Were you a gifted child? How are you seen as adult?

Post Reply New Topic

No, my social issues aren't really the reason I'm just starting a career finally. I just got started working rather late. I didn't really start working on a regular basis till about 5 years ago.

I'm not really trying to advance in a large established company, and though I understand what you're saying, understand that I can't necessarily help it if I often come off as disrespectful, condescending, frustrated, annoyed, and/or mean.
Frankly that's why I work from home these days.
I couldn't deal with working with people in person every day, it was just too much after a while.
I tried to be nice and civil, but dealing with it every day just became way too stressful and I couldn't really keep a lid on it forever.

Not everyone knows things about life that we don't necessarily, however everyone has their own story to tell for sure.
I'm actually relatively good at meeting people and being friendly with them in casual social situations.
Anything beyond that, however, generally doesn't happen, and people who get to know me after a while realize I'm rather problematic and annoying in various ways.
Also, the more comfortable I get with people, the more of my real self I let them see which can be relatively unfortunate for everyone involved, but I can't seem to keep a lid on everything every day if I'm around the same people for long enough and feel comfortable enough in the environment I'm in.

Anyhow, I'm just trying to find a company that will actually pay me enough to live on for what I do which is complicated, constantly changing, requires a slew of specialized skill sets and talents, and is worth a living wage and more imho.

Hopefully you'll find a company that appreciates your skills and shows it in the paycheck too.

There's a reason why this subject resonates with me. My father is a know it all, of the worst kind, so I know how annoying and infuriating it can be. I'd say he's got Aspergers too or he's at least a borderline case. That's why I always worry about giving the same vibe to people. Censoring myself and "keeping a lid on" is pretty much a second nature to me already. But I'm high functioning and experienced at this age, so I can see it not being easy for many.

I've found that the only "gift" that makes a difference as an adult is social skills.

Very interesting reading all around, especially the earlier part about natural talent without creativity, and how this can develop with age.

I was recently diagnosed with AS, but I suspect my best friend from childhood has it as well. She could draw anything starting when we were 5 years old. My sitting cat drawings looked like triangles with circles on them, and hers had muscle shading... she'd study animals for hours. She was also sensitive about clothing, always had headaches, totally blunt in conversation... anyway, in college she had to pick between studio art and art history. I wanted her to pick studio art and go on to be a creative genius. She picked art history, and now she has a totally elite career as an art conservationist. She does some personal work--portraits and comics--but she's told me she just never felt that creative. A lot of the posts in this thread made me think of her.

I learned to read later, age 7-8 I think, but since then I've always been freaky good at English--can pass tests and essays in my sleep--but same problem, no real creativity. Which sucks when everyone is telling you to go be a brilliant writer in your teens/ early 20's and you half buy into it. I fell into a very weird professional place that's actually a pretty logical extension of that skill... online content writing, which lead to SEO. It seems pretty obvious now that I've been diagnosed, that AS is compatible with taking apart the internet--everyone I worked with thought I was a total genius and some connections (between language, natural semantics, and intent) would seem so obvious to me (I say that with total humility/ naivite, like, I REALLY didn't get how no one else had done it already) which meant I could get away with insane personal behavior and was well paid, but I always felt like a fake/ stupid lucky and damn if it didn't take an inhuman amount of mental focus, which totally caught me off guard--like the engineer said in an earlier post, the more involved it got both intellectually and also logistically, the more I couldn't walk away from a job I'm not personally passionate about at all--not healthy. Interesting, less obvious use-cases of following childhood gifts into adulthood, I think.

Well, hope someone found it all interesting. Only my second post here, getting to know the forums...

I was (or was at least close to being) a gifted child; around four years ahead of my peers when I started school. But due to egalitarian ideology among some teachers, I wasn't allowed to progress until the other kids had caught up with me. The headmaster even confiscated a grammar book one of the teachers had given me unofficially, because it was a few years ahead of what I should be learning (which I of course already knew). The year before, my math teacher told me I wasn't allowed to solve any more problems until Christmas break, when I proudly showed him I'd solved every exercise in the textbook (on the second day of that school year). Those jerks pretty much killed whatever joy of learning I had left. It should be noted that the math teacher probably said that jokingly though, but that didn't dawn on me until twenty years later. But he didn't give me any more exercises in any case, so joke or not, he showed no interest in letting me progress either.

Now? I spent seven years getting my first bachelor's degree, which turned out to be useless in the employment market. Two years later, I went back to college, but burned out because I hated the place. Now I've returned to my old university, which I love. But I have a complete lack of study technique, I'm prone to let psychological problems (depressions, eating disorder, anxiety) overwhelm me, and I'm currently getting nervous I'll fail my finals this fall. While some of this is my fault, and some of it is due to other people and events, I can't help thinking that if I lived in a proper country with proper schools for gifted kids (or at the very least proper individual teaching, like kids with learning disabilities or dyslexia get!), and was made to fill my potential as a kid, I would've... well... filled my potential. Since all of this happened before the bullying started. And since I was bullied partly *because* I was more intelligent than my peers (and in one case, my teacher - I spent my year in his school wanting to die), I suspect the bullying problem wouldn't have been as big in a school that specialized in kids with academic skills above normal.

