I am lost. I am an alcoholic and want to quit drinking.

Post Reply New Topic

I have been wrestling with an addiction to alcohol and want to stop. I am currently living at my friend of 10 years apartment with her and her brother. I get drunk just about every night. I don't know where to go. I have no other place to live but the street or this apartment with my friends. I have been thinking about checking myself into rehab, although I have no idea where to start with the process and not to mention aftercare. I know that going back to where I am staying would be a horrible idea and I would ink back into the same patterns and routines. My Dad will not let me back into his house and neither will my brother. I would need some kind of halfway house or even a new city to remove myself from the negative environment. I tried to quit while living there 3 different times and have just got pulled back in by my friends and those whom we associate with.

I don't know where to begin, where to go or even people to call. I feel so alone as doing this will undoubtedly will remove many people from my life that I currently associate with. I am scared of change like this. I do know that if I do this I will be better off later on. I have no money or it might be a bit easier to get help.

Any advice would be helpful, I really need a point in the right direction. I am so tired of living day to day with no goal other than to get drunk at the end of the day.

try looking in the phone book for alcoholics anonymous and calling them for advice. the local housing authority may help you with subsidized housing if you are on disability. you may have to spend a night in a homeless shelter to get bumped up on the list for subsidized housing.

i applaud your desire to quit. my dad drank to ease the isolation from asperger's and ended up dying of liver cancer from drinking. i figured out he spent $200,000 on booze to kill himself. my mom sure could use that money now. or he could have gotten himself something awfully nice. also, i grew up mostly without a father because when he wasn't working, he was out drinking. i missed my dad lots.

Alcoholics Anonymous is free, meets in every city and will help you with sane, sober thinking so you can start to get your life together. In this economy you will need to start where you are; it's very unlikely you will find free inpatient help.

A move to another city without money or a job will put you homeless.

I feel for you. I am a recovering alcoholic and I have been in that pit of hell where you hate what you crave. I have the utmost respect for AA but that didn't do it for me, perhaps because I was never able to connect socially with the other members. I went into rehab when I had no other choice, I was lucky that there is a rehab that is non profit in my town. It was hard but I learned tools that helped over the rough spots and I have been sober for 11 years. The most important thing I wish to convey to you is you must ask for help. I tried to do it via self will for years and if anything I got worse. When you get to the point where you say "please just tell me what to do, because I give up", then you're ready. I would also like to say that there was a time that I felt completely hopeless about my ability to stop drinking, but with help I did it and life is sweeter.

Yes, I live this too. Life was hard as an undiagnosed Aspie.
Starting from the beginning, I was lucky enough to be sent to a private school growing up. Lucky because the class sizes were very small and it allowed me to obtain a small group of very loyal and loving friends. Out of my original 3 best friends, one remains, but that is not my point.
I always had trouble with being social and in my high school years, I started having noticeable issues. My 'old' friends tried valiantly to bring me along and integrate me into their networks. To some degree, it worked, and I made new friends, but being a teenager, I always sort of had an ulterior motive - girls.
One of the things I found that I could do to fit in and try to get close to women was to drink/use. It only partially worked and eventually the drugs/booze became my ulterior motive for being social at all.

Flash forward 20 years.
I stayed out of jail, never hurt anyone but myself, but found my life in ruins just the same. Around 6 years ago (thank God not longer), I had sunk to a point that I could no longer afford my DOC, which was cannabis. Instead of going straight, I found that a couple beers every night helped me to relax and cope with the days stresses and also helped me sleep.
Like all the literature says, alcoholism is a progressive disease and 2 beers became 3, and then 4 and eventually 6 to 10. I had never ever experienced this escalation with maryjane, and found the hangovers were growing increasingly debilitating. I realized I had to stop this last summer in July.

Like I said, I was only a 6-pack a day drinker for the most part, and only daily for 6 years or so - I truly feel for the people that let themselves go to hard liquor like one of my brothers who has nearly died from alcohol-overdose 3 times.

The Aspie answer you were looking for:
Quitting anything is hard, I quit cigarettes 18 years ago and never looked back, but it was damn hard. With the booze, I found that most of all, anxiety and insomnia were big issues.
I have been to AA meetings and find them completely ridiculous, NT's are lucky that being that social matters to them. My standard course of action is substitution/medication for stuff like insomnia.

** Please remember I am not a doctor, nor do I know anyone's individual situation **
I have found melatonin helpful in regulating my sleep rhythms, I used to have problems with 25-26 hour days that would have me cycling around the clock and unable to work, melatonin effectively cured that condition and has worked for almost 17 years now. Regular sleep/nutrition is important in feeling good again after you quit booze.

