Mom doesn't want me to move out

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This sounds like a problem an 18 year old would have, and I moved out at 18 against my mom's wishes, well I'm back living on her property again (different location than my childhood home) and I want to move to land in Oregon and grow/raise my own food. My mom is once again arguing that I shouldn't, that my "decision making skills" are not up to par enough for me to move out, that I "make snap decisions that are bad" and she needs me to be close to her. I ask her what she wants me to do once my folks are gone, and she starts babbling about living trusts. I don't mean financially, I mean about living independently. She never answers. It's always "oh you'll have money from selling the house and you won't have to give up SSI and blah blah blah" and she never considers anything else. She likes mothering people, my dad is totally dependent on her and she likes that. She has told me that I can't make any long trips in her car (which I drive, by "long trips" she means going to Oregon to scout land) so I plan to buy a pickup. She talks about "oh you never consider how much everything costs" but yes I have. What should I do?

Live your own life.

Get away from her ASAP. I hate to sound cold, but she's the type of emotionally manipulative, controlling person you do NOT need in your life. I know the type very well. You need to put some distance between yourself and her as quickly as possible. She's just going to continue to undermine your self-confidence and independence and prevent you from being the person you can be.

You have to live your life for yourself, not for your mother. It is natural for parents to be concerned for the welfare of their children, but too much concern can lead to hobbling you so you can never learn the skills you need to live on your own. Of course you will make some mistakes, but everybody makes some mistakes when they live on their own. But you learn from them and you move on.

My feeling is you need to work out for yourself what you need to do to live effectively and then politely inform your mother of your plans, but do not give her control over how you live your life. It would be nice of you if you were to keep her informed of how you are doing after you move out, but if she is too manipulative and controlling you might have to limit your contact with her.

How does she know what would happen to you if you've never had a chance to try? You need experience and it sounds like she's been afraid to let go and let you get some. Your dream might work but it might not. Better to find out while you're still relatively young. What's the worst that could happen?

Have you tried and failed at other endeavours before? That may be why she's so adamant.

P. S. I like your plan. Wish I could do that, but I'm weighted with responsibility.

Parents are never perfect. Sometimes they can be a little too controlling, or overbearing. Love your parents. Get her to give you some space. She might be a pain about it, but include her somehow. Because you care. Be fortunate to have loving parents. When I was 18, my parents left me. That was both weird, and very difficult for me because I was not ready. They told me to get roomates, and just left????? Wtf. Eh??? When you know your ready, you will leave the nest.

Unfortunately, my response was based on experiences, both with my own mother and couple of other peoples'. You truly do need to get away from her, far more than you even realize now. Later on you'll come to realize the harmful effect she is on you, and how many opportunities in life she has destroyed for you. She will continue to negatively impact your life until you move away from her and limit contact.

Tell her you are going anyway. Explain that if she's right and you fail because you can't do it then it's better to fail now with her still alive to help you afterwards than when she's dead because if you don't do it now you'll take all the money she leaves you and go out there and invest it in some farm, so which is better? Let her think you really would make a knee jerk reaction and invest all the money in some fly by night place, but don't emphasise it too much cause she might cut you out of the will then.

But just do it. So what if she doesn't want you to go? I bet she does a lot of things you don't want her to do either. That's life and she's got to understand that.

Your mom sounds like an incredible woman. You are incredibly blessed.

I try not to talk about it with her, because I get the same old BS every time. I recently said that I want to "live independently" and she says "you already ARE living independently!" She says that because I'm not living under the same roof in a literal sense, I live in a cottage in back. But it still feels like I'm living with my parents. She is one of those people that can't stand to think of any animal being hurt or killed in any way, so she won't let me raise meat animals. I told her that 75,000 cows froze to death during a freak snowstorm in South Dakota-there was 12 hours of rain then 4 feet of snow, and the wet cows froze-and she got sick just from that. They're cows! Stuff like that happens. She's a vegetarian, she makes chocolate smoothies with protein powders and that's basically what she lives on. I want to prep for the coming second financial crisis, and she says there's no need. She is a person who says "whatever happens happens, just deal with it". It's frustrating, and she won't listen to me at all.

It's a mom's job to nag and being overbearing sometimes (or all the time). Just do what you think is best and she'll get used to it. It might force her to concentrate on her own interests and life. She'll get over it and be proud of you.

I think it's a great idea to live on a sustainable farm. It's wonderful to give "meat animals" (as you put it) lives that they can enjoy instead of being on a huge dirty meat factory compound. The slaughter part isn't a lot of fun, but everyone dies in one way or another.