I guess dwelling on it doesn't help, though, but seriously, if I ever get kids (especially if they turn out to be likely to get in the same situation), I'm fleeing this screwed up country, where mediocrity is admired, and skilled/gifted kids are treated like they're a nuisance. Perhaps no wonder, since teacher students have an average grade of D (or something like that) from high school.

That's like when I was five. I vividly remember teaching the other kids how to draw clothes on people. I couldn't understand why they were drawing round circles with sticks for arms. I wish I'd thought of her career path. I was always pushed toward art. I never though of combining it with history. I know what you mean as well about being encouraged to become a writer. I was pushed towards that as well, but I can't think of anything to write. I reckon my old English teacher is disapointed I never became a published novelist. I write web text too now, but I'm not very good at it. I also have to come up with images for adverts and I find it very difficult. Thank goodness for stock image libraries!



I had a similar problem, but wasn't as advanced as you. I used to finish my work quickly in class and be sitting doing nothing waiting for the other kids to finish. I would notice the teacher would be spending time helping the kids who were slower and it used to bother me that I was ignored because I was clever. I would have benefited from being in a whole class of more intelligent students. I remember in junior school i was taken out of regular class with some other pupils to do a special project because we were more clever and they wanted to encourage us, so that was good at least.

I was very shy as a child and always on my one,never making more than one friend until middle school.I preferred to be alone reading,drawing and outdoors.I was always very creative and excelled at art.I studied studio art and art history in university but realized I could not do them for a profession.I still do watercolors from time to time.People always compliment me on my art and my talents.I also wrote poetry in the past and tried to write a book.People take me seriously and I am happy about that.
In school I always problems with math and science.I have never been able to become familiar with the theories and concepts.Teachers were always patient with me but expressed concern to my parents.I have still yet to pass a college level math and science class.
I've been described with having "an artistic personality" and I agree with that.Over the years my social skills have drastically improved,such as enunciation and voice volume,to the point where my counselor doubts I qualify for Asperger's.It is really gratifying to see how much I have learned,matured and grown confident and comfortable in myself.I ended old habits and traits,most of all anxiety.Even when I had insufficient social skills I always enjoyed spending time with older and young people,I was never silent or completely isolated.
I think the hardest time growing up for me was in high school.It was a Catholic school so religion was forced upon me.I didn't like my uniform or the long commute.I looked forward to art and English classes because I always got A's in them and could express myself.I had stopped ballet at 15 but now I wish I had run track all four years instead of just my senior year.I was already struggling with depression and did not do well socially.I never went to dances or mingled with boys so I was not comfortable around them.In fact while walking home one day several boys were sitting on the sidewalk and one of them said to me,"You are beautiful" and I was so scared and confused that I gave him the middle finger and ran home! Hilarious now to think of,but at the time I was so insecure that I didn't know how to handle it.
I love being a creative person.I have a lot of fun in my life and I love having my artistic perspective and imagination.There is never a dull moment!

I was labelled gifted by age 10, but my school work was pretty average. Had a hard time socially, was very shy. Had a nervous stomach and home worries.

Now as an adult, my quirks are my assets. In my PhD program, it isn't weird to be focused on my research etc. The working world was much harder because of the social piece. "Not fun" would be putting it mildly. If I could stay at this university forever, I would be happy.

i was labelled as gifted ... now my family -basically- treats me as a child.

^THIS^ a thousand times... this.

it is the bane of my existence. i much prefer my books and a quiet corner. i did not understand that social connections were necessary for career advancement until i had -essentially- trashed my first career and lifelong passion (math/sigint analysis). and then nearly ruined my fall back as well.

i spent all of the funds i had saved for college during my military service toiling away towards my degree... without ever doing a single internship or taking part in any studies or volunteering in any projects on campus... and now i am racing around in what amounts to my infinite free time attempting to salvage what i can.

I was seen as a 'gifted' child as I could read and write well before starting school and far earlier than any of my first class mates. I watched the news and read the newspaper so had a precocious knowledge of current events whilst my table mates wanted to play at being cowboys and indians. I found the whole school environment both frightening and bewildering. I remember answering one particular little thug who challenged me in my first week, "You think you are better than us!" with an honest response, "Well of course I am, you can barely read or write and your clothes are dirty and smelly!" Now I just didn't realise that you weren't suppose to say that out loud or that being more advanced in a subject was something I wasn't supposed to celebrate. He then took to punching me every day for weeks until I hit him over the head with a chair. Now with the 20/20 vision of hindsight, I realise that this wasn't acceptable, but at the time it was very satisfying.