For the anxiety of the first week of withdrawal/adjustment, I found L-Theanine to be a Godsend and it also helps me sleep. It is an amazing supplement in that it helps daytime anxiety without drowsiness, but aids sleep also. The only thing that even comes close to this 'dual-action' is cannabis. On a side note, sadly, cannabis can be an anti-depressant and has a built-in anti-psychotic that I found (after quitting) was extremely helpful in making me more 'normal'. Too bad the NT's will never allow this amazing plant to be studied/used for treatment of Autism, they are just too brainwashed to fear it, and the billion dollar pharma industry will never allow it. SSRI's are poison to my personal body chemistry.

To close, if you are really hooked on hard liquor and face DT's, you should try to get some inpatient/medical help if you can, I have been living below the poverty line since leaving home and so have no such resources.
If you are alone, and have no way to get help - there are 2 options:
Go to the ER and explain you are detoxing and they will usually check you over and give you some tranqs like Librium to help.
-or -
you have 2 other options: (That's my attempt at a joke)
1. Ween yourself off the booze with measured, regular, decreasing doses (I recommend cold-turkey if you can do it)
2. If you can afford it, there is a legal OTC (though hard to find except on Web) tranquilizer called Phenibut.
Phenibut is very helpful in the first couple days of physical withdrawals, but like the benzos, is extraordinarily addictive if overdone. Be careful, for God's sake, you don't want to wind up worse than you were.

Well that's it, the 'Aspie Guide to Kicking Booze' - I hope I have helped someone here, the using part of my life has been hard, but things are slowly improving. It really honestly does feel good to be sober, you just have to get used to it, and that can be hard, I assume that is where AA helps some people.

Good Luck and best wishes.

**EDIT from my original post -
Hi, I thought of a couple other things, and I love to be complete with my information.

Alcoholics in rehab are always given a folate(folic acid) supplement, and maybe some other stuff.
I have found that multi-vitamins make me nauseous, but an excellent vitamin regimen for a recovering alky is:
Vitamin C
Magnesium + Zinc
A low-dose B-complex that includes folate. I found an awesome one called B50

Follow label directions, except maybe the magnesium, you only need 100% of your daily at most. Don't overdo vitamins. (Also, never knew this til I took them, magnesium supps can be awesome as an antacid before bed, also a gentle laxative - totally replaced Zantac for me, Zantac had very negative effects on me and the magnesium is much cheaper)

Exercise - Good for whatever ails you. Depression, sleep, anxiety, fatigue, confidence -- regular exercise can do it all.

One of the things that kept me from acknowledging my asperger's, even after diagnosis, was the decades I spent as a "problem drinker". For some reason or another I convinced myself that people with Apserger's didn't use drugs or drink. So, I couldn't have Asperger's. I think it was part of my denial. My heavy drinking coincided with my beginning highschool and social antes being upped. Everytime I was placed in a social situation, I either stood along the back wall or got blind drunk. This continued for twenty more years. I tried AA at one point but it didn't stick. I wasn't ready. As they say, "there but for the grace..." because I put myself in some HORRIBLE situations and missed many opportunities. The fact I am still alive amazes me sometimes. And, then one day, I found out I was pregnant with my twin daughters. And, I stopped. I mean, that was it. It's like I found something more important-- and it was like a light switch. The psychologist I work with told me that isn't completely uncommon. An apsie trait being it is either yes or no... on or off. Only after stopping drinking did some of my more hardcore traits become apparent to me, and was I forced to deal with them. I am still able to go out and have a beer-- although I have lost the taste for most alcohol and I usually want to leave bars and taverns soon after arriving because of the noise and people bumping into me. It has really become a joy being able to stay at home, watching old episodes of Dr. Who while knitting after my daughters have gone to bed. I am not saying the solution is to go knock someone up so you can become a parent. But, I hope you see it is possible to move beyond this point in your life.

Sorry to go on and on, but rather than edit my above post again, I wanted to leave one last comment for the original poster:

I have been homeless, it is unbearable. Being around strangers while in that situation was so hard that I preferred to sleep in the streets, not good, and I hope you find a situation that works for you, even if it does mean living in a shelter for a time.

You are not alone. You apparently have Web access and have found Wrong Planet, I guarantee there are people here that love you, even if they never post or tell you so.

Part of starting the process you are facing is telling yourself that the best is yet to come. There is no way for you to know what 'not drinking' will be like until you do it. You may not even have to give up all your friends as you describe, if your friends are only good for drinking buddies, then you will know that when you are sober, and adjust as needed.

