to show up to. I haven't yet burned through that so I was good there.

I find that another friend is already there, and several more were invited. Basically nearly all of our group of friends except me was invited to hang out, have a bonfire, roast hot dogs over the fire, drink, and have fun. Yeah it's a thursday night. Yes, none of them have a full time job that they had to be at early in the morning. That's not what this post is about in its entirety.

At some point the neighbors two or three houses down were getting into it. Verbal arguments, and making quite a bit of noise with a slammed door and slammed gate. People were yelling and screaming for a bit. Those of us a few houses down in the backyard got quiet and started listening. It went on for almost a half an hour, but towards the end, whoever they were made up, with one of them closing with the statement, "I love you."

I yelled out in response, "I love you to." And no one laughed at it. Certainly not the neighbors who we couldn't even see. One of my friends didn't freak out, but he was startled that I would say something like that and didn't outright say it, but I think he hinted that I shouldn't have said that, but I'm not sure. It was something like I said what we were all thinking, but didn't want to say. I forget the exact wording, but it was something like that.

I thought it was hilarious. I cracked up laughing at the end.

But my friends response and the other friendss lack of any response got me thinking.

Something the friend said before is that I'm not that funny, but compared me to his younger brother who is really funny. His younger brother is NT, and is able to socialize fairly well. He always has the right thing to say at the right time. But for me, I was described that I brute force my humor. I attempt to say funny things regardless of the consequence, and they overlook it, but occasionally, I strike gold. Of course this doesn't even account for the times I've said really funny things, and I didn't even realize it because I was trying to say something serious.

And then I realized, I hadn't been invited over when near everyone else in our group was. Only two others weren't there. And I got really uncomfortable. I ended up after my laptop battery was almost dead, just sitting off to the side with my phone, not being able to participate, because I think I may have been random enough in my need of internet beyond my smart phone internet to show up at the right time for something that I wasn't supposed to be there or wasn't wanted there. I kept calm, but I felt dejected because I didn't know if I was intruding on the event itself. As far as I could tell it wasn't anything special like a birthday party, or important event. As soon as everyone started leaving, I just ditched out and left. I managed to be the first in my car, and get out first because, I was rushing because I felt sort of embarassed and by now confused.

So that's what happened. Any thoughts or input?

My guess is that you interfered with your friend's relationship with his neighbors--something he may not have appreciated. Living in cramped urban or suburban quarters means a person may have the same neighbors for the rest of his or her life. So, it pays to stay on good terms with them as much as possible. Bad relations with the neighbors can make life far worse than it has to be.

I will also say that this is a mistake I could see myself making. It's why I like living way off by myself. If I'm not around people, I tend to avoid any problems with them.

Humor is about timing. It is about knowing your audience well enough to say the right thing at the right time.

Timing is an intuitive thing that I really suk at, therefore my sense of humor is considered odd and/or brutish. I tend to withdraw from humor in a group setting unless it is a practiced routine like a skit. There are just too many variables for me to calculate.

I concur with TheLibrarian. The neighbors argument changed the 'mood' of your group and raised the stakes of any attempt at humor among your group. The fact that you may have revealed to the neighbors that their fight was not private, further escalated tensions and introduced a dynamic shift in your audience by combining both groups in an awkward way. Funny joke or not, no one in your group could laugh as the neighbors would likely have taken offence that your group found humor in the neighbor's pain. Since tensions were already high, that could have started a fight depending on the neighborhood.

Not all tension is bad. You simply have to be on like a laser to nail a joke in a tense situation.

Such attempts at humor are beyond me so I avoid the situation if I can. Never listen to an argument your neighbors are having.

Good fences make good neighbors.

Involvement in a domestic dispute is dangerous. There are times to intervene. Those times always include violence or the threat of same. Never involve yourself in 'making up' time unless you were an active participant in the dispute. Fights are messy. I recommend you quietly monitor such situations and only involve yourself when duty requires that you do.

"Involvement in a domestic dispute is dangerous. There are times to intervene. Those times always include violence or the threat of same. Never involve yourself in 'making up' time unless you were an active participant in the dispute. Fights are messy. I recommend you quietly monitor such situations and only involve yourself when duty requires that you do."

Very true. In the US at least, more police are injured and killed dealing with domestic disputes than anything else.

In the US many unarmed and innocent people are killed by police involving themselves in domestic disputes.

You have to protect yourself from both sides. This is what makes these things so hazardous.

I thought it was funny.
I'd have done the same thing.

But then again, I'm here aren't I? =)

Ok, first off, I thought that was hilarious! I burst out laughing when I read it.

Second, people shouldn't be having such loud noisy fights outside if they want them to be private. I mean c'mon, they're raging at each other in public for half an hour and he can't make light of it? It was a group event and they made it a group event, not the OP.

when my neighbors are noisy I make a beeline for the indoors. I don't want to be bothered by their stuff.

^Seconded. But then again, I've had neighbors who were rather free with their use of firearms and alcohol.