By the end of the first year at school I was reading books from reading age way above my chronological one, which meant I had to go into the older chilren's classroom and run the gauntlet of a different set of burlier thugs to choose one of their reading books. I got around this by carrying around my own childrens encylopedia, never for a second suspecting that this, again, was socially unacceptable and thereby a legitimate reason to be attacked. Again. When I retaliated, which I assumed was a reciprocal part of the arrangement, I was the one who was singled out by the staff as being difficult. Another valuable life lesson there!

I began to feel ashamed of being bright and did my best to hide it - albeit I didn't have to fake it when it came to Mathematics as I simply didn't see the point and none of the numbers stuck in my head. It was all so frustrating, one one occasion I got a gold star for a piece of work I had to write about "violence is wrong because..." whilst seperated from the class for punching the nose of the closest one of six kids who were poking and pinching me when the teachers back was turned. At the same time I would get high 90%'s in English, History and Geography - where I loved to draw maps. I guess the biggest lesson I learned, which was stated earlier in the thread, was that the only way to get on was to study people and learn to be like one of them. This became one of my obsessions, albeit it was difficult to obtain materials in the mid to late 1960' and early 1970's.

Being bright or gifted singled you out as weird or different in the working class area I lived, and as I didn't need much help in that respect, it was shameful to me and I retreated more and more into my own shell. A series of 'difficult experiences' stemming from my lack of social skills, support network and placing trust in predators caused me to leave my home town as soon as possible and, having failed all of my exams, the only work I could get was what I guess is described as 'blue collar'.

It is impossible to switch my head off, and I gave myself a really hard time for my failures, but couldn't stop reading and writing. Later on I had a couple of books of poetry published under a pseudonym, but they weren't really good enough in my eyes so I stopped writing. Not that I hold much stead with the process (as I am aware they are culturally flawed), but I had my IQ measured at mid 140's, so I am not thick, but I never managed to find a job I could get comfortable with.

However, my continuing studies in 'cultural anthropology' or 'human studies' meant that I managed to pass as an NT and became a brilliant salesman, earning a fortune, and subsequently spending said fortune trying to cope with what was required to be a successful saleman! Reliance (or dependance) upon substances to function, isn't much fun so I moved on.

It was only when I met my life partner that I managed to put the brakes on my tailspin. She encouraged me to write again and then convinced me to apply to a local university who were happy to consider APEL (and swallow a lie about lost certificates) to give me a place on a business course. I left with a First Class Honours Degree. I have since gained a Masters Degree in Law; yet find myself working in an administrative post that, frankly, a trained chimp could easily cope with. I think the chimp would probably quit due to the wages, but I don't have that luxury due to mortgages etc.

As I get older, I find myself more unable to cope with the 'normal' (horrible word) work environment and the idea of being a 'team player'. I seem to have found that this consisted of me doing the work and the others talking about whatever pointless "celebrity" dancing, singing, ice skating or cooking competition they are slavishly following. They insist on showing me photographs of their offspring, yet when I want to show them pictures of my dogs, they don't seem interested.

A dweller on the threshold is what I am destined to remain.

It isn't all doom and gloom, I have a relationship with the most amazing woman in all the multiverses and that has brought me levels of happiness I could never have dared to hope for, but at the back of this remains a nagging little voice that berates me for not making more of my ability. I've always done my best, and from what I gather, that is important, but that doesn't seem to appease the voice. I am working to challenge the voice, but 50 years of life lessons don't go away overnight.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVZ87aJiytk

I have a very high IQ. In fact everybody on my father's side of the family has a genius-level IQ. However, I have very little social intelligence or emotional intelligence. I also have trouble with time management and getting organized.

I graduated near the top of my class in high school. I got a full academic scholarship to a prestigious liberal arts college. I basically flunked out after two years. I have yet to accomplish anything as an adult except being clean and sober for over 9 years and completing my bachelor's degree (almost)--a degree I will not use because it does not fit my personality. My social problems and mental issues (multiple addictions, depression, anxiety) cancel out my intelligence when it comes to making money. I make poor decisions that backfire on me. I am currently unemployed and trying to come up with a strategy on where to go next. Writing has always been my best strength so I am thinking of pursuing a career in writing.

Yes, there's a world out there crammed with ignorant autistics who're doing ok. Another slice get by but don't like it. Another slice fail. Autism plays no part in any of their conversations.

Why is this?

No, I had learning difficulties and problems with attention. So I was put in a learning support group. I can read fluently, but my reading comprehension is poor - I remember I was evaluated back in college. I was in the bottom classes for the subjects that were split into groups of ability during secondary school. I found the classroom environment difficult and overwhelming.

I'm seen now as a guy with an average intelligence.

edit***

egocentrism on the part of those of us whom have higher than normal intelligence.

I wasn't taught how to do anything academic before school started but I was frequently praised for my academic work in primary (elementary) school and the first few years of high school. It was suggested by many teachers that I needed a curriculum that was more challenging but that never happened. After that, the praise was replaced with admonishments for "not trying hard enough" and "not working to my full potential".