I care, and I will be here for you if you ever post an update or have questions, just give me some time, I have mood swings and I may disappear from time to time.

I don't like to be around people, but I care very much for the downtrodden, I want to do what I can.

This thread is making me thirsty.

I find that I used to drink out of boredom. Cannabis seems to kill any craving I want for a drink, but mostly it is seeing what happens to people that don't get it under control.

I think it is as big a problem as you make it in your mind. I never drink earlier than 6-7pm, other than if there is a big match on (Football or Rugby).

Next time you have the urge to drink, have a soft drink first. I love my Dr. Pepper and Espresso Machine!

I put little faith in Alcoholics Anonymous, due to their shocking success rates. I have these two books, which I found very helpful:

http://peele.net/bookstore/truth.html
http://rational.org/catalog/product_inf ... 5b9e90756b

This is required reading and very true to what got me into bother:

https://rational.org/index.php?id=36

Hey, I went through what you are going through a few years ago.

Culminated in a year where I was drinking a bottle of whiskey a day and 6 or more beers. Every day. I had the DTs. Quit cold turkey and it worked out ok. I can't do half measures, it's all or nothing with me. I left town to go to a conference, and as soon as I left home I quit. Being away from the home environment helped enormously.

The way I quit, well, I had hit bottom pretty hard. My body likes booze, I never had a hangover in my life. It's the one of the 4 different body archetypes that most often leads to alcoholism. I was a CRAZY drunk. It gave me a lot of energy, made me black out, and I was a jerk to everybody. I quit because I didn't want to be a crappy person, I was offending and hurting people and couldn't remember a bit of it.

For me, quitting is all about reminding myself of the crappy things that will happen if I have a drink. Quitting didn't make it hard for me to be around drinkers afterwards. It is hard to live with drinkers who leave booze laying around though. When I'm all alone and I don't think I can hurt anyone, that's when I am tempted.

For a couple months after I quit, I was just stunned. in total shutdown. Memories were coming back too fast and I couldn't process them. So I sat on the porch and stared off into space for a couple months, just dwelling on the past.

AA and 12 step programs don't work for me, because I am a staunch atheist, have no faith. 12 step requires faith. If you do want to do a 12 step, go to Minneapolis. They have the best rehab programs in the nation there. It's where people go to clean up and get their head together.

But I think getting away is a really important part. even if you're not going to move to another town, just taking a vacation, alone is kind of crucial. If you have any money, a train ride is good. They go real slow, so lots of time to sit and watch the scenery. If you can go south and go camping, that would be good too. Long bicycle tour is the best, but it's probably too cold for that right now in Nebraska. Don't go to a party town, like a college town. Do you have any sober friends or relatives that live elsewhere? Can you explain your situation to them and go crash there for a couple weeks even?

Do you have hobbies? Keeping busy is crucial. I have lots of hobbies, and I found that quitting drinking was AWESOME for getting things done. In fact, about 6 months after I quit drinking, I stopped being bored. Yhat was more than 3 years ago, haven't been bored since then. Now I get "content" instead.

Hope any of that helps.

How do you face the prospect of having lost your friends and the woman who loved you, of getting old alone and knowing most people who meet you are scared of you? That's why I self-medicate. Cowardly I know but you haven't seen the way people look at me.

I drank regularly since I was 14 and didn't manage to quit till 38. The real problem for me was I never had any medication to help with my Aspie symptoms until 38. Drinking was the only way I could cope before then. If your not on meds I highly suggest it.

I drank regularly since I was 14 and didn't manage to quit till 38. The real problem for me was I never had any medication to help with my Aspie symptoms until 38. Drinking was the only way I could cope before then. If your not on meds I highly suggest it.

The salvation army has rehab places that are free. They are pretty crummy places to be, but it does the job of getting people off booze or whatever their drug of choice happens to be.

I think it helped me to stop thinking about drinking as a matter of will and character. I drank the most trying to convince myself that I could control it. Alcohol triggers something in my brain akin to compulsion and after that it's all over. I remember asking my brother if he felt an overwhelming desire for another after he had a drink. He looked blank and said no. That clued me in that something was different in the way my brain reacted to alcohol. Getting dry via rehab was the first step, then learning tools to recognize and avoid relapse. They say you relapse in your mind before you ever pick up that drink again and I think that's true.

AA has worked for me. This coming Tuesday (July I will celebrate 21 years of sobriety! I still go to meetings 3-4 times a week. As someone else pointed out, they are in about every city, they are free, you can go tomorrow, and you will be welcomed there. I wish you luck, active alcoholism is a horrible way to live. I cant believe how I used to live